watapale
09-01-14, 00:51
Hi I have been an anxiety sufferer for the past 8 years, mostly health anxiety assuming I had cancer or some other life threatening illness. When it was most doubtfully nothing of that sort, I started going to CBT therapy sessions, for those who dont know what CBT is , its Congestive Behavioral Therapy which I found to be beneficial. Apart from the occasional worry when I did have an ache or pain, I was generally panic attack free. But that all changed in July 2013 when I came down with a bout if gastroenteritis, I was out of work for a week I will spare you the details. But it was like water, that subsided after 4 days and I was able to return to work the following week, but I still seemed to have this pain that wouldn't go away in my lower bowel region, fast forward nearly 6 months later and over 35 hospital visits convinced I had bowel cancer I had a colonoscopy, of which nothing sinister was found. I know I had been under alot of stress with work and a broken relationship, to the the point I had to hand my notice. So I concluded in was the stress that triggered my anxiety, which in affect made me believe I had a life threatening illness. It was a great start to the new year, and I felt refreshed about life and happy again, until Saturday night I had a friend over at my place they had some skunk a strong form of marijuana. I don't know why and if I could turn back the hand of time I would, but being so stupid and curious I decided to smoke some. I rolled a tiny amount with some tobacco. And we shared it, initially I felt nothing and wondered what all the fuss was about. We went back into the house about half hour later time was moving so slow, Minutes felt like hours I couldnt focus properly, i was forgetful, extremely lightheaded. Extremely paranoid terrified I was going mad! I have never been so scared in my life. I was pacing up and down, the effects seemed to get worse and worse I went In to full panic mode. So I called the non emergency hot line for advice I told them what I had done, he asked me to count my pulse which was racing so they said they will send an ambulance, it was as if my world had just collapsed in front of me, I wanted to run I wanted to turn back time and throw the joint away, I wanted to sit in a corner a cry. The ambulance finally came, I felt ashamed but I was still terrified, I kept asking them if I was making sense, how time feels really really slow they checked my pulse, blood pressure which were both fine. So we got to the hospital I was still feeling very paranoid and not myself but after half an hour or so of pacing I decided to go back home and sleep it off. My friend who had also smoked was no where near as affected as me, I know peoples tolerances are different but he had only tried it twice before, and also 3 other people had also smoked it and they were fine it was just me. So after arriving back home and having numerous panic attacks I fell asleep, the next day I felt woozy but not anything as bad as the night before. Over the next few days I got better, but my main concern is this Lightheadedness feeling that i have that I'am terrified is now permanent and that smoking that crap may have somehow damaged my brain or nerve endings for ever is this possible?? I'm full of pity and so regretful I was so so stupid and I wish I never ever smoked it, as 25 year old man I should of known better! This happened late Saturday night. just to add a bit more detail about this lightheaded feeling, it feels like I'am extremely spaced out, sometimes I feel as though i have some pressure around my head, i feel a bit confused like brain fog and my responses seem slower, and my memory doesn't seem as sharp