Melissaxo
30-12-13, 05:32
Hi all, I'm new so I'm sorry if I am not posting in the right place.
I've had anxiety and depression for about ten years now... at first, the only thing I could identify with was depression. My dad had just died, I was self harming at least 50 times a day, and that's all I really focused on. But as I started to get a little bit less depressed, I started having panic attacks. I didn't know what they were or anything, but I was terrified.
Then around 16 (I'm almost 24 now) I got strep throat. I thought it was a cold, I didn't go to the doctor for about a month. Anyway, because of that I had a hard time recuperating from it. That is when I started having the major, daily panic attacks. That part of my life lasted about 5 years.
Now, I don't get the full blown panic attacks daily. (yay!)
But I am so fearful of getting sick, or dying that my life is still a wreck. My legs hurt from working all day, it's a blood clot. I have a minor headache, it's a tumour. I'm sure lots of you know what I'm feeling lol. I'm terrified of death, and not knowing what is going to happen to me after, that I can't actually live my life fully.
I don't know what to do! Or how to get any better! I've tried therapy and medication, I've tried going to my fiance or family for help and nothing works. I'm sorry for the long post, but I'm wondering if anyone has any tips, or advice. I'm so scared and upset all the time and I'm tired of it.
Thanks for reading.
-Melissa
I've had anxiety and depression for about ten years now... at first, the only thing I could identify with was depression. My dad had just died, I was self harming at least 50 times a day, and that's all I really focused on. But as I started to get a little bit less depressed, I started having panic attacks. I didn't know what they were or anything, but I was terrified.
Then around 16 (I'm almost 24 now) I got strep throat. I thought it was a cold, I didn't go to the doctor for about a month. Anyway, because of that I had a hard time recuperating from it. That is when I started having the major, daily panic attacks. That part of my life lasted about 5 years.
Now, I don't get the full blown panic attacks daily. (yay!)
But I am so fearful of getting sick, or dying that my life is still a wreck. My legs hurt from working all day, it's a blood clot. I have a minor headache, it's a tumour. I'm sure lots of you know what I'm feeling lol. I'm terrified of death, and not knowing what is going to happen to me after, that I can't actually live my life fully.
I don't know what to do! Or how to get any better! I've tried therapy and medication, I've tried going to my fiance or family for help and nothing works. I'm sorry for the long post, but I'm wondering if anyone has any tips, or advice. I'm so scared and upset all the time and I'm tired of it.
Thanks for reading.
-Melissa