ReissG
14-01-14, 10:20
The blood test came in the mail today so I'm going to wait for my friend before I do it, this is going to be toughest experience of my life because for once the problem isn't just inside my head. I am at risk and I can barely accept it, even though it's low it's still a risk. I feel hurt, angry, sad, disappointed, dirty.
The love I felt for my boyfriend has just started to die, when I think of him right now I just feel sick, his body touching me and kissing him, I want to vomit.
I am a good person and I always look after myself, I have had 1 sexual partner in my life and that 1 partner is at risk and it's the man I love, he didn't tell me he never had a test and I was too young and naive to ask him when we first got together, I was 18 and coming to terms with who I was and I had this gorgeous man that I was falling for to help me through it and fall inlove with, HIV was the last thing on my mind.
Oral sex HIV is an extremely low risk for HIV, some people even say it's zero because they think people use it as an excuse so they don't have to admit to anal sex. The boys my boyfriend was with were as young as him and hadn't been with many people, just people like themselves, they weren't sleeping with people older and at high risk, they were just 18 years old so that again leaves a small chance, he told me he did perform oral sex on someone high risk but they had very regular tests and were clean, I just hope it wasn't a lie.
Well thank you for being here for me, all of you are so kind and sweet and I am grateful everytime you speak to me because although you are strangers, the anxiety relation I have with you all makes me more calm then speaking to a love one does.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart <3
The love I felt for my boyfriend has just started to die, when I think of him right now I just feel sick, his body touching me and kissing him, I want to vomit.
I am a good person and I always look after myself, I have had 1 sexual partner in my life and that 1 partner is at risk and it's the man I love, he didn't tell me he never had a test and I was too young and naive to ask him when we first got together, I was 18 and coming to terms with who I was and I had this gorgeous man that I was falling for to help me through it and fall inlove with, HIV was the last thing on my mind.
Oral sex HIV is an extremely low risk for HIV, some people even say it's zero because they think people use it as an excuse so they don't have to admit to anal sex. The boys my boyfriend was with were as young as him and hadn't been with many people, just people like themselves, they weren't sleeping with people older and at high risk, they were just 18 years old so that again leaves a small chance, he told me he did perform oral sex on someone high risk but they had very regular tests and were clean, I just hope it wasn't a lie.
Well thank you for being here for me, all of you are so kind and sweet and I am grateful everytime you speak to me because although you are strangers, the anxiety relation I have with you all makes me more calm then speaking to a love one does.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart <3