O OCD problems

[virgostar]

Hey i'm new to this site and reading through the older stories have helped so much. I would just like peoples insight on what i go through. I started having panic attacks starting in college. Just the normal "oh i'm dizzy scared i'm going to faint, i'm hot and trembling, thinking i'm going crazy" kinda thing and it would only last like 2 min. Then after that i was so scared i would get a panic attack while driving, in class again, etc. Well I knew i could control it and it was in my mind so I got over it. I had other problems after i saw the exorcist i was scared about getting possessed, then i researched it and saw how unreal it could be and got over that. Now I read in the news about a mom who killed her children and suddenly i thought "o my God, thats horrible, could I ever do that? If she went insane and did that, i could" then i started imagining me doing it to my loved ones and i was so scared and thought i was going to make myself go nuts and hurt someone or something. I kept telling myself that i am looking way into it and if i was insane i wouldn't think i was. Then i was better and today i watched oprah about a man killing his kids. He said after 11 years he just snapped. That got me going all over again and i started feeling panicky and worried that i would go crazy and hurt someone or something. I really know I won't, i love my life my family my friends and my boyfriend so much and the last thing i'd want to do is hurt them, but the panic is so scary it makes me feel scared that i would. Whats ur insight? I know i have this problem , i would just like it to go away so i woulnd't worry all the freakin time.

[LickeyEndBlues]

Het Virgostar,

Welcome to NMP, there is lots of good stuff in here as you are finding out. Help, advice and support is never too far away, even if it comes from across the pond!! There are an increasing number of y'all inhere and I don't think it will be long before the chatroom becomes 24/7.

I have never considered myself as having OCD, but I can relate to your post as far as the thoughts are concerned, particulary the ones that go round and round ever darker. They are then brought to thesurface big style when you hear or read about the tragedies that you describe. It is something that scares me.

I am currently on meds, citalopram 20mg/day and since taking it those sorts of thoughts have subsided significantly. I think they boil down to other conditions that we have, in particular various anxieties particularly how we feel about our self within that.

Thanks for posting that, it has got me thinking...in a good way!! You might find fellow Statesider, Worrywort may be able to share withyou...she sounded as if she needed an ear.

Take care

Iain

Laissez les bon temp roulez

[Worrywart]

Hey Virgostar,

I sent you a PM!

[Rachel Ball]

Hi there
I also suffer with OCD of the pure obsessional kind.

Those kind of thoughts with OCD are unbelievably common. The brain dares you to think of the thing that you deplore most and tortures you with it. Because it is so alien to you, it frightens you.

It is so true that if it repulses you, you are safe. Killing people did not repulse Jeffrey Dahmer, he did it, you wont, it is not within your nature. OCD has never sent anyone nuts, definetely not in the way that they will leave their senses and kill those they love most.

Things that helped when I went through it are that pushing the thought away gives it strength. Play with it, say 'is that all you've got?' (as odd as it sounds) then think about it more, the worst possible situation, laugh at it again and then think of something even worse. The ball is within your court then, fight with it and it will win. I use to have this thing about chopping my niece up with a knife!absolutely utterly awful. Then I chose to think about it, as bad as it could be, even worse than I imagined and I got bored!!

You can also designate time in the morning or evening or both specifically to have your rumination. When the thoughts come, say to yourself 'Ok, I know your there, but we'll have our little debate later shall we?' You make the choices, don't let the OCD choose for you, like I said YOU WILL LOSE.

Have a look at www.ocduk.org. Read the success stories, there is one quite similar to yours, this is a really good site. Also www.ocdonline.com, Dr Stephen Phillipson is amazing and has such an insight into Pure obsessions, read his articles.

A thought is just a thought, it is your reaction to it that causes the problem. xx Rachel.

[Alexocelix]

Rachel, does challenging your thoughts really help? I'm kinda scared to challenge mine, you know, just in case. So in the meantime my obsessional thoughts get worse and worse, and in the end my mind can just race or panic.

[clickaway]

Why not write a diary entering the scary stories you have heard about and then finish by saying "I panicked and felt nervous etc. but I am all right. I am alive and kicking and will be here tomorrow"

Remember, murders, being posessed and the like are not regular parts of life just a regular part of your mind.

I live in a safe neighbourhood, but even with my anxiety, I don't worry about getting injured or killed in a road accident. There's only a low chance of that happening, and you need to tell yourself every day that your world is actually safe.

The media always distorts the the frequency at which bad things happen. Compare the TV News with the reality of life in your neighbourhood.

Take Care,


Ray


http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers