Please help! Had a major breakdown/panic attack

[Katiex]

I have been under immense pressure these last few months mainly with the constant bad behaviour of my two children and the fact that they only drop off to sleep at 3am no matter what time I get them up the next day ( I have tried literally everything to the point that I called social services for help because I was scared that they were pushing me too far and they said they couldn't help) I've also had bad financial problems and been in and out of hospital for firstly speech loss and confusion due to what I think is migraines and also quite a scary gynaecological problem that I may need an operation for. I am also waiting to see a neurologist for the suspected migraines. I am unable to take antidepressants because my skin burns when I am on them.

Christmas was especially hard as I was helping my sister with a massive problem.

My depression and anxiety has changed from what I have been used to all these years I have never experienced anything at all like this. Last night it felt like I had been spiked with drugs I felt very very strange, like I was in another world, my whole face felt numb, my jaw felt broken, parts of my body felt like they were out of place and broken, I couldn't breathe my lungs felt raw, my nose felt strange like it was broken inside, my eye felt numb, my face looked drooped on one side but only to myself, I completely lost control to the extreme. I managed somehow to drive to my parents house.

They said my face and lips were white. My mum isn't a touchy feely person but she just held me sobbing and rubbing my back telling me it was ok. My dad made me a cup of tea and told me to breathe into a paper bag.

Now usually a panic attack for me comes and goes in about 15 minutes and I'm pretty much back to normal. These massive and extreme panic attacks were coming in waves it took me 2 hours to settle and calm down to point that I could actually speak again.

I tried to eat something and it set me off again. I was shivering and shaking with fear. I was actually clung to my dad like a child I was so scared.

I was staying at my parents last night but it got to 2am and I had to go home I couldn't sleep.

I feel so fragile today. My breathing still feels strange and I feel I could have a panic attack at any time. I'm really on edge.

I can't really explain how extreme and bad it was I was trying to run out of my parents house to go to hospital and trying to ring an ambulance but my mum had to restrain me.

I have an appointment at the doctors later but I can imagine it will be no help.

Has anyone experienced this? I still feel very strange today.

[kahi35]

hi sorry you are feeling this way. I experienced the same feelings but for different triggers, but it all boils down to anxiety. all I can say is that you have to tell yourself its anxiety and say that after each panic attack your fine afterwards and that I can fight this and you will over come it. be strong minded and you will be ok.

[ippik]

Hi Katiex
Well done for coming on this site. You certainly are dealing with a hell of a lot of issues.... I do know what children are like ...ones who don't sleep...its the hardest thing in the world to deal with an no one wants to help with it.
My 2 sons were the worst!!
My youngest slept through the night a couple of days ago , my wife and I kept checking him thinking something was wrong ....he's 18 !!!
Try to just slow things down a bit and put all the issues into boxes then take a look at what the important first steps should be.
You are dealing with a lot, feel proud of yourself.
Try to get your children into routine, and well exercised, god I know this is tough. Here to listen to you... happy to help if I can. I get the feeling you are a survivor !! You will get through this you are not alone.

[PanchoGoz]

I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles. You are going through a lot and it's understandable you have broken down under the weight on your shoulders.
All I want to say is take care of yourself and do what you can to give yourself a break, accept that you are feeling this way and it will get better with time. These problems come and go and one day you will look back on this time.
The doctor may help, there are many other things other than ADs, not everyone takes them.
Lots of love.

[cymraig_chris]

I have been under immense pressure these last few months mainly with the constant bad behaviour of my two children and the fact that they only drop off to sleep at 3am no matter what time I get them up the next day ( I have tried literally everything to the point that I called social services for help because I was scared that they were pushing me too far and they said they couldn't help) I've also had bad financial problems and been in and out of hospital for firstly speech loss and confusion due to what I think is migraines and also quite a scary gynaecological problem that I may need an operation for. I am also waiting to see a neurologist for the suspected migraines. I am unable to take antidepressants because my skin burns when I am on them.

Christmas was especially hard as I was helping my sister with a massive problem.

My depression and anxiety has changed from what I have been used to all these years I have never experienced anything at all like this. Last night it felt like I had been spiked with drugs I felt very very strange, like I was in another world, my whole face felt numb, my jaw felt broken, parts of my body felt like they were out of place and broken, I couldn't breathe my lungs felt raw, my nose felt strange like it was broken inside, my eye felt numb, my face looked drooped on one side but only to myself, I completely lost control to the extreme. I managed somehow to drive to my parents house.

They said my face and lips were white. My mum isn't a touchy feely person but she just held me sobbing and rubbing my back telling me it was ok. My dad made me a cup of tea and told me to breathe into a paper bag.

