Dobbiedoo
28-12-13, 15:45
Hi
I'm new to this forum having now accepted that I'm suffering from health anxiety and it's an awful state to be in.
I never worried too much about my health in the past. I've always been fit and healthy and had no major illnesses. My problems started about 8 weeks ago, although it had probably been brewing for some time following the death of a close friend from cancer a couple of years ago and learning that one of the mums at my children's school had died from bowel cancer earlier in the year. Add to that the fact that I'm in my mid forties and its dawned on me that the chances of getting cancer or some other horrible disease is more likely the older I get.
My husband had health anxiety about 10 years ago and was tested for pretty much every cancer you can think of, so much so that our private health insurance won't cover him for anything anxiety related now, as every time he was tested it was always anxiety and nothing more sinister! Ironically, he is more or less ok now and I really wish I'd been more patient with him as now it's my turn......
A couple of months ago I started getting bleeding in between periods, the most scary symptom I'd ever had. I googled, scared myself to death and quickly found myself in a very anxious state convincing myself I had womb cancer, losing half a stone in a couple of weeks. Anyway, I had a scan and all they found was fibroids which the doctor believes is responsible for the bleeding. They are being removed next week, although I won't breath easy until it's all over and I've confirmation that all is well.
While all the above was going on I also noticed that I often have a small amount of white mucous in my stools. I actually first noticed about 6 months ago but thought nothing of it as I didn't have health anxiety then. However, in the light of my womb cancer scare I started thinking deeper about it and started googling like mad. Of course, bowel cancer comes up frequently, although most of my googling tells me that small amounts of mucous alone are not likely to be cancer, it's only when you have larger amounts and have other symptoms (I have no other symptoms). But that still doesn't reassure me. To make matters worse, I have a family history of bowel cancer (dad aged 59, his uncle in his 50s and aunt in her 70s). I did mention the mucous and asked my doctor about screening but she seemed unconcerned and said I didn't meet the criteria for screening (relatives not close enough apparently?!?!). I was told I wouldn't be eligible for screening until 60. I was more concerned about the womb cancer issue at the time so let it go.
However, since then I've become increasingly worried about the prospect of having bowel cancer to the point I'm barely functioning as I can't concentrate on anything and all I want to do is google and read the same old sites for reassurance. I'm wasting away my time at home for the xmas holidays and feel sorry for my kids as I have no interest in doing anything with them, going on outings, meeting friends etc like we normally do. I decided that once my fibroid op was over, I'd go back to the doctors and ask to be referred to a gastroenterologist.
However, things came to a head last night. I went to the toilet and passed a bit more mucous than normal which really panicked me although I'd been in such an anxious state all day I know it had affected my bowels (I normally only go once a day in the morning). I didn't sleep all night for worrying, although that's not unusual of late. I've decided I'm now going to go back to the doctor on Monday and insist that I be referred for a colonoscopy as it's the only way I'm going to be reassured (assuming nothing sinister is found that is!). I have private insurance so presumably they can't refuse, right??
Thanks for listening to my ramblings, it feels better to write it all down. I'm so annoyed with myself for getting into this state but just can't help myself. I should be having a lovely life with my husband, kids, nice home etc, but frankly at the moment life's just sh*t :-( Health anxiety sucks!
I'm new to this forum having now accepted that I'm suffering from health anxiety and it's an awful state to be in.
I never worried too much about my health in the past. I've always been fit and healthy and had no major illnesses. My problems started about 8 weeks ago, although it had probably been brewing for some time following the death of a close friend from cancer a couple of years ago and learning that one of the mums at my children's school had died from bowel cancer earlier in the year. Add to that the fact that I'm in my mid forties and its dawned on me that the chances of getting cancer or some other horrible disease is more likely the older I get.
My husband had health anxiety about 10 years ago and was tested for pretty much every cancer you can think of, so much so that our private health insurance won't cover him for anything anxiety related now, as every time he was tested it was always anxiety and nothing more sinister! Ironically, he is more or less ok now and I really wish I'd been more patient with him as now it's my turn......
A couple of months ago I started getting bleeding in between periods, the most scary symptom I'd ever had. I googled, scared myself to death and quickly found myself in a very anxious state convincing myself I had womb cancer, losing half a stone in a couple of weeks. Anyway, I had a scan and all they found was fibroids which the doctor believes is responsible for the bleeding. They are being removed next week, although I won't breath easy until it's all over and I've confirmation that all is well.
While all the above was going on I also noticed that I often have a small amount of white mucous in my stools. I actually first noticed about 6 months ago but thought nothing of it as I didn't have health anxiety then. However, in the light of my womb cancer scare I started thinking deeper about it and started googling like mad. Of course, bowel cancer comes up frequently, although most of my googling tells me that small amounts of mucous alone are not likely to be cancer, it's only when you have larger amounts and have other symptoms (I have no other symptoms). But that still doesn't reassure me. To make matters worse, I have a family history of bowel cancer (dad aged 59, his uncle in his 50s and aunt in her 70s). I did mention the mucous and asked my doctor about screening but she seemed unconcerned and said I didn't meet the criteria for screening (relatives not close enough apparently?!?!). I was told I wouldn't be eligible for screening until 60. I was more concerned about the womb cancer issue at the time so let it go.
However, since then I've become increasingly worried about the prospect of having bowel cancer to the point I'm barely functioning as I can't concentrate on anything and all I want to do is google and read the same old sites for reassurance. I'm wasting away my time at home for the xmas holidays and feel sorry for my kids as I have no interest in doing anything with them, going on outings, meeting friends etc like we normally do. I decided that once my fibroid op was over, I'd go back to the doctors and ask to be referred to a gastroenterologist.
However, things came to a head last night. I went to the toilet and passed a bit more mucous than normal which really panicked me although I'd been in such an anxious state all day I know it had affected my bowels (I normally only go once a day in the morning). I didn't sleep all night for worrying, although that's not unusual of late. I've decided I'm now going to go back to the doctor on Monday and insist that I be referred for a colonoscopy as it's the only way I'm going to be reassured (assuming nothing sinister is found that is!). I have private insurance so presumably they can't refuse, right??
Thanks for listening to my ramblings, it feels better to write it all down. I'm so annoyed with myself for getting into this state but just can't help myself. I should be having a lovely life with my husband, kids, nice home etc, but frankly at the moment life's just sh*t :-( Health anxiety sucks!