Vivienne757
06-01-14, 15:54
Hello all,
I am a 31 year old woman, I am married with a 14 month old son, we had not planned this pregnancy so it was a bit of a shock to find out, I worry alot about how i will cope with two children under 2 years of age and what if I totally cannot cope.... I have no help whatsoever outside of my own husband who is the best a woman could ask for, extremely supportive but he works all day so i worry that I wont cope alone.
A couple of months ago, right before I found out I was pregnant I was feeling pretty crap about myself because i was not making my own money, so I went and took an evening job in a call centre, it was probably the most stressful experience of my life to date, I felt extremely overwhelmed and worried as we had loads of tests etc and then leaving my baby for the first time, it all turned out to be too much for me and even other younger girls with no children were also extremely stressed. On top of this I was chosen as best friend from my team leader trainer in the job, she was a nice girl but had alot of issues and major anxiety was one of them, it transpired as time went on and i was her support while dealing with my own worries too, I found myself getting very stressed and it manifested itself physically tight chest and worrying bout my breathing, I left the position and then found out I was pregnant!
Ever since this I was very up and down for a while and more recently have leveled off, I looked up this website and found the advice to accept your feelings very helpful, I have been doing so much better but I get nights where it comes back, I have very obsessive tendencies to my personality , obsess alot about things that happen and I have alot of trouble letting things go, I obsess about my relationship to no end, questioning worrying etc so I definitely had these tendencies well before this job but the job sparked off a new fear, fear of physical anxiety, muscle tension etc. Because I helped that girl it created a new awareness within myself of I suppose anxiety, for a while I felt terrible like there was no point to life (never suicidal) but just feeling out of control, hard to describe really but feeling like I couldnt handle my feelings. I started to focus on that girl my trainer and her feeling (see about the obsessional) I was just thinking if I knew she was ok then i would be okay, I felt like it was out of my own control because she caused me to have these feelings and all i could think about was an image of her feeling panicked or stressed, I guess this is definitely where my ocd comes in.
I do feel heaps better but that fear hasnt really entirely left me, its just a feeling like I could lose control I dont even know how too explain it I wish I could.
The worry is extremely exemplified because all of this anxiety was happening first trimester of pregnancy and it was extremely hard to break the cycle. I do feel like I am making progress and part of that was taking responsibility for myself and my feelings, and accepting that I feel a certain way but sometimes that is still hard, espicially now I am pregnant because if i start to feel stress it really spirals because im worried is it affecting my unborn child.
Thank you so much if you have read this far, thank you.
I am a 31 year old woman, I am married with a 14 month old son, we had not planned this pregnancy so it was a bit of a shock to find out, I worry alot about how i will cope with two children under 2 years of age and what if I totally cannot cope.... I have no help whatsoever outside of my own husband who is the best a woman could ask for, extremely supportive but he works all day so i worry that I wont cope alone.
A couple of months ago, right before I found out I was pregnant I was feeling pretty crap about myself because i was not making my own money, so I went and took an evening job in a call centre, it was probably the most stressful experience of my life to date, I felt extremely overwhelmed and worried as we had loads of tests etc and then leaving my baby for the first time, it all turned out to be too much for me and even other younger girls with no children were also extremely stressed. On top of this I was chosen as best friend from my team leader trainer in the job, she was a nice girl but had alot of issues and major anxiety was one of them, it transpired as time went on and i was her support while dealing with my own worries too, I found myself getting very stressed and it manifested itself physically tight chest and worrying bout my breathing, I left the position and then found out I was pregnant!
Ever since this I was very up and down for a while and more recently have leveled off, I looked up this website and found the advice to accept your feelings very helpful, I have been doing so much better but I get nights where it comes back, I have very obsessive tendencies to my personality , obsess alot about things that happen and I have alot of trouble letting things go, I obsess about my relationship to no end, questioning worrying etc so I definitely had these tendencies well before this job but the job sparked off a new fear, fear of physical anxiety, muscle tension etc. Because I helped that girl it created a new awareness within myself of I suppose anxiety, for a while I felt terrible like there was no point to life (never suicidal) but just feeling out of control, hard to describe really but feeling like I couldnt handle my feelings. I started to focus on that girl my trainer and her feeling (see about the obsessional) I was just thinking if I knew she was ok then i would be okay, I felt like it was out of my own control because she caused me to have these feelings and all i could think about was an image of her feeling panicked or stressed, I guess this is definitely where my ocd comes in.
I do feel heaps better but that fear hasnt really entirely left me, its just a feeling like I could lose control I dont even know how too explain it I wish I could.
The worry is extremely exemplified because all of this anxiety was happening first trimester of pregnancy and it was extremely hard to break the cycle. I do feel like I am making progress and part of that was taking responsibility for myself and my feelings, and accepting that I feel a certain way but sometimes that is still hard, espicially now I am pregnant because if i start to feel stress it really spirals because im worried is it affecting my unborn child.
Thank you so much if you have read this far, thank you.