Now usually a panic attack for me comes and goes in about 15 minutes and I'm pretty much back to normal. These massive and extreme panic attacks were coming in waves it took me 2 hours to settle and calm down to point that I could actually speak again.

I tried to eat something and it set me off again. I was shivering and shaking with fear. I was actually clung to my dad like a child I was so scared.

I was staying at my parents last night but it got to 2am and I had to go home I couldn't sleep.

I feel so fragile today. My breathing still feels strange and I feel I could have a panic attack at any time. I'm really on edge.

I can't really explain how extreme and bad it was I was trying to run out of my parents house to go to hospital and trying to ring an ambulance but my mum had to restrain me.

I have an appointment at the doctors later but I can imagine it will be no help.

Has anyone experienced this? I still feel very strange today.

Every single thing you describe is normal, completely normal, utterly normal, as normal as normal can be. you are in no danger whatsoever, none, not even a tiny tiny bit. You are completely healthy in body, completely healthy in mind, and completely healthy in spirit.

[trish1955]

Bless you as I was reading g yr thread I felt it all been there to that level and it will calm back down something will just give whenyoj said you was shivering shaking and crying I was like that last Sunday I was sobbing to my son held me and asked wat was wrong I just said I think I am having a break down as like you I have been under a lot of pressure different to yes as my kids are grown ups now but I was a single mjm to three daughters and it was so hard the youngest two were only 18months apart I was so drained I ended up just like you did trust me it will get better take care xxx

[cloudbusting]

Every single thing you describe is normal, completely normal, utterly normal, as normal as normal can be. you are in no danger whatsoever, none, not even a tiny tiny bit. You are completely healthy in body, completely healthy in mind, and completely healthy in spirit.

This. Just this.

It is scary and horrible and terrifying and exhausting but you are being hoodwinked by your body into thinking something must be terribly wrong and it isn't.

And a hug, even virtual, never hurt anyone either :hugs:

[cymraig_chris]

Absolutely, there is nothing wrong at all. A panic attack is a bad name for a good thing. It's a release of pent up stress that is completely beneficial for the body. Panic is nothing of the sort, it's just energy, it's not good or bad, it's just energy. People believe the panic feels bad, not at all, it's a buzz, a good buzz, the only bad feeling is our resistance, when you let go, you feel the energy dissipating, you can go from buzzing to calm in twenty minutes flat. You can choose to use this energy to get stuff done, or just sit back and enjoy the ride. Yes really you can most definitely enjoy them. Only a small shift in attitude will accomplish this. People pay good money to get the rush that adrenaline can provide. Google adrenaline junkies and you will find millions of people whooping and giggling at the buzz of adrenaline. That's all it is. It's nothing more than that.

The words panic attack are the worst piece of bad naming I have ever come across in my entire life.

There is no attack, there never has been, there never will be.

Adrenaline makes you strong, focused, pain free, it keens your senses, it makes you superhuman for a short time.

Sit back and enjoy he buzz.

It's the same chemical as excitement, produced in the same way by the body, there are no differences, they feel different because of resistance.

There is nothing physically or mentally damaging about adrenaline in any way shape or form.

Your mind and sanity is completely safe, your body is completely safe, your spirit is completely safe, and your actions are completely safe.

Q. Do you know what the one thing you should never do during a panic attack is?
A. There isn't one, there is no wrong answer, there is no wrong response, there is no wrong action, there are no wrong thoughts.

They are completely and utterly and profoundly safe in every single way, without any exceptions. 100%

It is impossible to react wrongly. You can anything, nothing and everything inbetween. Whatever you do or do not do is absolutely and completely fine.

The irony is that the moment we stop the resistance and realise that the energy release itself is fun and exciting because it's actually good energy, we actually start enjoying the energy flow, this the the moment when we want another one to get the feel good buzz one more time, the moment we want another one, we never get one again.

They are nothing but a resistance to the body's natural calming response, anxiety is no different.

When we realise that the energy is actually good energy after all, it always was, we no longer resist, because we are not scared anymore. Then it become physically impossible to panic or be anxious.

[Kim51]

The irony is that the moment we stop the resistance and realise that the energy release itself is fun and exciting because it's actually good energy, we actually start enjoying the energy flow, this the the moment when we want another one to get the feel good buzz one more time, the moment we want another one, we never get one again.

They are nothing but a resistance to the body's natural calming response, anxiety is no different.

When we realise that the energy is actually good energy after all, it always was, we no longer resist, because we are not scared anymore. Then it become physically impossible to panic or be anxious.

You make it seem so easy I only wish I could get to this place and let it all go, some good words of encouragement which can only but give us hope :)

[Karen62]

Sounds very scary, I hope you feel better soon and your kids start to sleep for you. Are they hyperactive?