learning to drive

[Rosie2]

Hi everyone, so at the moment I really want to get a car / get insured on a car so I can learn to drive and be able to commute ect ect, only thing is I get really freaked out when driving. I think it was made worse because my first driving instructor took me on a main road on my first lesson, when I didn't know how to do ANYTHING! :/ I didn't even know where the clutch was, lol it was horrible

I was thinking about getting onto my parents insurance and then letting my dad teach me to drive, obviously I'd take a few lessons (when I'm more confident!) but the idea of having another driving lesson with a stranger makes me absolutely terrified and I have a fear of having panic attacks so I really can't imagine it atm

I also was thinking about taking my test in automatic, because I've tried manual and I HATED it - I know everyone says to take it in manual but does it really matter that much? I don't plan on ever driving a manual!

I was just wondering if anyone else suffers anxiety from driving and how you cope with it? And would it be really bad if I took my test in automatic (eventually?)

Thank you!

[nomorepanic]

My opinion is learn to use manual gears.

If you take the test in an automatic you won't be able to drive a manual car and that could seriously restrict you with the cars you can buy or drive

You will get used to it when you practice.

[nomorepanic]

Oh and get the instructor to take you on quiet wide roads and teach you how to use the gears etc before being on main roads.

[Fishmanpa]

My fiance' doesn't drive. I've been giving her lessons. She's actually not too nervous about it. Me on the other hand? I think I'm going to pay to get her lessons ~lol~

Positive thoughts

[Rennie1989]

I am very nervous to learn to drive. My first experience of a lesson was being taught by my brother-in-law the absolute basics and I got 'break' confused with 'accelerate' and I nearly crashed into a tombstone! That was over a year ago. My fear is crashing into fellow drivers or running pedestrains over and killing them. My husband is going to get driving lessons soon so I think I may sit with him (if he'll let me) or get him to teach me a few pointers before taking the road with an instructor.

I agree with Nicola in learning to drive a manual. I plan on driving an automatic in the future but will drive a manual for the test.

I'm not sure how insurance works in terms of learners, I think the provisional license is enough on any insurance (maybe except the very basic insurance plans) but if your dad is not happy teaching you then he or another friend or family member could sit in the car with you. Driving instructors have to be very patient and would have to have worked with anxious people so he'll be the best person around if you get a bit flustered.

[AnxietySufferer]

im 17 and have been having driving lessons.. i found that the first 5 LESSONS WERE THE WORST.. NO OVER EXAGGERATION.. i honestly thought i would never EVER be able to use the gears or the clutch.. The thing is when your underconfident, you always feel like your the worst, but in reality everyone struggles when they first start having lessons :D over time my instructor kept saying that the mistakes i were making were common in learners.. being perfectionist its hard to accept this, but at the end of the day.. the whole reason they have pedals is because they are prepared for learners to make mistakes.. if learners didnt make mistakes then there would be no point in instructors.. you have to remember that it is their JOB.. and they are definately used to people not having a clue, panicing and getting it wrong, in fact driving anxiety is very common.. i have loads of friends that dont suffer from anxiety but get EXTREMEMLY nervous for driving lessons.. its just somthing that takes time.. dont give up at the first hurddle :D .. i have put in for my driiving test and i never thought that would happen

[Edie]

I would definitely recommend getting a professional driving instructor to teach you instead of your dad. Knowing how to drive and knowing how to teach a beginner to drive are two very different things. Instructors are used to nervous drivers. If you explain how nervous you are after your last experience, they will take things slowly until you've built up the skills and confidence to venture out onto the main road. You could always bring someone with you as well if that helps you feel better.

It's better to have a manual licence if possible, as this gives you more flexibility. But automatic cars are becoming more common, and the prices are coming down. If you really can't get the hang of a manual car, then it would be better to have an automatic licence than no licence at all.

People seem to look down on an automatic licence, but I don't think they should. You still need to be able to drive safely on the roads! The only benefit of the manual licence is that you have more choice of cars and the car may be a little cheaper. Worth giving it another go in my opinion, but not worth sacrificing your independence over if you just can't get the hang of a manual car.

[shakey1961]

Definitely get a driving instructor to teach you, but do try and learn in a manual car. Pass your test in a manual car you can drive anything, pass it in an automatic you can only drive automatic.

Remember when you were little and you wanted to learn how to do things? Did you get them correct the first time you did it? No! But you kept at it and you learnt.

Once you're over the initial anxiety and have a few lessons under your belt, you can then get into your Dad's car and use it to practice in. As they say, Practice makes Perfect. That first lesson you had on a main road was silly and that shouldn't have happened, so put that down as a bad start, and now start again.

Do some research on the internet or in the phone book or local papers and try and find one that welcomes nervous drivers. Call a few up and explain the situation, you'll find a lot who are very sympathetic.

My Dad taught me to drive and I was driving with him for a whole year before I took some lessons before my test. Thankfully I passed first time. However, when I took the car out on my own for the first time, it was like learning all over again - I was nervous and only went round the block in it. Why? Because I realised I was alone, and it was my responsibility to make decisions on my own.

That was twenty plus years ago now. Yes I've had a few accidents, but driving for me is like breathing - you don't have to think about it. I do things (like indicating) without thinking, and when I think "Oh I must indicate" I find it's already on.

You go for it, in fact start calling some driving schools at the earliest opportunity after you've read these messages

I wish you luck

[NE21 worrier]

Hello Rosie,

Had to reply to this thread as I think learning to drive is one of the most nerve-wracking things you can do. Nevertheless, I would advise you keeping faith with the manual transmission as other have said. It'll serve you better in the long run.

Anyway, the reason I've replied is because I passed my driving test at the FIFTH attempt and yet I feel really confident on the road nowadays, having driven from Newcastle to Edinburgh, Reading and Glastonbury. I'm like a different person to when I was learning.

Even if you're a pretty cool cucumber, though, you'll finding driving lessons and tests difficult so it's no wonder that more tense folk like ourselves seem to struggle a bit.

With a good instructor, though, you can do it. By a good instructor, I mean that you need one who understands your personality, even to the point of you being clear that you have issues with anxiety.

I know this is a bit of a plug at this stage but this blog of mine (http://theintrepidreporter.blogspot.co.uk/2010/01/five-live-drive.html) when I eventually passed includes a whole diary of me going from a novice driver to a decent one.

Good luck and keep us posted :)
Peter