Anyone Have Ideas?

[Volvoman50]

Hi there I have GAD and am currently having counselling for this. I worry about anxiety so have anxiety about anything however I am getting on with things using acceptance and positive thinking. My counsellor asked me a question I am finding hard to answer other than to say I want to be in control of myself and when having anxiety don't think I am. His question was "I think you know why you have anxiety even you don't at the moment, you just don't want to ask yourself the question yet". This has been a real tough question which is a bit to deep for me anyone ever been asked this type of question?

[Edie]

I hate that type of question. Always makes me feel like I'm somehow being blamed for my illness. Of course if you mention that then they say, "well you only feel like that because you have low self-esteem," which makes me feel even worse.

Anxiety can develop as a result of circumstances, but it's an illness that can develop just because as well.

Unless there's some real obvious factor causing your anxiety, such as being stuck in some kind of difficult circumstances, then knowing the cause isn't really helpful anyway. Bit of a waste of time delving into psychoanalysis when you could be using the time to learn some valuable coping skills instead.

[loreen]

I agree with Edie.

It is far more useful to learn coping skills,rather than try to blame something or someone for your anxiety.

I will always have low self esteem, and no amount of counselling with cure that .Some of the questions they ask are just too intense,and make you feel even more anxious.

My anxiety is part of me,and learning to control it is how I deal with it. I would rather be sensitive and aware,than cold and distant !!

Loreen x

[nutjob85]

I always get the feeling my CBT therapist is working from a text book and doesn't really want to off topic. He certainly doesn't feel comfortable talking about my bipolar and has said on numerous occasions he knows very little about it. Thats the main issue I have with CBT, the anxiety I suffer is very much entwined with my bipolar. Its quite obvious, to me at least, that therapists really don't know much more than they have been taught

[Volvoman50]

Thanks for all these posts and it has helped me to agree its a question to be ignored; yes if it is obvious that circumstances play a part then examine that and look to find the way forward; if not work to accept things and move forward with your anxiety. These "deep" questions which can have any number of answers and how do you know which answer is right don't help. I must say other than this question he has been very helpful so far.

[Rennie1989]

It's a clever ploy, he's making you look deeper into your mind and thoughts so YOU can find the cause of the anxiety. A psychiatrist, consellor and therapist can't do that for you, only you can. In doing so you learn a lot about yourself.

Can I just say to everyone, he's not blaming Volvoman for having anxiety, let's not jump on the bandwagon shall we ;)

[relda]

Gosh, that is a deep question. I guess deep down somewhere something has triggered anxiety although in my own case I really can't think what!
Somewhere I've also read that some are born anxious.

Xxx

[Rennie1989]

Relda - it's still inconclusive whether anxiety and depressive disorders are inherited, genetic disease, learned or developed. Which makes our quest for recovery ever more difficult ;)

[Volvoman50]

Thanks Rennie my youngest daughter has been having some panic attacks but she is the only 1 of 4 that has had this issue her main health issue is self harming which she is getting counselling for. Yes I think my therapist is trying to get me to look into myself to find the triggers which I think seem to be about loss of control and being the main income provider/someone who should always be strong but even then I am not sure if that's correct as I said so many potential answers! I am not knocking the counsellor as he is helping me and I am grateful for that; it was I found this question so difficult to answer which is why I posted for ideas and suggestions. Thanks all!

[phil6]

I believe that all number of things can cause worry, or anxiety, or even panic. These may initially caused by some external stress....anything which shocks or frightens.
But I believe the vast majority of anxiety disorders is then just one step away... If you become concerned or frightened of the state you find yourself in then you add fear. The second fear.
If this 2nd fear is not added, in other words you feel fear and that's all, then the emotion quickly passes.
Once this has been added, the anxiety loop is closed.
Fear= bodily sensations = second fear which reinforces the bodily sensations and so it goes on. 2nd fear can be identified by "oh my xxxx", "what if" and other negative thoughts.
It's a few days of living in this loop which forms the habit, and the body becomes sensitised, that is, responds quickly and out of proportion, like a well oiled machine.
We can all see how easy it is to get trapped and tricked. Breaking the loop, in other words not adding 2nd fear (not being concerned about the way you feel) breaks it.
Easy eh!
Lol
Fighting, resisting, working it all out rarely does anything other than keeps you in the loop. This us what fear makes us want to do....which it is really hard to resist.
The best advise I ever read was, you won't recover until you give up trying to recover.... Paradox.
Phil

[Fishmanpa]

Good for you to be taking the bull by the horns and getting treatment for your anxiety. Having had counseling for depression, I've been asked that question. The answer was something I revealed in speaking about my situation and feelings. It wasn't pleasant to face the reality of the answer, but one I had to confront in order to move past it and subsequently recover.

Search your heart for what you may have said or feel and perhaps you'll find the answer. While I feel there were some good points made in response to your OP, I don't think you would have been asked that question if he didn't think you could answer it.

Positive thoughts

[Fearfree]

Someone once told me that anxiety is repressed anger. Is there something in your life that you are angry about, but are afraid to let it come out? Can be current or in the past.
Just a thought.....

[Rennie1989]

Thanks Rennie my youngest daughter has been having some panic attacks but she is the only 1 of 4 that has had this issue her main health issue is self harming which she is getting counselling for. Yes I think my therapist is trying to get me to look into myself to find the triggers which I think seem to be about loss of control and being the main income provider/someone who should always be strong but even then I am not sure if that's correct as I said so many potential answers! I am not knocking the counsellor as he is helping me and I am grateful for that; it was I found this question so difficult to answer which is why I posted for ideas and suggestions. Thanks all!

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter and glad to hear that she is getting the help she deserves. She has a caring father/mother (sorry, don't know your gender) which is lovely to see, she is very lucky :)

[Volvoman50]

Yes I too have heard that quote and am looking to follow the advice and accept how I am and go with my life. Happy New Year all!!