Mrs Anxious
29-12-13, 12:06
Hi all
Some of you may of read my posts so even tho I'm asking the question I'm pretty sure it's HA... But what if it's not this time?? I just can't differentiate between the 2 lately I just feel like crap all the time I do definitely have low iron and blood pressure that's a fact so why am I analysing all the time... "Why do I have low iron, why do I have low bp" etc... I am convinced my bp will drop so low my heart will just stop, I know it's sounds ridiculous but I just literally cannot help it, I feel like I am going to have a panic attack all the time and it's a constant daily battle, I gave up smoking but my anxiety and depression were so bad I have been smoking again for the past 2 weeks which I know won't help, in fact it's making my anxiety worse.
I am irritable ALL the time no one can even talk to me without me biting their heads off because I am so selfishly consumed with my anxieties about my health, my depression And the intrusive horrible thoughts I have been having...
I have started meditation in the last few days it's not helping yet particularly but it is early days and trying to find the time to relax on my own for 10 mins to do it is hard in itself, I hate the feeling of impending doom that I am going to die soon it's scary and I just want to know what's causing it? Am I going mad am I ill or am I just anxious? It's a minefield I wish I had the money to do CBT privately because I had NHS CBT 3 sessions at our local clinic and I just didn't get on with it.
Also, I feel if I say something out loud it won't come true like I will say to my husband " you don't think I have cancer do you" and when he says no of course not it gives me such a sense of relief for a few minutes what the heck is all that about? Sorry for the ramble just having a really bad day today xx
Some of you may of read my posts so even tho I'm asking the question I'm pretty sure it's HA... But what if it's not this time?? I just can't differentiate between the 2 lately I just feel like crap all the time I do definitely have low iron and blood pressure that's a fact so why am I analysing all the time... "Why do I have low iron, why do I have low bp" etc... I am convinced my bp will drop so low my heart will just stop, I know it's sounds ridiculous but I just literally cannot help it, I feel like I am going to have a panic attack all the time and it's a constant daily battle, I gave up smoking but my anxiety and depression were so bad I have been smoking again for the past 2 weeks which I know won't help, in fact it's making my anxiety worse.
I am irritable ALL the time no one can even talk to me without me biting their heads off because I am so selfishly consumed with my anxieties about my health, my depression And the intrusive horrible thoughts I have been having...
I have started meditation in the last few days it's not helping yet particularly but it is early days and trying to find the time to relax on my own for 10 mins to do it is hard in itself, I hate the feeling of impending doom that I am going to die soon it's scary and I just want to know what's causing it? Am I going mad am I ill or am I just anxious? It's a minefield I wish I had the money to do CBT privately because I had NHS CBT 3 sessions at our local clinic and I just didn't get on with it.
Also, I feel if I say something out loud it won't come true like I will say to my husband " you don't think I have cancer do you" and when he says no of course not it gives me such a sense of relief for a few minutes what the heck is all that about? Sorry for the ramble just having a really bad day today xx