cpe1978
31-12-13, 17:27
Afternoon everyone I hope you are enjoying the last of 2013. I am not usually one for new year's resolutions and I dare say not much will change this year, but it strikes me that all of us hope 2014 will be better than 2013 for a range of reasons.
I haven't posted on here much recently, mainly because I have been so short of time and secondly I haven't really got anything new to say to people. However as the year comes to a close, it causes you to reflect a little.
I have been posting on here since about August when I was in a right pickle. I am pleased to say that in the most part that situation has changed and I just wanted to provide some final 2013 thoughts before cooking dinner for my family.
This forum is wonderful for so many reasons and there is no doubt it has helped me, but as a new visitor reading this, please be aware that it is also the worst form of negative counselling. This is inevitable to a point given that you wouldn't visit a forum if you weren't suffering somewhat, but you must also bear in mind that literally thousands of people have passed through here, presumably started to feel better and never returned. So the messages on this forum are not a true representation of people who suffer with anxiety, typically they are the people who suffer the most and most enduringly.
Secondly. The power is in your hands. I have hung around here long enough now to see the same people post recurrently about the same symptoms or alternatively more transiently about a whole range of prospective illnesses one after another. I have seen enough people feel better also, and had enough support from people to know that the only path to recovery is one that requires work and a change of approach. You simply WILL NOT feel better if the only thing you are relying on is reassurance from peers on here. This will only keeped you locked in a dark place.
I have come to the conclusion that contrary to what people actually say, that many people, including myself at one time are almost scared to be happy. Anxious us comfortable, whilst excruciating at the same time. Recovery requires not only effort, but bravery to take a leap of faith.
We should stick to what we are all individually good at. I know for one that I am not good at medical diagnosis, so why would I presume that just be reading a few unreliable lines on the Internet would equip me to arrive at a diagnosis based on some fairly non descript symptoms? I have read people on here diagnose themselves, not only with a type of cancer, but a specific sub type which is quite incredible. I am yet to see anyone however who was correct.
We have to find a GP we can trust and we have to be open with them. There is a real move in the NHS towards partnership between clinicians and patients and I personally think that this is incredibly important in the field of mental health. Work with, rather than against medical practitioners, but don't accept someone who doesn't give mental health a high priority.
The same applies to CBT practitioners. I firmly believe that the principles of CBT can have a benefit for everyone, yet all to often you hear people say, 'it wasn't for them', 'didn't work' etc. the models that surround CBT are so overwhelmingly simple that there is no reason they can't work to some degree for all, but you do have to be open to it and also be prepared to put the work in which is where i suspect a very many people fall down.
But most importantly perhaps is not only learning to trust professionals but learning to trust our bodies. Normal people are not at the docs every two minutes. So I have to assume one of two things. That either that get no symptoms, or that they handle them in a more proportionate way. Not every symptom or sensation is a warning sign, in fact the vast vast majority are not. We are not as fragile as we think. Yes people die and some die young, but the vast vast majority of people live well into their 70s and many beyond.
Above all of this is the great news that if you take positive steps that you can feel better. I have seen people come onto this forum in some distress then work through their issues systematically and come out the other side much better. Not overnight and not perfect, but enough of a positive transition to give them confidence and motivation to push on further. In my time here, Tanner is perhaps the best example of this. Watching her posts now is just fabulous compared to the very distressed posts she used to make, but she hasn't half put the work in to get there.
So I end this rather rambling post by wishing you all a very happy new year, but leave you with a reminder that just having hope that next year will be better than the last isn't enough, you have to resolve to make this year better. After all as HA sufferers we don't like uncertainty and the word 'hope' is full of it!
And finally finally,
Fishmanpa, congratulations man. I wish you and your future wife the most amazing, long and healthy future. What you have been through must really make you aware of what is important in life, and I can't help but think that in spite of all the adversity you have faced, that this focus on the important things is a wonderful foundation block of a marriage.
Take care everyone,
Chris
I haven't posted on here much recently, mainly because I have been so short of time and secondly I haven't really got anything new to say to people. However as the year comes to a close, it causes you to reflect a little.
I have been posting on here since about August when I was in a right pickle. I am pleased to say that in the most part that situation has changed and I just wanted to provide some final 2013 thoughts before cooking dinner for my family.
This forum is wonderful for so many reasons and there is no doubt it has helped me, but as a new visitor reading this, please be aware that it is also the worst form of negative counselling. This is inevitable to a point given that you wouldn't visit a forum if you weren't suffering somewhat, but you must also bear in mind that literally thousands of people have passed through here, presumably started to feel better and never returned. So the messages on this forum are not a true representation of people who suffer with anxiety, typically they are the people who suffer the most and most enduringly.
Secondly. The power is in your hands. I have hung around here long enough now to see the same people post recurrently about the same symptoms or alternatively more transiently about a whole range of prospective illnesses one after another. I have seen enough people feel better also, and had enough support from people to know that the only path to recovery is one that requires work and a change of approach. You simply WILL NOT feel better if the only thing you are relying on is reassurance from peers on here. This will only keeped you locked in a dark place.
I have come to the conclusion that contrary to what people actually say, that many people, including myself at one time are almost scared to be happy. Anxious us comfortable, whilst excruciating at the same time. Recovery requires not only effort, but bravery to take a leap of faith.
We should stick to what we are all individually good at. I know for one that I am not good at medical diagnosis, so why would I presume that just be reading a few unreliable lines on the Internet would equip me to arrive at a diagnosis based on some fairly non descript symptoms? I have read people on here diagnose themselves, not only with a type of cancer, but a specific sub type which is quite incredible. I am yet to see anyone however who was correct.
We have to find a GP we can trust and we have to be open with them. There is a real move in the NHS towards partnership between clinicians and patients and I personally think that this is incredibly important in the field of mental health. Work with, rather than against medical practitioners, but don't accept someone who doesn't give mental health a high priority.
The same applies to CBT practitioners. I firmly believe that the principles of CBT can have a benefit for everyone, yet all to often you hear people say, 'it wasn't for them', 'didn't work' etc. the models that surround CBT are so overwhelmingly simple that there is no reason they can't work to some degree for all, but you do have to be open to it and also be prepared to put the work in which is where i suspect a very many people fall down.
But most importantly perhaps is not only learning to trust professionals but learning to trust our bodies. Normal people are not at the docs every two minutes. So I have to assume one of two things. That either that get no symptoms, or that they handle them in a more proportionate way. Not every symptom or sensation is a warning sign, in fact the vast vast majority are not. We are not as fragile as we think. Yes people die and some die young, but the vast vast majority of people live well into their 70s and many beyond.
Above all of this is the great news that if you take positive steps that you can feel better. I have seen people come onto this forum in some distress then work through their issues systematically and come out the other side much better. Not overnight and not perfect, but enough of a positive transition to give them confidence and motivation to push on further. In my time here, Tanner is perhaps the best example of this. Watching her posts now is just fabulous compared to the very distressed posts she used to make, but she hasn't half put the work in to get there.
So I end this rather rambling post by wishing you all a very happy new year, but leave you with a reminder that just having hope that next year will be better than the last isn't enough, you have to resolve to make this year better. After all as HA sufferers we don't like uncertainty and the word 'hope' is full of it!
And finally finally,
Fishmanpa, congratulations man. I wish you and your future wife the most amazing, long and healthy future. What you have been through must really make you aware of what is important in life, and I can't help but think that in spite of all the adversity you have faced, that this focus on the important things is a wonderful foundation block of a marriage.
Take care everyone,
Chris