Spondoolicks
05-01-14, 17:11
A little about me...... I'm suffering from the worse anxiety I have had in years. It all came about about 6 weeks ago but I have suffered from anxiety for 16 years. I had a burnout all those years ago and had psychotherapy, cbt and ear acupuncture and all was well apart from the odd anxious time. That was until my recent bout. It started in August when I had a massive panic attack that lead me to be blue lighted by ambulance to my local hospital after the doctor thought I was having a heart attack. All was well until I became overwhelmed just before Christmas and started waking early in the mornings panicking and sweating profusely, breaking my sleep. This then lead to daytime panic attacks and terrible morning anxiety. All came to a head and I went to the doctor. He wanted to put me onto antidepressants but I have a phobia of side effects and so cannot take tablets at all. I agreed to cut alcohol and to cut down smoking? I have quit my two cans a night and have gone down to 6 cigarettes a day. I asked for cbt and I have had the initial consultation but won't have treatment for quite a while yet. I have HA about my heart now following the trip to A&E as I wasn't really told anything other than I was to take my own pulse if my heart was to race like that again and go back if it was high so they could investigate. I thought I would be ok and never went to the gp about it and then lost the letter the doctor at the hospital gave me. It all seemed ok for a while then the last 6 weeks have proved I was far from ok.
I wake up every morning at about 4am these days. Last night I had a big panic attack. I am not coping at all today, got up feeling very shaky and weak but I do have stronger days. I am almost housebound and will only go out if my partner comes with me although I did manage to drive alone to the supermarket and buy dinner the other day. My partner is fantastic and as he suffers from anxiety himself he is doing a brilliant job of supporting me. I have 5 boys at home of varying ages and I feel like I'm ruining their lives as well as my own and my partners. I'm wondering if I should really be in residential therapy somewhere so they can get on without me. I also have the worry of having a glucose tolerance test because the doctor said my glucose is high and that I might be pre diabetic 6.9 (this is causing its own problems because now I think I should be controlling my diet)I cannot have this test until 21st Jan so adding to all my worries. I have read at last a life and Clare Weeks self help for your nerves that do help a bit. I really don't know which way to turn. I just feel I'm ready to get better just don't know how I'm going to do it.
I wake up every morning at about 4am these days. Last night I had a big panic attack. I am not coping at all today, got up feeling very shaky and weak but I do have stronger days. I am almost housebound and will only go out if my partner comes with me although I did manage to drive alone to the supermarket and buy dinner the other day. My partner is fantastic and as he suffers from anxiety himself he is doing a brilliant job of supporting me. I have 5 boys at home of varying ages and I feel like I'm ruining their lives as well as my own and my partners. I'm wondering if I should really be in residential therapy somewhere so they can get on without me. I also have the worry of having a glucose tolerance test because the doctor said my glucose is high and that I might be pre diabetic 6.9 (this is causing its own problems because now I think I should be controlling my diet)I cannot have this test until 21st Jan so adding to all my worries. I have read at last a life and Clare Weeks self help for your nerves that do help a bit. I really don't know which way to turn. I just feel I'm ready to get better just don't know how I'm going to do it.