Worrier13
06-01-14, 17:47
I'm scared ... again.. I had a really hard year with my anxiety and newly found heart problem, you can read more about it in my other posts. Well today I wanted to start building my life together again. I used to be really active and played soccer for 11 years, was really good at it too. But now, for over a year, I've been unemployed, lived at home doing absolutely nothing. Just laying in bed every day. Today I went for a run for the first time in a really long time and also quit all tobacco products (I have been quitting gradually for a while, this is the first day without anything).
The reason I got scared was because I could only run for about 5 minutes before I got really tired. I know that of course my condition has gotten bad but oh my god, I'm really in this shape? I still got almost all my muscles.
So I walked home and now I have been trembling for about 2 hours and got blurred vision and just feel like sleeping. I feel like I'm in a haze. Now I don't want to work out anymore if this is the feeling I'm going to get. Shouldn't exercise make u feel better? What the hell is this... I'm surprisingly not worried about my heart but that's just because I always think about all kinds of cancers. Like now, this fatigue I'm feeling, it must be leukemia right? Oh god I hate myself..
The reason I got scared was because I could only run for about 5 minutes before I got really tired. I know that of course my condition has gotten bad but oh my god, I'm really in this shape? I still got almost all my muscles.
So I walked home and now I have been trembling for about 2 hours and got blurred vision and just feel like sleeping. I feel like I'm in a haze. Now I don't want to work out anymore if this is the feeling I'm going to get. Shouldn't exercise make u feel better? What the hell is this... I'm surprisingly not worried about my heart but that's just because I always think about all kinds of cancers. Like now, this fatigue I'm feeling, it must be leukemia right? Oh god I hate myself..