Kells xx
13-01-14, 21:15
Ugh! I'm soooooo fed up!
My health anxiety stemmed from an abnormal smear test in 2007, which all turned out fine bla bla bla but I had a pretty bad time of it from then until about 2010 when it all came to a head with me in tears on a doctor at my local surgery.
She spoke to me about how I was feeling and what sort of life and history I had etc. My mum has been very ill for most of my adult life and my doctor thinks this is a major reason that I feel the way I do. I get absolutely consumed by it. Anyway, after that chat I was pretty much fine from then until very recently.
My mum has started to deteriorate in the last few months and this could definitely have been a trigger for my HA coming back. I have an amazing boyfriend now and we are moving in together this year after being together the last 3 years, all is going amazingly well until we had unprotected sex a few weeks ago and for whatever reason I totally freaked out that I might've given him some horrible disease. I have no reason to think it, no real reason to think I've ever caught anything, but that was it. Screwed for the last few weeks. I've gone through warts, herpes but more importantly I decided I've
Got hiv, caught from someone I slept with 11 years ago. My only ever one night stand and I was an idiot! And never thought anything of it until this point.
I then decided I have thrush in my mouth. I have a slight white build up at the back - no soreness or anything so likely just old bits of food and I need to brush my tongue more.
Now I feel itching down below - I think maybe thrush again but who knows.
I know the only way to alleviate this one is to take a test after all this time. Although I've felt slightly better since reading the real hiv statistics about the likelihood of this being the case.
I just wanted to come on for a moan really. I really hate myself at the moment for letting this drag me back in, it's evil
Xx
My health anxiety stemmed from an abnormal smear test in 2007, which all turned out fine bla bla bla but I had a pretty bad time of it from then until about 2010 when it all came to a head with me in tears on a doctor at my local surgery.
She spoke to me about how I was feeling and what sort of life and history I had etc. My mum has been very ill for most of my adult life and my doctor thinks this is a major reason that I feel the way I do. I get absolutely consumed by it. Anyway, after that chat I was pretty much fine from then until very recently.
My mum has started to deteriorate in the last few months and this could definitely have been a trigger for my HA coming back. I have an amazing boyfriend now and we are moving in together this year after being together the last 3 years, all is going amazingly well until we had unprotected sex a few weeks ago and for whatever reason I totally freaked out that I might've given him some horrible disease. I have no reason to think it, no real reason to think I've ever caught anything, but that was it. Screwed for the last few weeks. I've gone through warts, herpes but more importantly I decided I've
Got hiv, caught from someone I slept with 11 years ago. My only ever one night stand and I was an idiot! And never thought anything of it until this point.
I then decided I have thrush in my mouth. I have a slight white build up at the back - no soreness or anything so likely just old bits of food and I need to brush my tongue more.
Now I feel itching down below - I think maybe thrush again but who knows.
I know the only way to alleviate this one is to take a test after all this time. Although I've felt slightly better since reading the real hiv statistics about the likelihood of this being the case.
I just wanted to come on for a moan really. I really hate myself at the moment for letting this drag me back in, it's evil
Xx