boxing day

[gem7]

ok i keep this short & sweet on xmas day i asked my mum could i come over to hers on boxing day she said i could but then when my mum left i was thinking did i make the right choice to say to go out to go to my mums my anxiety was bad on the day when my mum & her bf picked us up first tho went to shop to get somethings at first i was just going to wait in car then i desided to go in with my sister brother and mum i felt panic in shop was to much but i stuck it out & stayed my brother & sister went back to car and i stayed in the shop bit longer with my mum i was keep on telling my mum to go to the till but she was keep on looking around then finally we went to till then what happened mum said she needed her clubcard so i ran to the car to get it then when i came back i started to help my mum pack my mum said i was doing it wrong the things i put in she took out then i walked out i coudlnt take anymore the woman in shop must of think that wasnt nice of me leaveing but i did send my mums bf in to help instead then after that we went to hers i had food & some wine but i wasnt feeling good felt strange i hardly talked much just watched tv cos every time i talk it comes out all in a stutter i think whats the point in talking but i think i done well got asked to go to my mums on new years day i said see how i feel then when it came i didnt go said i didnt feel up to it but anyway i hope everyone here at no more panic had a nice xmas

[BenCaraccio]

Have you had this happen to you before? If so, could you give us a brief history into when it first started to happen and how you were feeling before, during and afterwards.

Cheers

Ben

[gem7]

yes i have had it happen to me before i joined this site may 15th 2012 so i say for 2 years i have been like this for be going on to three this year if i dont get better my anxiety first started 2 year ago since then i been like this but last year it was really at its worst & still is now i hide in my room i only go down stairs in the evening i find it hard to relax even in the house its hard to be calm getting panic in shops its getting worse its much easy just to hide away instead of being judged when i am out & people thinking i am weird i used to be happy & not care what people think that girl is gone this anxiety has changed me so much i think i gotten worse to do with my mum cos she got dementia & she has a disorder where she thinks people are following her & other things i dont like to go into it all i know its adding a lot of stress on me way she is when i do go out i hate when people pass me i cant look people in the eye i look to the floor i get scared being out 2014 is a new start but how can it be when i am still like this its a new year yes but i am still the same also i got depression but i suffered with that first before anxiety now i have both & i hate it the way its making me feel like am going crazy i just hoping i beat it this year cos i cant take much more i was going to drown myself in the bath in dec i put my head half in but i didnt do it in the end i even have urge to self harm just to make my self feel abit more better i just hate myself i am thinking maybe i be better off dead then i wouldnt be going through this anymore :sad:

[BenCaraccio]

Gem, you need to do something that took me 11 years to do...

You need to speak to our doctor and insist on treatment. I am now taking SSRI's and I am feeling a lot better for it.

[gem7]

thanks i dont feel up to seeing anyone at the mo or my doctor was going to see someone they were going to come to the house last year then my auntie died then i had to cancel i will have a word with my doctor when i go next but dont feel up to it at the mo

[BenCaraccio]

Make a specific appointment to see the doctors. Write a list of what is bothering you and tell them. It is easy to skip past the mental health part during an appointment for something else.

Ben xx

[gem7]

ok thanks