So fed up

[PanickyPolly]

My step dad came over last night to visit me...the only human being on the planet I ever have any contact with and he told me he blamed me for my mum's drinking. He didn't mean to be nasty he's just the king of insensitivity. He finds your weak spot and just picks at it. He also told me my friends mum hates me and he stressed the word HATE several times. I'm so sick of being hated. All I've ever been is hated. I've no idea why. I've always had so much love to give people.

[LickeyEndBlues]

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It was his opinion Polly and a very insensitive one at that. I can't print what I'm thinking about him at the moment.

It sounds to me he has issues and he is deflecting them onto you!!

Try to focus on what you want to give and not what he has said, easy to say but hard to do I know!!

Big hug

Iain
x

Laissez les bon temp roulez

[PanickyPolly]

Thanks Iain...it wasn't his opinion though she actually said it...he told me that she said she hated me because I let my friend down which I didn't as it goes. A couple of years back this same friend and I were due to go out to a concert and we'd been planning it for 3 months then the day before her mother rang me to cancel it saying my friend couldn't afford it and wasn't very well. I was fuming. I mean my friend is a 31 year old woman not a 12 year old child. Then more recently my friend asked me if I'd like to go to an event with her and I said yes but she didn't tell me when it was then she trings me up two days before the event to tell me when it is but I'd already made plans for that day. I told her I'd try to get back from where I was going in time but wasn't sure I'd be able to as I was relying on a lift. I then started ringing aournd to work things out and when I finally found out there was no way I could make it back in time (plus I was feeling ill and passing out with anxiety) I tried ringing her but she wasn't picking up her phone so I rang her mum and asked where she was (as she's often over there) but she wouldn't tell me. Now suddenly I've lt HER down. How rich!!!!!!

[creatrix]

Oh, well you're friend's mother is a nutter and your step father is an a...... I know that doesn't much help, but sometimes i think you have to be your own best friend. pamper yourself. have some nice snack, a hot bath, maybe get a massage or rent a good movie and just devote some time to making yourself feel safe and loved. I'm sorry you're hurt and hope you feel better soon! (((hugs)))

[PanickyPolly]

Thanks again guys. Saw him agin today he was kind enough to take to me the dentist and then take me shopping. He really does mean well he's just sooooooooooooo insensitive. He remindded me again today how much my friend's mum HATES me. Why say those things when I haev a complex about people hating me? His deafness is also much worse even though he spent 3k on hearing aids that don't work and I'm having to shout everything I say as he doesn't hear me. very frustrating. I also feel quite manipulative sometimes milking him for all the affection and attention I can get. As I'm starved of it though all I do is sniff for tid bits of it wherever I can find it.

[PITITA]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS TO YOU)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) xxxxxxxx

"If you magnify your imperfections and minimize your good points, you're guaranteed to feel inferior. But the problem isn't YOU its- its the crazy lenses you are wearing! " Feeling Good handbook

[PanickyPolly]

Thanks Pitita :)