I want to cry but can't. Numb emotionally.

[TheGoldenTomato]

I am constantly on edge, stressed and upset but I can't seem to cry when it's all I want to do. I want to let it all out and have a good sob but I can't do anything more than weep. So I'm left feeling nervous and empty and cold.
There's a lot I dislike about my life. I was made redundant from an amazing job, I think my boyfriend is way too good for me, my family are annoying and rude and I have to live with them, I have no drive to do anything in life, I suffer panic attacks regularly and can never change my negative thoughts to positive ones.
I've tried calling the Samaritans but obviously they're just there to listen, not give life advice.
Sometimes I feel emotionless just laying there in bed --- Numb and exhausted from the daily anxious thoughts and overthinking. It's driving me mad. It's like my body and mind cannot be asked anymore. I'm very healthy physically according to my doctor so I assume my thoughts are making me this way. Anyone else had this? :weep:

[Sparkle1984]

Yes I have this as well. For me, I think it's my SSRI medication. Since being on citalopram, I hardly ever cry at all - maybe about once a month, whereas in the past I used to get tearful at pretty much anything (even things that most people would probably find trivial, and items on the news etc). Personally I don't mind the emotional numbness, as crying a lot used to make me feel a bit self-conscious and I used to wonder if other people might notice the tears in my eyes if I had an urge to cry when I was with people. When I was a kid, people used to taunt me saying I was a crybaby (I was bullied at primary school). :weep:

In my case I feel like I actually don't *need* to cry any more. Negative thoughts don't seem to have the power to upset me so much these days. Thankfully I can still laugh when I find things funny, it's only crying that's affected. It's blunted the negative emotions without affecting the positive ones.

As an example, on the TV news while I was eating my tea just now, there was an item about people on housing benefit being evicted from their homes. In the past, I would have felt tearful about a story like that (as I always hate to see people suffering), but tonight it just didn't affect me in that way. It doesn't mean that I don't care any more (I still feel passionate about the same causes that I always supported), it's just that I didn't feel the urge to cry about it.

I don't think emotional numbness is anything to be overly concerned about - from what I understand, it's the mind's way of protecting you from your anxiety. Derealisation/depersonalisation (which I experienced many times before seeking treatment for my anxiety) are similar in many ways - it can be disorientating but it can't harm you.