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Inverkeithing
27-12-13, 10:31
Hi, apologies if in wrong area here.

I have been on Citalopram on and off for seven years after losing my best friend very young and in tragic circumstances. I wasn't strong enough to cope.

Seven weeks ago I came off them again as thought I was ready. I wasn't. In these seven weeks I have pushed my wife and 4 kids away (they move out tomorrow) and started on Mirtazapine. I took them for 4 days but felt awful. So numb, so on a different planet. Almost worse than depression in many ways. Plus I was so irritable that I stopped taking on Xmas day as I ruined what will probably be our last "normal" Xmas day together.

Not taken anything last few days but have enough of Citalopram and Mirtazapine left that I could start taking either of them at my normal dosage. Need to take one or the other as I feel so exposed without either of them that I can't stop feeling teary and suicidal. At same time I don't want to feel as spaced as I was on Mirtazapine as it's not real and sick of being artificially happy/content.

Not really asking for advice as such, just hoping as I had read so many helpful comments on other threads that this might be 1) helpful to vent (I have trouble sharing feelings) and 2) that someone may have had a similar medication dilemma.

Thanks x

annie54
27-12-13, 11:23
Hi,
I am going through a rough time now with health , I am on Prozac tablets now
for a few years, was on citaopram at first, did not agree with me. but like
you I know this feeling that you are o.k. and know deep down your not is
always there.
I think I have changed as well as a person. on these drugs. although
it saved me killing myself. suicidal again now. health worries but trying
to fight it with what strength I have left. just tired of everything.
sorry if I am bringing you more down. not all black for you there will
be other xmas's , and other days, when our minds let us think differently so
a small glimmer of light is always there , maybe not today, but tomorrow or even
a month. take it slow hour by hour.
Annie

Sparkle1984
27-12-13, 11:29
Maybe you can ask your doctor if you can switch back to citalopram if you're not so keen on mirtazapine. Do you know why they switched you from cit to mirt in the first place?