New Job Stress

[pbryd]

Hello people this is my first post, sorry if it's in the wrong place but i'm not sure if i'm anxious, stressed or panicking lol

I took my redundancy in March, since then I've had three jobs but have had to leave them all in the first few days because I couldn't cope.

I could do the work, the people were nice and I did want to stay. After the first day I start to feel emotional, get a lump in my throat, lose my appetite etc. When I get home I'd burst into tears as soon as the front door was close behind me.

I've started another job this week, after the first day ended I went straight to the docs and explained what was happening with tears runing down my face. She perscribed some beta blockers but the next morning I coldn't face going into work so i sat and cried and rang the agency to tell them i couldn't make it.

But where do i go from here?

I need to work, the mortgage doesn't pay itself, luckily I have a some money saved to last a few months but I need to work eventually.

any ideas?

pbryd

[Meg]

You sound very overwhelmed and stressed to me..

How are you whe you're not trying to go to work , ie shopping, driving ?
What home pressures do you have and has this ever been an issue previously ?

Betablockers will stop your heart racing but wopn't help much with feeling engulfed or overwhelmed .




Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[pbryd]

Day to day things im fine, I don't have any worries, health good, money in the bank, great support from family and friends.

I was really nervous when I started my first job eight years ago but it was nothing compared to this.

Logically I know i'm intelligent and could have done either of the jobs I have gone for with ease.

I don't realy know what I can do about it. I'm thinking of looking for part-time work which I may be able to handle better. I can feel the tension building up as the working goes on. I feel as if I am constantly being watched by the other people and terrified that im doing something wrong.

pbryd

[nomorepanic]

Hiya Pbryd

Welcome to the site.

I was in a similar postition to you. I lived alone in Sheffield with no family around me. I bought a house with a friend who then emigrated to South Africa and asked me to buy him out.

I struggled to pay the mortgage and bills myself and ran up debts of over £3000.

I was then hit with panic and anxiety.

I now had 2 choices - carry on working or jack it all in, sell the house and move back to Surrey to live with my mum.

There was no way I wanted to live with my mum so I had to realise that to stay in Sheffield and stay in the house, I had to work and pay the mortgage. This is what pushed me day by day.

I took one month off work and did some work at home but when I went back I was no better. I struggled on panicking all the time, crying all the time and seeing the doc every week for check-ups.

It was the hardest thing I ever did but I refused to give it all in and go back to mum where I knew my life would be so different and not one I wanted to live.

I panic'd at work every day, cried all night, went to work etc and over and over this went on but I was determined to keep working and keep the house.

Well it was hard but you have to want something so bad that you can do it. I wanted this and somehow I managed to keep working despite panicking many times a day and taking the odd day off sick several times a month.

It can be done but boy it is hard work and it takes all the energy you have to do it.

There is light at the end of the tunnel and I truly believe that if I hadn't carried on working I would be housebound now and in a much worse state.

Please try to keep doing it - part-time work will be great - get you back out there and get some money coming in. It won't be easy and I can truly sympathise with you cos I did it alone too.

Do you think that low self-esteem may be part of the problem cos you say that you feel you are being watched. I have been told many times that I have low self-esteem but I know it is hard to gain it back.

I wish you all the luck and you are doing so well and you can overcome this hurdle ok?

Best of luck and let us know how it goes


Nicola

[pbryd]

Its Sat today and i'm supposed to be going to a freinds new martial arts class and a party tonight for a friends birthday but i just can't bring myself round to going and meeting old friends I haven't seen in a while and having to answer questions like 'Are you working?' etc.

My emotions have a mind of their own today, if something makes me happy i cry, if it's sad i cry even more.

I wished this emotional rollercoaster would stop cos i wanna get off!!

typing here helps tho

phil

[Meg]

Maybe just go to the class then . Martial arts are really good for mind over matter stuff and getting focused so do try to make that .



Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[nomorepanic]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">Its Sat today and i'm supposed to be going to a freinds new martial arts class and a party tonight for a friends birthday but i just can't bring myself round to going and meeting old friends I haven't seen in a while and having to answer questions like 'Are you working?' etc.
<div align="right">Originally posted by pbryd - 17 July 2004 : 11:51:02</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Try just going for a while and they may not even mention the work situation. If they do then just say that you have a few health issues and are off work for a while. Or just lie!!

It is best to do that than lose old friends cos you are scared of what they may say.

