adellic
28-12-13, 09:32
Hi everyone out there in NMP land
So I've moved on from my heart fears and have now picked up a fear of seizures...great.
Now I apologise in advance to anybody reading who is actually effected by this, but I need to write it out somewhere as I'm going a bit crazy with it all in my head :unsure:
Anywho, this all started when I saw a guy crash his car through our neighbours fence due to a seizure, luckily he was ok but it got my old anxy mind thinking "ohhh no, what if that happens to me" and pretty much from that day on it's been buzzing around in my head, I think that I'm going to have a seizure and possibly die. (So scared, I'm only 23 and I have a little boy - this is what worries me, I don't want to leave him yet!!) :weep:
I told my doc and he did some tests with me, checked my eyes/reflexes/strength ect and nothing wrong there, said he would write to nureo if that's what I wanted, for reassurance, but he was pretty adamant that I am a very low risk (no family history or past history of anything like this).
So I was ok after this, but then big ol nasty anxy comes along and starts giving me headaches (omg this is the start of one), dizziness (oh crap this is it) and plays all sorts of tricks (did I just see a white light in my eye, oh crap now I'm really bout to drop, oh heck what's that ringing in my ears?, oh man now I have a headache in my temple, what's funny taste in my mouth it is probably just phlem but what if it's a "sign") - ppl with HA will know what I mean.
So yeah, it's really messed me up and I am now pretty run down, I just went on holiday from work for Xmas and broke out in users, glands swell up, tired as, just generally feeling sick and crap. Everyone's telling me it's the stress from all this worry, which I don't doubt it is, but it still scares me and the thoughts about seizures still try and chip away at me, my thoughts are making me think that because I'm thinking about it all the time it's going to happen arrrg :doh:.
I'm even now having trouble sleeping, like I twitch and stuff which wakes me up in a panic, and I'm scared to sleep, I never used to be like this, even with panic attacks, sleep was my escape.
It's made me so depressed that I have been crying everyday, have had to take a couple nights break away from home as I need to pull myself together (I have a three yo son I don't want seeing me like this).
Sorry for such a long winded rant but I feel better when I get it out somewhere where there may be people that can relate and offer some reassurance...
I know I'll beat this, someday soon, cos this is no life to live!!
Take care all and thanks for reading
Adellic x
So I've moved on from my heart fears and have now picked up a fear of seizures...great.
Now I apologise in advance to anybody reading who is actually effected by this, but I need to write it out somewhere as I'm going a bit crazy with it all in my head :unsure:
Anywho, this all started when I saw a guy crash his car through our neighbours fence due to a seizure, luckily he was ok but it got my old anxy mind thinking "ohhh no, what if that happens to me" and pretty much from that day on it's been buzzing around in my head, I think that I'm going to have a seizure and possibly die. (So scared, I'm only 23 and I have a little boy - this is what worries me, I don't want to leave him yet!!) :weep:
I told my doc and he did some tests with me, checked my eyes/reflexes/strength ect and nothing wrong there, said he would write to nureo if that's what I wanted, for reassurance, but he was pretty adamant that I am a very low risk (no family history or past history of anything like this).
So I was ok after this, but then big ol nasty anxy comes along and starts giving me headaches (omg this is the start of one), dizziness (oh crap this is it) and plays all sorts of tricks (did I just see a white light in my eye, oh crap now I'm really bout to drop, oh heck what's that ringing in my ears?, oh man now I have a headache in my temple, what's funny taste in my mouth it is probably just phlem but what if it's a "sign") - ppl with HA will know what I mean.
So yeah, it's really messed me up and I am now pretty run down, I just went on holiday from work for Xmas and broke out in users, glands swell up, tired as, just generally feeling sick and crap. Everyone's telling me it's the stress from all this worry, which I don't doubt it is, but it still scares me and the thoughts about seizures still try and chip away at me, my thoughts are making me think that because I'm thinking about it all the time it's going to happen arrrg :doh:.
I'm even now having trouble sleeping, like I twitch and stuff which wakes me up in a panic, and I'm scared to sleep, I never used to be like this, even with panic attacks, sleep was my escape.
It's made me so depressed that I have been crying everyday, have had to take a couple nights break away from home as I need to pull myself together (I have a three yo son I don't want seeing me like this).
Sorry for such a long winded rant but I feel better when I get it out somewhere where there may be people that can relate and offer some reassurance...
I know I'll beat this, someday soon, cos this is no life to live!!
Take care all and thanks for reading
Adellic x