Have i lost all emotion?

[Kez_miller]

hi guys, so a few weeks ago my grandad who i was caring for passed away, and although i've always been very driven person and wanted to succeed this past month since it happened i have just been so frustrated on making myself successful and wealthy and i have not cared how i go about doing it, obviously i wouldn't do anything illegal but i have had serious thoughts about under handed tactics and just being selfish towards everyone just to make myself successful. This just isn't me, as i say i have always wanted to be the best i can, but i've always been caring and nice and i go about this all above bored and it is really concerning me, i mean last night it got to the point where i felt physical emotion and frustration that i wanted more from my life. I've also just lost all emotion of people walking away from me, like i do still love my partner but she has told me if i carry on how i am right now then she will leave me, and i genuinely don't care, i just want a successful life. what is happening too me, am i becoming some sort of schizophrenic with no emotion? i seriously don't understand it? as my grandad had a word with the big man upstairs and injected me with un stoppable drive to be the best, haha i don't know. but seriously...i need answers lol

[Fishmanpa]

Ain't no answers on an anxiety forum Kez.... You have to make your bed and lie in it. Maybe you need to go watch "Wall Street" '87 Michael Douglas, Martin Sheen.

Good luck in whatever you decide.

Positive thoughts

[cpe1978]

I suppose it depends on what your measure of 'best' is. In my experience, the people who view financial wealth as the best scenario are destined for disappointment and constantly striving for more, but of course, more never gets here!

[cattia]

I don't think you've lost all emotion. You seem to be quite self aware which suggests that you have insight into your own behaviour. I wonder whether your current mindset is some sort of reaction to the death of your grandfather?
Seven years ago I lost a close friend in very sudden circumstances. My reaction to it at the time was to go out drinking and parting non stop for two weeks. I couldn't feel any emotion at all, I just had this reaction that I needed to grab life by yhe balls and throw myself into it whatever way I could. I calmed down but it took a good while for me to actually start grieving for my friend. Grief affects us in funny ways and you have to be gentle and undrstanding with yourself at this time.