There have been a few posts on here from people saying that they lost friends cos they avoided going out, so those friends thought they were never interested so never asked again. That would be such a shame.

You can do it - just decide that you are going and go. It may even take your mind off things and let you catch up with some old mates.

Let us know ok?

Nicola

[pbryd]

Went back to the docs and told her the beta blockers didnt help, She asked if I would like to speak to a counsellor and said ok, she prescribed citalopram hydrobromide 20mg and gave me a sick note for a month.

Im not sure whats up with me, I am unhappy I cant get a job cos i feel extremely uncomfortable in the new surroundings but wouldn't have classed myself as being depressed.

But having a month sick note takes away the worry about the dole being on my back and gives me some time to think of a plan to get back into work.

pbryd

[snowman]

Hi.....Don't worry you are not alone.

I was made redundant from a great job........a career that had lasted a hectic 12 years.......but when I lost it I knew that I wasn't ready to go straight back to work. Unfortunately I started to get depressed about it and felt a failure. Tried hypnotherapy which got me back into work and helped with the panic and aggrophobia........but then my relationship fell apart because of it. It all became too much and I had to seek medical help and left the job. Trying a mixture of medication and counselling now...but it's early days. I know what you mean you just think its all too much but hopefully you're month on sick will help. I am determined to get back into something but accept that it will be at a lower level without as much reponsibilities as before. Lets all try to stop being perfect and accept that we are allowed faults and can't be perfect all the time.

[Meg]

pbryd

Use your month off to actively help yourself recover by making any lifestyle changes you need and exploring all your options.
Parttime or short days often help to settle back in as does volunteer work as it gets you into a routine without much pressure .




Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[pbryd]

Hi Guys

Thanks to for all your words of help and support. I rang a friend who has a light removal business to ask if he can use some help, he's going to get back to me if he gets a big job.

I had a phone call this morning offering me a job as a driver, I had to turn it down, i havent drove in a few years and i know that because i've just started citalopram that i could be worse in the next two weeks.

But there will always be more job offers when i feel up to it.

take care everyone

pbryd

[pbryd]

Hi Guys

I had no reaction to the citalopram, didnt make me feel worse or better. Personally i think the sadness i had was just the from losing another job, a few weeks later and i feel fine. Im at the point where I want to get out there and start a new job.

Im at the docs first thing tomorrow (thursday) morning to ask her if she is willing to give some diazepam (a very low dose). So when i start a new job i can take one to help reduce the anxiety.

I realise you can ony take these type of medications for a few weeks and theyre only short term but i will bet money that once im in job for a week or two i'll be settled in and the anxiety will have died down.

im also going to a counsellor next week for a chat, so im exploring other options and not just trying to rely on pills.

phil

[pbryd]

Doc wouldnt presrcibe me anything lol

So i have to work round his without any drugs. I will try and get myself sorted with some part-time work and perhaps some volunteer work.

It's possible the terrible backstabbing, bitchyness, name calling which used to go on in my old workplace (everyone suffered this from a select few) has somehow dented my confidence or made me very nervous about working in a new place.

I recently did a days work with a friend and although nervous at first, really enjoyed myself and felt very proud at the end of the day when he paid me, i went to Tescos and bought some stuff to make flour tortillas, they were delicous simly cos i worked to get them.

It has helped me realise not every workplace is full of bitter people and some can be a happy place to work. So perhaps all i need is a few more experiences working in an happier environment and i might get sorted.

phil

[tara]

So sorry things got on top of you. It is hard to deal with losing your job and having to find a new one, morgage commitments, it's an unsettling time for you. One good thing is that you have a month off and have time to explore options, get your head around things, give time for your meds to work. Maybe in a months time things will look a little different for you, i hope so............Tara xxx

[pbryd]

See, the problem is not on a daily basis. Whilst the mortgage doesn't pay itself i'm one of the lucky ones who doesn't have money worries. I have a habit of saving and a problem with spending lol.

The only time i feel nervous and anxious is when i get a new job.

I've just got a few hours working with a local plumber next week, hopefully this will help me realise that not all workplaces are miserable and some of them can be fun.

thans for your support Tara,

i have a tarantula tara :)

phil

[tara]

I used to keep turantulas LOL.....Tara xxx

[twister]

Hi

I am glad you are feeling so much better. It sounds like you were just suffering a natural stress reaction to losing your job.

Keep us posted!



Emily

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit
Understanding is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad