View Full Version : Two and a half months in...
So I just thought I'd write about being 2 1/2 months in ... see if anyone has any opinions or whatnot!
It's been a rocky road to this point - I've been on 20 mg all the way I never had the courage to go to 30 mg as my life can't take the disruption of more side effects.
Has it worked for me? Yes - to an extent. I can function now - get up, get the kids up, go to work, concentrate at work, cook tea... I'm certainly not the wreck I was 3 months ago. I have control of my mind enough to make the counselling work, make the self help work and begin to reprogram myself. I can laugh, I can have fun - some of the time.
My problem with citalopram has been the blips and the ongoing side effects.
The side effects which have never abated are the incredibly poor sleep I'm getting and the problems in the bedroom (ahem :blush:). I could probably live with that.
But the blips have been horrendous for me - week long sessions of high anxiety, tremors, sweating, run away thoughts, "cortisol mornings" - the full spectrum of start up symptoms returning every other damn week. I'm so used to having them now that I can keep functioning... I just don't care but it's not a great way to spend 5 - 7 days.
For example: last Thursday I went counselling - completed a GAD7 and scored close to a normal score. I was feeling great! Relaxed, planning my weekend, planning rebuilding my touring bike. By Friday I felt a blip coming on and by Saturday I was right back at day 1. I've slowly dragged my way back out of this blip until today where I'm feeling I'm getting some control back having read and posted on here like crazy and done every relaxation technique I can throw at myself.
So I'm kinda getting a bit sick of the side-effect merry-go-round. And at 2 1/2 months I thought it might be diminishing. Have I given the drug enough time to work? I don't know. Is this normal? I don't know. Am I ready to give up?Probably not. At least I'm functioning now. Just about.
I'm seeing the Doctor on Friday to cautiously chat about my options but I'm so reluctant to start messing around with myself again.
Anyway - musings over. I'll report back on Friday!
Hi teej
It sounds as if the dose is not strong enough but blips are common for most of us, if you cant face more side effects from a higher dose perhaps its time to talk to your doctor about alternative tablets that could help you. Hope Friday go's well. :)
Thanks Ray!
Going up to 30 mg is certainly the lesser evil of coming off the stuff and swapping onto another SSRI currently.
I knew there'd be blips but I just thought I'd feel anxious and sad... not full blown SSRI side-effect style blips at 2 1/2 months in! But then maybe I'm expecting too much. :wacko:
I'll keep you posted about Friday - I've come up with some things I want to say / ask so I've got a game plan!
Hi teej I am now in my 8th week, 3 of these being on 10, and my sleep is getting worse if anything, the good thing is I do go off straight away after having a read but from 1am this morning I saw every hour, I think I nodded off in between until 4 and then I was awake till 7 when the radio comes on, by this time the tension in my body was unbearable, I think if it was the summer I could cope better at least have a read without waking everyone else up with the lights on, my partner says he doesn't mind me putting the lights on but it isn't fair and if I got up the dogs would think it is a cue to go out, good thing is my Mum who is 93 who lives with us seems to sleep through anything, how I envy her, I will be interested to hear how you get on on Friday, I have to see my GP next Thursday and was hoping to tell him that things are starting to get better.
Hey guys,
I suffered the sleep loss thing pretty badly . All i can say to you is that it does improve with time. My sleep was disturbed from the time i started taking CIT. I was on 30mg for a period and i found i kept waking up at 3 or 4 in the morning. I went back down to 20MG and things seemed to settle. I now sleep right through and haver done for months. You have to remember that CIT is a powerful drug and the body needs to adjust to it. 30MG did help greatly but i always felt tired and medicated on it. On 20MG I still get anxious moments but generally I'm fine. Remember if you have to increase for a period, you can always reduce again when things settle. I know it's hard but try not let the sleep thing get you down. It upset me at first and then i just went to bed with the attitude that if i sleep i sleep and if i don't it won't kill me. When i woke i'd just read a book. Hope that helps a little
Hi Deliby, thanks for your help, I know it does get better as this happened when I took it first time round but for some reason it just seems a lot worse this time, maybe it was because it was summer then, lighter mornings, the whole process seems a lot worse and a lot longer to sort itself out this time but hopefully we will get there.:)
I'm on 40mg and it is the sleep thing I am struggling with too. I am in a very similar pattern, waking at 3 / 4 am before eventually drifting off again an hour or two later after what can be some intensive thinking and over-analysis.
