JamesJ
13-01-14, 23:08
What a year 2013 was! I got released from prison in February after spending 12 months inside (white collar crime). I get out, and have to live at my parents whilst my girlfriend is homeless. We finally get a place together, I get my business started again, everything goes smoothly and then BOOM I get Cancer.
I was diagnosed in July 2013. Don't really talk too much about this, but I am feeling in high panic mode right now so I decided to kick off a conversation.
I was in the shower whilst living at my moms (early June) and I was positive my testicle felt a little hard. I put it down to sleeping on my moms sofa and being forced to lie in awkward positions. Either that or sex.
I left it a week, moved into my new house, and started on my new business. A week later there was no improvement so I booked an appointment with the doctor. 2 weeks after that I was having my testicle removed.
It's odd though, because before I noticed the hard testicle I had noticed 2 symptoms, and I believe I actually made posts here about them. One symptom was no ejaculation. I orgasmed, but nothing came out. I spoke on here about this and I figured it was a side effect of citralopram, as it's a known side effect. The second symptom was a nose bleed during sex. This never happened to me in my life, just this once.
It's odd how those two symptoms occurred and 2 weeks later I was being tested for Cancer.
It was one heck of an experience. Imagine going through Cancer without anxiety. Then imagine going through it as a person who suffers with severer anxiety. Let me tell you it was a nasty experience.
Everything happened so fast for me that I didn't even get time to think about what was happening.
The operation to have the testicle removed was very scarey. I have never had an operation, and at 29 this was my first. It was classed as a "simple" operation. They cut an incision in the groin and pull the testicle out, and stitch you back up. Didn't feel simple to me. They pushed me up to the operating rooms and I was so scared I was shaking. A nurse had to hold my hand whilst they gave me anaesthetic.
The odd thing was, as soon as they pump it into your veins, within 3 seconds I was waking up.
The waking up from the operation was nasty. The pain killers they used gave me the worst PAC's/PVC's I've ever had. I was let home 2 hours after the operation, but the PAC's and PVC's stayed with me for 24 hours after the operation and they were nasty.
So, yeah, I waited 2 weeks to be told I had Stage 1 testicle Cancer. I caught it early. I had a choice of surveillance or 1 dose of Chemo.
I opted for the Chemo, just to be sure that the Cancer was gone.
This was awful though. Sitting in hospital having Chemo pumped into you. I had at least 10 panic attacks within the first 30 minutes. My mom was so worried for me she got a nurse. Apparently I turned white.
The chemo was outpatient. Took about 2 hours, then I was let home. I actually handled the side effects of chemo pretty well actually. I was "under the weather" for about a week. But in all fairness I've had worse hangovers, and worse cases of the flu.
I had a blood test 2 weeks after the chemo which showed a false positive. One of my cancer markers had increased by a tiny amount and I was told I need to wait 3 weeks and give another blood test.
This was an anxious time for me. During those 3 weeks I smashed 2 laptops, numerous cups and plates, and got drunk almost every day to the point of passing out. Horrible. I self harmed. I stood ontop of a multi story car park and contemplated jumping. It was awful.
But, I had the test, and the marker went down, and they put it down to past alcohol abuse that caused the levels to rise.
And now. It's the new year. I had my blood tests a week ago, and they came back fine. So I'm still Cancer free.
I'm not anxiety free though. FAR FROM THAT! I can rarely leave the house. I can't get on any form of transport. I refuse medication because I part believe that it had something to do with the Cancer.
But, I can deal with the anxiety. I have done for years.
And ... that's me. I think I killed my anxiety attack before it even started whilst typing this. YAY! I hope others find something positive in what I've wrote.
:D
I was diagnosed in July 2013. Don't really talk too much about this, but I am feeling in high panic mode right now so I decided to kick off a conversation.
I was in the shower whilst living at my moms (early June) and I was positive my testicle felt a little hard. I put it down to sleeping on my moms sofa and being forced to lie in awkward positions. Either that or sex.
I left it a week, moved into my new house, and started on my new business. A week later there was no improvement so I booked an appointment with the doctor. 2 weeks after that I was having my testicle removed.
It's odd though, because before I noticed the hard testicle I had noticed 2 symptoms, and I believe I actually made posts here about them. One symptom was no ejaculation. I orgasmed, but nothing came out. I spoke on here about this and I figured it was a side effect of citralopram, as it's a known side effect. The second symptom was a nose bleed during sex. This never happened to me in my life, just this once.
It's odd how those two symptoms occurred and 2 weeks later I was being tested for Cancer.
It was one heck of an experience. Imagine going through Cancer without anxiety. Then imagine going through it as a person who suffers with severer anxiety. Let me tell you it was a nasty experience.
Everything happened so fast for me that I didn't even get time to think about what was happening.
The operation to have the testicle removed was very scarey. I have never had an operation, and at 29 this was my first. It was classed as a "simple" operation. They cut an incision in the groin and pull the testicle out, and stitch you back up. Didn't feel simple to me. They pushed me up to the operating rooms and I was so scared I was shaking. A nurse had to hold my hand whilst they gave me anaesthetic.
The odd thing was, as soon as they pump it into your veins, within 3 seconds I was waking up.
The waking up from the operation was nasty. The pain killers they used gave me the worst PAC's/PVC's I've ever had. I was let home 2 hours after the operation, but the PAC's and PVC's stayed with me for 24 hours after the operation and they were nasty.
So, yeah, I waited 2 weeks to be told I had Stage 1 testicle Cancer. I caught it early. I had a choice of surveillance or 1 dose of Chemo.
I opted for the Chemo, just to be sure that the Cancer was gone.
This was awful though. Sitting in hospital having Chemo pumped into you. I had at least 10 panic attacks within the first 30 minutes. My mom was so worried for me she got a nurse. Apparently I turned white.
The chemo was outpatient. Took about 2 hours, then I was let home. I actually handled the side effects of chemo pretty well actually. I was "under the weather" for about a week. But in all fairness I've had worse hangovers, and worse cases of the flu.
I had a blood test 2 weeks after the chemo which showed a false positive. One of my cancer markers had increased by a tiny amount and I was told I need to wait 3 weeks and give another blood test.
This was an anxious time for me. During those 3 weeks I smashed 2 laptops, numerous cups and plates, and got drunk almost every day to the point of passing out. Horrible. I self harmed. I stood ontop of a multi story car park and contemplated jumping. It was awful.
But, I had the test, and the marker went down, and they put it down to past alcohol abuse that caused the levels to rise.
And now. It's the new year. I had my blood tests a week ago, and they came back fine. So I'm still Cancer free.
I'm not anxiety free though. FAR FROM THAT! I can rarely leave the house. I can't get on any form of transport. I refuse medication because I part believe that it had something to do with the Cancer.
But, I can deal with the anxiety. I have done for years.
And ... that's me. I think I killed my anxiety attack before it even started whilst typing this. YAY! I hope others find something positive in what I've wrote.
:D