what sucks!!!!

[mooks]

heres a breakdown of how I feel tonight..
what sucks:
to scared to go to bed coz you dont want to wake up with that dreaded panic...your alone as everyone else is asleep..

GP's who really dont know what you are going through

looking at other people and thinking 'why are they ok..and not me'

trying to stop the negative thoughts and future worries about soemthing that may never happen

having people tell you to 'stop worrying and focus on the good things' Ha if it were that simple

Your hair looking like a haybarn and your skin sallow as its an effort to look good...

The fact that 'celebraties' have the money to sort their 'minds' out and we rely on 8 month waiting lists.....

Avoiding good friends and eventually losing them and not being able to make new ones coz you feel so abnormal

Internet sites that sell books and teqnique tips that really dont work just prey on us lot desparate for a 'cure'

Having to accept that is never going to go away and given that your a long time dead...is this is what life is going to be like when others 'live to the full'

yes Im on a doomer as really sick of this illness....

[classiclady]

I know how you feel. I am going through issues at the moment that I know if I don't sort out the issues i will end up ill again, I am already stressed. My problem seems to be I cannot judge who is a genuine. You can read my post on this forum.

I've been ill twice now with depression down to work so i felt i had to leave both jobs which made me feel better however I haven't delt with my illness beacuse as soon as i come under pressure I crack so I still have a long way to go but atleast I can spot when i am going down hill.

Good luck and use this board when you need to as I find it helps

[nomorepanic]

Ok let me try and answer a few of these....


<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">to scared to go to bed coz you dont want to wake up with that dreaded panic...your alone as everyone else is asleep.. </td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Try to make sure that you are as relaxed as you can be when you go to bed. Listen to a relaxation tape last thing and that should help calm the mind and sleep better.


<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote"> GP's who really dont know what you are going through </td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

It is hard to find a good GP who not only understands panic/anxiety but is also prepared to help you through the problems. You will probably get more support from here than most GP's.


<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote"> looking at other people and thinking 'why are they ok..and not me'</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Everyone has their issues so try not to see them as ok and you are not. I used to look at people and think I wish I could feel normal like them but how did I know they were healthy and happy ?


<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">trying to stop the negative thoughts and future worries about soemthing that may never happen</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

You said it exactly right there. Worrying about things that may never happen. I am a great believer in what will be will be.


<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">having people tell you to 'stop worrying and focus on the good things' Ha if it were that simple</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

It is not easy I agree but just try to think of things that are good in your life and things that you are grateful for. If we think bad things then bad things seem to happen. Positive thoughts go a long way.


<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Your hair looking like a haybarn and your skin sallow as its an effort to look good...</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Make sure you are eating well - loads of fruit and veg and some extra vitamin supplements - a mutli vitamin and a vitamin B complex.


<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">The fact that 'celebraties' have the money to sort their 'minds' out and we rely on 8 month waiting lists.....</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Yes and it is a shame they don't think to help others out with their wealth! The NHS waiting lists are awful I agree.

<blockq

[Fly2Freedom]

You have described how Im feeling perfectly.



Love & light to you x

[LickeyEndBlues]

H Mooks

I'm sure everyone can relate one way or another to what you say, and you Fly, but as Classiclady and Nicola say there is loads of support, help and advice in here.

Use posting and replying as much as you can, drop into chat (I know it sometimes feels like a closed shop buy "Hi" usually works and if chat is too much thee are folkswho will happily PM with you on whatever.

The big thing is......you are not alone.

Take care

Iain

Laissez les bon temp roulez

[yorkylover]

Hey Mooks,Iv been feeling pretty similar the last few days pet.And so have alot of others here to.Your not alone pet.;)

Ellen XX

[scaredycat2001]

don't give up mooks
i think we've all been where you are at one time or another. try to remember that people really do care and keep posting. things really can get better.

scaredycat

[looking4answers]

Know the feeling...

Too scared to sleep till you get so tired you cant avoid it and at that stage death seems a welcome thought.

Having a gp that understands but rushes you out of her office after you told her you were feeling dizzy and she just told you that you have a murmur that you didn't know you had.Your blood pressure is way up in the office and she says don't worry it will go back down when you leave ,then you call back and ask if you should up your blood pressure medicine and they say no just come by again and have it checked..yeah like I want to do that .I couldnt walk or drive from stress for an hour after I went to her office the first time..
Then worried for a month until you go to the ent that something is serious wrong ,and then have the ent just say I agree with her diagnosis and you don't really need test its just you lost so much weight that you loss the padding around your ear...

Waking up thinking I made it through another sleep just to realize its another day of worrying about that pounding in your head and the way your heart sounds..although if your head was pounding you wouldn't notice it but the ent says there is nothing he can do.

Then realizing that the daytime you woke up to is actually night and there is 3 inches of snow on the ground and the wind is gusting up to 50 miles an hour and your wondering if something happened would 911 come out this far and if so could they find you ,,

Then after being up and looking outside in the dark you realize that your mate just doesn't want to wake and you are pretty much alone with your fears.. and that maybe you should just go back to sleep and thinking..whats the point of life.. sleeping.. I never was like that before..I know that I need the sleep but im tired of this..

Then after your mate finally gains conciouness you are afraid to tell her that you are not feeling right..she is going to say the doctor says different .So you go eat a little and think ill go to the doctor but you keep thinking she has just blown you off thinking your symptoms were related to depression and put you on zoloft.

Then you sit and wonder how life is going to be and start trying to see how you are going to feel slipping deeper and deeper into depression and worry . because you wonder if your life is ever going to get better..Then worry about your blood pressure and the sound of your pulse but refuse to get a blood presure measure equiptment because you are frieghtened that you will scare yourself to death..then as you keep hearing your pulse it doesn't sound right but you had a cardiologist tell you that if you had afib then its not a perfect pulse as you described that it usually gets around 100 for awhile..so you wonder what is wrong with me..I never felt like this before..

Its 10 degrees outside if you leave the heat off you freeze but if you turn it on you are sweating and freezing at the sametime wondering if your blood pressure is up but you couldn't understand how it could be when you can barely feel your pulse and its normal.

You wait for awhile staying in bed until you can't stand it anymore thinking you are losing your mind because no one lives like this.or you don't think so ..then you think back about the sleep you had thinking I felt as though I was dreaming but in reality and wonder if that crushing head ache and that electric jolt you had in your head was that artery you have been wondering about busting..

Then you finally get up eat and then your heart starts pounding in your ears again and you can hear every little beat or misbeat and wonder if that was because of what you ate or you just hear your heartbeat more when you eat and wonder if your blood pressure is up...

Then you watch a little television but constantly in a state of worry about your heart and how you feel you can't really concentrate on the show ,then you come back to the computer post a few questions on here and worry some more..

Finally you start having chest pains and weird sensations in your body and feel like you can't breath but thinking its because I