Worrywart
14-11-06, 01:11
Hi Everyone,
I have been searching OCD message boards like crazy and feel that this one has the most to offer with people like me! Not to bore you, but I will give you a little of my background! I have suffered with OCD for years (self diagnosis). Since I was a kid I would obsess over EVERYTHING!!! I needed constant reassurance about God, death, etc. I moved on to counting repetively and then touching things over and over again! I was constantly nervous and would ask my mom things many times to get reassurance! As I grew older, I had the fear of germs (mildly) and hair! Things would taper off for awhile and then start up again! I then later started with the "obsessive thoughts!" I hate those more than anything!!!! I was one of those people that if I heard it then I must have it or be it! I went through the "being gay" phase, harming someone or an animal phase, sexual incest phase etc. I also went through the hypochondriac phase...BADLY!!! I thought I had every disease that was mentioned around me! I was big on cancer for awhile! I was obsessed with my breathing pattern! Well, now I have a child (the greatest thing in my life)! I cannot tell you how much joy he has brought to my life. I did suffer the postpartum depression thing for a few weeks, but surprisingly it did go away! Things were fine UNTIL I watched a freaking episode of Dr. Phil about a pedophile and OF COURSE I find myself wondering "what if that is me?" I cannot even believe something like that would EVER cross my mind! I could never fathom doing anything like that BUT just like everything else in my life it is now my new obsession! How can I deal with this? I cannot have this OCD in my life right now! I was happy!!!!! I LOVE my child!!!! How do I make this stop? I went to the library to get some good books I have heard about and am going to start reading them! Will this pass? I just needed to get this off of my chest! Has anyone else suffered from this?
I have been searching OCD message boards like crazy and feel that this one has the most to offer with people like me! Not to bore you, but I will give you a little of my background! I have suffered with OCD for years (self diagnosis). Since I was a kid I would obsess over EVERYTHING!!! I needed constant reassurance about God, death, etc. I moved on to counting repetively and then touching things over and over again! I was constantly nervous and would ask my mom things many times to get reassurance! As I grew older, I had the fear of germs (mildly) and hair! Things would taper off for awhile and then start up again! I then later started with the "obsessive thoughts!" I hate those more than anything!!!! I was one of those people that if I heard it then I must have it or be it! I went through the "being gay" phase, harming someone or an animal phase, sexual incest phase etc. I also went through the hypochondriac phase...BADLY!!! I thought I had every disease that was mentioned around me! I was big on cancer for awhile! I was obsessed with my breathing pattern! Well, now I have a child (the greatest thing in my life)! I cannot tell you how much joy he has brought to my life. I did suffer the postpartum depression thing for a few weeks, but surprisingly it did go away! Things were fine UNTIL I watched a freaking episode of Dr. Phil about a pedophile and OF COURSE I find myself wondering "what if that is me?" I cannot even believe something like that would EVER cross my mind! I could never fathom doing anything like that BUT just like everything else in my life it is now my new obsession! How can I deal with this? I cannot have this OCD in my life right now! I was happy!!!!! I LOVE my child!!!! How do I make this stop? I went to the library to get some good books I have heard about and am going to start reading them! Will this pass? I just needed to get this off of my chest! Has anyone else suffered from this?