The wall of emotion

[wilsano]

I've been experiencing this all my life. It is when my anxiety changes theme I feel anxiety for say the first day then I am able to build a wall and block it out.

In doing so I also block out every other emotion.

I can't remember the last time I felt any emotion rather than some anxiety.

I've been in this state now for around 7 months with this constant no emotion.

Spoke to my psych about it, he explained it's a safety mechanism and I now have to try and grab any slight hint of emition I think I feel.

Anyone had any experience with this sort of thing.

My current theme is towards my feeling towards my girlfriend and it feels like the only way to escape it is to break up. The not feeling any emotions and no emotion towards her kills me.

[harasgenster]

Hi there
I had therapy for this. I found two things helpful in identifying what emotions I was feeling. One therapist used different shaped shells and stones for me to pick up. So she would say imagine so and so happening, or remember this particular time, and then I would pick up the shell or stone that 'looked' most like the situation and then on describing it I would realise what kind of emotion I was talking about - that's a bit vague, but I think it worked because I mostly think in images, so it might not be great for everyone.

The other thing I did was mindfulness training. It's difficult to explain but if you concentrate on how you feel on the inside you can kind of tell there's some kind of emotion going on and then you just try to find the right word for the emotion. If you can't find the right word then you just focus on the feeling (sometimes it's like a pit in your stomach, for example, or even just a feeling of emptiness is still a feeling) and you realise that it is an emotion you are feeling and that the emotion will pass. The more time you spend concentrating on your insides and noticing what exactly you are experiencing at the time, the easier it is to identify what emotions you are experiencing I find.

I'm much better at knowing how I feel now and it has shown through the way I speak. Now I say 'I feel this' rather than 'I think this', because I can tell the difference.

My therapist told me that gaining access to your emotions and being able to feel them and tell how you're feeling is a really important part of recovery and once you've mastered it you can never go back - it's a great way to stop your relapsing, basically.

Good luck and ask about mindfulness or more creative ways to find out what you're feeling if you feel that you would be comfortable with and connect with more symbolic exercises like I did with the shells and stones.