tricia56
08-01-14, 12:34
hi firstly sorry this post is quite long ,but as you can see from my older posts ive had anxiety for over 8yrs now and it never seems to settle down and have it allday everday no matter what I do. and have had cbt once was about 2yrs ago but didn't help much .and in November I started again with a different cbt therapist which only lasted 3 sessions because she said that because of my problems at home it would be no point in carrying on with the therapy because she said we would be just going round in circles as she says I need to resolve the problem that I have as that is what is keeping my anxiety going. so ill try and explain my problem with you to see if you think she is right in wat she is saying. I have a sister who is 50yrs old who has lived with me for 2yrs now who depends on alcohol and has clinical drepression for over 30yrs now and has tried to kill her self many times over the years including a few times at my home. and its always been me that has had to try and get her help get to hospital ect. ive always helped her and put up with her because ive always felt that if she did kill herself I would never forgive myself as I should of helped her more.
Over the years its always been me that she came to when she was drunk and drugged up and got all the abuse off her and a lot of times in was in front of my children too. she went to prison 5yrs ago for life because she set fire to her flat to try and kill herself and charged with arson with intent she came out 2yrs ago and had noware to live so her probation officer pleaded with me to let her come and stay with me until they found her a place of her own, I didn't really want her with me because the way I was suffering bad with anxiety but because ive always been a soft touch with everybody I agreed.as even tho I have 2 other bro and a sister they washed their hands with her many yrs ago after our parents died so I was all down to me to deal with her. las year she tried yet again to kill herself at my home and was put into the local mental unit for help she was there for 3mnths and I told her many times while she was in there that I culdnt have her back living with me because I couldn't cope no more with her and it was affecting me mentaly but she kept pleading and crying begging me to let her come back and the hospital and probation kept asking me so in the end I gave in yet again , so she has been living with again since last year ,she has to sleep in my living room as I haven't got a spare bedroom as I have my son and youngest daughter still at home. she doesn't get up till afternoon time doesn't do nothing exept watch tv. so a lot of time I spend in my bedroom doing nothing exept watch tv and feeling very anxiouse all the time. as I cant go and sit down stairs or clean up until she gets up it effecting my youngest daughter too as she spends a lot of time in her room because she cant sit down stairs thro the day.now I cant seem to stand being down stairs with my sister as I keep feeling that she has caused me to be the way I am now and that's seems to worry me quite a lot as I do love my sister and im not sure if im just trying to find someone one or some thing to blame for me being the way I am ,and because of what my therapist said I keep thinking that once my sister leaves then my anxiety will go but that might not be the case , im just so confused and don't know what to think anymore . sorry
Over the years its always been me that she came to when she was drunk and drugged up and got all the abuse off her and a lot of times in was in front of my children too. she went to prison 5yrs ago for life because she set fire to her flat to try and kill herself and charged with arson with intent she came out 2yrs ago and had noware to live so her probation officer pleaded with me to let her come and stay with me until they found her a place of her own, I didn't really want her with me because the way I was suffering bad with anxiety but because ive always been a soft touch with everybody I agreed.as even tho I have 2 other bro and a sister they washed their hands with her many yrs ago after our parents died so I was all down to me to deal with her. las year she tried yet again to kill herself at my home and was put into the local mental unit for help she was there for 3mnths and I told her many times while she was in there that I culdnt have her back living with me because I couldn't cope no more with her and it was affecting me mentaly but she kept pleading and crying begging me to let her come back and the hospital and probation kept asking me so in the end I gave in yet again , so she has been living with again since last year ,she has to sleep in my living room as I haven't got a spare bedroom as I have my son and youngest daughter still at home. she doesn't get up till afternoon time doesn't do nothing exept watch tv. so a lot of time I spend in my bedroom doing nothing exept watch tv and feeling very anxiouse all the time. as I cant go and sit down stairs or clean up until she gets up it effecting my youngest daughter too as she spends a lot of time in her room because she cant sit down stairs thro the day.now I cant seem to stand being down stairs with my sister as I keep feeling that she has caused me to be the way I am now and that's seems to worry me quite a lot as I do love my sister and im not sure if im just trying to find someone one or some thing to blame for me being the way I am ,and because of what my therapist said I keep thinking that once my sister leaves then my anxiety will go but that might not be the case , im just so confused and don't know what to think anymore . sorry