Stopped Helping Myself

[Tanner40]

It's just amazing how my brain works when i start feeling better. I stop doing all of the things that I do for myself to get to the place of feeling better. The last couple of days my anxiety has increased and I have felt a bit depressed.

For the last three or four days, I quit writing every morning in my journal; I quit working on my CBT; I quit watching dummy videos and doing meditation. I have allowed situations over which I have no control to affect me. why did I do this? I don't know why but it happens sometimes when I start to feel better.

There have been times that I haven't even wanted to come on here. I haven't posted any threads on my own , but have responded to a few. I thought that if I could help some other people, then maybe it would get me motivated to help myself.

So at least for today, I've got to get back on the road to recovery and start doing the things that I have found to be helpful. any advice or tips would be appreciated.

[hangingbasket]

This happens to me too. When I feel better I get slack with the things I practice. I let my caffeine intake creep up, I get lazy with my exercise and then realise when its too late that I have to keep going everyday forever.
You don't need advice from us, you're usually the one giving advice. You can get over a setback :) good luck and merry Christmas :)

[Tanner40]

Thanks HangingBasket! Yeah, it's funny how our minds play tricks on us and we slack off and then comes the little blip. I it's just a blip and I know the things that have caused it. You're so right in saying that it's a practice of tools that we've learned that need to be put in place for a lifetime. Merry Christmas to you too!

[Fishmanpa]

It's like a medicine you need to take every day.

I have a little pill box that has the days of the week and AM/PM compartments. I have to take certain medications once or twice a day. If I stop taking them, I'm sure I'd be Ok for a while but then issues would begin to creep in and I'd be putting my health at risk.

Your tools are your medicine along with any prescriptions you might be on. No different ;) Get back on the horse Tanner and start again ya hear!

Positive thoughts

[Elen]

Hi Tanner

Sorry to hear that you are feeling a bit blippy.

My way of looking at it is that recovery is not a short term thing, it is a lifestyle (thought process) change.

A bit like dieting, if use it as a means to an end the effects are short lived.

If however you make the journey part and parcel of the destination change should be possible.

At least you have caught yourself hun and that is half the battle.

Elen

[MrAndy]

Tanner maybe you need a rest from "trying"
Take care

[HoneyLove]

Hi Tanner, I've been there too, it's normal. You just have to get used to a daily routine of taking care of yourself.

Remember that it's only been a few months of you beginning to get better, and at that stage it's easy to slide backwards quickly if you stopping the things you do to feel better. In a few more months time you might find yourself feeling a lot better and having to work at things less because it comes naturally to you - kind of like learning to drive, eventually, it becomes automatic.

At the moment you're really just at the beginning, so you've got to consciously keep working. But it will get easier in time.

There are some things that you will always need to work at, like regular relaxation practice and keeping check on your reactions/emotions. But overall it will get easier.

[Tanner40]

Thanks HoneyLove! Absolutely so true. I am just at the beginning again and it's normal to get off track. For some reason, I feel better and quit working at it, and then bam. I'm right back on the horse, as Fishmanpa said, and am doing my normal routine of things again, starting today.

I do have to keep check on my reactions and emotions as they can undo me. When I let my frustration take over, I am no longer putting myself or my health first.

Thanks to everyone that has replied. You all help me more than you know.

[HoneyLove]

I've had the same thing happen with this vestibular migraine issue I have. Every time I start feeling better I try to go back to living my life the way I used to. I stop paying attention to all the important stuff and without fail I always end up being slapped in the face with a big flare up of symptoms again!

I don't know why I do it, but I know all my dizzy friends have struggled with the same thing. It's hard to get used to the 'new normal', you really just want your old life back. But I'm learning that with some things it's just not possible to go back.

I think it happens with anxiety because somewhere inside there will always be a little part of us that fears the anxiety every coming back full force again. So in a way once we have been affected with an anxiety disorder we need to take care of ourselves so that the tiny kernel of fear never gets an excuse to blow up and affect us. It's almost like we become easier to scare, so we have to make sure we live a lifestyle that keeps us calm, if that makes sense?

In a way it's not a bad thing because it simply means that we're making an effort to live in a peaceful and happy way, but sometimes it'd be nice just to go back to the way things used to be. I hate that I will always have to protect myself against anxiety, I will always have to be vigilant of my own mind, but learning to accept that and be caring towards myself is really not a bad way to live.

Glad you're feeling a little better now anyway, back up on the horse again :)