today..

[Pet59]

Well after a long 7 months, I will finally get to bury my husband today. Although he was cremated in June a few weeks after his accident, his remains couldnt be buried because the cemetery was doing and expansion. I have known for the past 8 months that at least he is still there, if that makes any sense, but after today, I will have nothing of him except a piece of his hair and moustache. Ive had the first summer without him, my 35th birthday, our 11 year anniversary from when we met, our 3 year engagement anniversary, just had my first Christmas and the next first is his birthday in january.

Im cross. His driver,where he was working, fell asleep at the wheel. All along he had claimed debris on the road that made him swerve. He has now, last week, admitted he fell asleep but not to the authorities. He had a broken hand. My husband is dead. I couldnt even see him to say goodbye because his injuries were so horrific.

I dont even know why im writing this. Maybe by putting it down will help me, help my fear, my anxiety. Maybe by putting him to rest today I will be able to draw a line and move on but in doing so I am so afraid I will forget him. Forget his laugh. His voice. His smile. His silly ways.his rants. His eyes.

Married at 33, widowed at 34. I miss him.

[lfc65]

Oh sweetheart I don't know what to say to you. I cannot imagine being in your position. Life dan be so terribly cruel and unfair. Today is a milestone in your grieving process that you will get through but it is still relatively early days and you must be kind to yourself and take the grieving at your pace. You will move forward eventually but of course you will never forget him, he will always be with you in your heart. I hope you have plenty of loved ones around you helping you through xx

[Daisy Sue]

Oh I'm so sorry for your sadness. Your words are almost identical to mine some years ago - it wasn't my husband I lost but 3 very close family members in the space of 18 months. It's not simply the loss, it's the feeling lost too.

Writing everything down helped me.. my feelings, the good memories, the sad ones, and if ever I feel I need to touch base, I re-read it all.

There aren't any words or actions that anyone else can give to make you feel different or better, you will adjust in time, and don't worry - you never forget someone you've loved that much, no matter how many years go by.

Wishing you all the best for today, & I hope it will be a milestone for you, & easier days are ahead.

[Beth28]

Glad you let your sadness out. Sending you hugs

[Leslie735]

I'm so so so sorry for your loss!!! I will be keeping you in my prayers *hugs* feel free to express your feelings on here if it helps you. *hugs*

[Andrash]

I lost my very good friend to a car accident some years ago. I know it can’t be compared, but I know the feeling. I really feel for you. And rest assured-you will never ever forget him. At least you should not worry about that-the memory will always stay with you and will find you at unexpected times and places.

My sincerest condolances, A.

[cattia]

I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this. I do believe that awful as this is, it's an important step for you to take. I can't imagine how you must be feeling, there are no words for it, especially finding out that the driver fell asleep which must make it seem even more awful. Have you had any bereavement counselling? I know you are living overseas as I remember from your last post, do you habe friends and family around you for support? Much love Xx

[HappySadPunkDude]

Sorry for your loss.

[Mrs Anxious]

So sorry for your loss I read your post and felt foolish and selfish with my worries in comparison to yours, there are no words to express how sorry I am for your loss I hope that u will finally be able to move forward in the grieving process now you are able to lay your husband to rest, my thoughts are with you and I am sending massive virtual hugs to you, take care xxxxx

[Tanner40]

I hope that you find some peace today. I'm very sorry for your loss.