Week 3 and I generally feel better - my triggers are still there but deeper down, they seem to be quite intense when they strike but I am hoping they gradually wear off after another week or two.
Haven taken Cit before, I think the key is patience. But all this wanting to feel better is making me even more anxious!!!
I would say to anyone that it takes 2-3 months before things settle. If you still felt awful after that period then the dosage is incorrect. The start up period is very difficult but just take it a day at a time. Eat, well, exercise when you can and try keep in your normal routine.
I would say to anyone that it takes 2-3 months before things settle. If you still felt awful after that period then the dosage is incorrect. The start up period is very difficult but just take it a day at a time. Eat, well, exercise when you can and try keep in your normal routine.
Thanks Deliby. It is defo one day at a time, but I am trying to stay positive - I have used Cit before and know things will be much better eventually.
One other thing that surprised me is that my libido is greatly reduced! I know it is a common side effect - I was on a lower dose last time so maybe that's why.
Mine has reduced greatly too. It went completely for a while and then gradually came back even when i was on 30MG. On 20MG it's better but not what it used to be. I've just accepted this as I'm grateful to feel OK. I'm spending the next 6 weeks gradually reducing to 10MG so I will be curious to see if my libido increases as I go further down.
I would say to anyone that it takes 2-3 months before things settle. If you still felt awful after that period then the dosage is incorrect. The start up period is very difficult but just take it a day at a time. Eat, well, exercise when you can and try keep in your normal routine.
It's the side effects coming on during the blips... or blips with side effects. I don't know. But that's the feeling awful for me.
Dosage incorrect as in not enough I presume...?
Sounds like a plan teej going up to 30 has helped me an starting to have fun again , don't get me wrong I'm still not perfect and mornings are still shit as wake up early but been like that for so long I guess it's my body clock that has adjusted to silly o'clock :( . Think it's worth a try b4 you suffer side affects of coming off and the hole starting again .
Take care x
Thanks Tristan. I'm so pleased you're starting to feel better.
Coming off the citalopram entirely is certainly not something I'm keen on doing and agreed I should probably just "man up" and take the 30mg like the last doctor said. It's not even like it's not worked for me, I've had some seriously good anxiety free periods, but when the drug isn't working for me it's utter hell.
We'll see what the doctor says this morning. Maybe they've invented a new wonder drug last weekend they can give me. :D
Today's visit is more of a second opinion type and "what's the options available to me?" visit. Whether or not I get my ass kicked for doing this I don't know. :scared15:
NorthernGeek
17-01-14, 10:45
I've been on 40mg for four weeks now which even though I am far from being 'better' has made a huge difference compared to when I was only on 20mg.
When I saw my doctor last week he said that I should continue to improve, but for me the drug seems to work in straight lines. Five weeks on 20mg did hardly anything at all, but within a day of starting on 40mg I felt a big improvement. Unfortunately nothing has really changed since than & whilst I am grateful that my problems are now much more manageable, I can still feel them in the background waiting for chances to takeover again.
Last weekend I had a blip that lasted three days & I was worried that I was slipping backwards, but luckily it seems to have subsided & I am now back to feeling the same as that second day on 40mg again.
My doctor also discussed in my last visit the possibility of trying an even higher dose since 40mg had produced such an immediate improvement, but I've read that doses of 50mg & above are no longer recommended due to some people having adverse side-effects. Hopefully when I see the clinical psychologist in a few weeks she will be able to suggest ways for me to improve further without increasing to 50mg or above.
Whatever you decide about medication levels, I hope things start to improve for you soon.
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