Those With Anxiety Seen As Weak And Fragile

[Tanner40]

Good Morning to all! I got a disturbing reminder yesterday that people can be ignorant when it pertains to anxiety. I also learned that people will wield our anxiety against us like a weapon. This all from family. My brother, not the negative one, told me last night that I was weak and my psyche was fragile because I had an anxiety problem.

I must say that I was stunned and that my feelings were hurt beyond measure. I felt tears spring to my eyes but I didn't cry because I'll be damned if I let him know that he got to me. It was a tough lesson to learn. Relearning every day just how dysfunctional my family really is and has always been.

This all occurred because I told my brothers that I was uncomfortable spending the whole night alone, taking care of our Father. I did it two nights ago, and my dad is very confused. I had to watch him take his clothes off all night long and watch him lay there, muttering and playing with his penis. It is not my anxiety that makes me uncomfortable. I am uncomfortable with that situation and feel like my brothers should handle that part of the day.

They are thinking of discharging my dad for a week, so that he can get stronger for a possible surgery. His pneumonia is better and his pain is being managed. The bother who gave me a hard time, well they both did really, can't help for the first week due to work constraints that he and his wife have. So he is taking his stress out on me, is the way that I feel.

It is just an impossible situation at the moment. Quite frankly, I have been handling the stress as well, if not better than my brothers. But because they know that I have panic attacks, they are saying that I am weak and fragile and that is why I won't stay with my dad at night. Wielding my anxiety as a weapon.

I want to tell them is that my anxiety has made me stronger. I am as strong, if not stronger than them. I have fought panic attacks and won. I have fought anxiety and won. I fought agoraphobia and won. Just because I have an anxiety disorder does not mean that I am weak. If anything, it has made me a stronger person. It's a shame that people do not understand that concept.

Today, I am determined not to let them make me feel bad. I will take care of myself today, even if I feel like my heart is pounding out of my chest. It is only anxiety, and I can win.

[dally]

Hi tanner
If you feel unable to look after your father.
Tell your brothers this firmly.
You are not accountable to them.
In an ideal world, all members of your fathers family would sit down and
Discuss a rota for his care, that suited all of you.

Even if. your anxiety was the reason for you preferring not to look after your father at night, your siblings should be MORE supportive of you.

Unfortunately, I have in the past and recently been subjected to "people" and very close family NOT understanding this condition. I have patiently explained, the adrenaline thing,
I have recorded excellent informative tv programmes about the subject and shown them to family.....even family that really love me... And they still tell me to pull myself together or just try harder!!!

So my message to you is. do not worry or consider what your brother thinks of your health condition. He is not considerate of you. His worry is his work. Out the onus on him to use some holiday entitlement to look after your father. It is a joint responsibility
Xxx

[Tanner40]

Thanks Dally. I have been quite firm with my brothers on what I am willing to do. We have been taking turns at the hospital, and we are trying to come up with a plan for rotating care. My brothers are too busy arguing to be supportive. I am just going to have to be supportive of myself and very clear on what I need.