Panic caused by being too strong?!

[beauty]

I wondered if anyone else is like me and thinks one of the causes of your panic is being too strong during difficult times?

I've amazed people in the past with how strong/brave I've been during difficult situations. An example is in 2012 a close elderly family member was very ill and we had been warned they may only have weeks left to live. I went to see them (they were in bed at home) before heading for work and found them dead. Thinking back it was frightening. I was very close to this person. But at the time I didnt even cry, instead I went and calmly informed my family who were elsewhere in the house and spent the day arranging the funeral and declaring the death. I never did get upset, I was sad but not upset as such. I was even worried the rest of my family might think I didn't care about the death. I'm like this with everything including work, I never let anything get to me and actually pride myself on this most of the time and feel it has got me far in my career.

BUT I find the stress builds up inside without me even knowing it and it will suddenly come out in the form of panic phases (which I'm going through right now). I feel if I was a generally weaker person on a day to day basis and let my emotions come out at the time of stress this wouldn't even happen. I actually see being a strong person as a curse in many respects.

I don't know what I wanted to get out of this post, I was just curious if anyone else is similar to me?

[LunaLiuna]

I think I may be having a similar experience at the moment to be honest, I've always been pretty strong but after 3 years of holding all my emotions in and always trying to be positive it's all burst out.

[beauty]

Yes thats exactly how I feel. I haven't had a panic related episode for 6 years then out of no-where it just started next week and it's already consuming me and affecting every element of my life. It's so frustrating as it feels like it's come out of nowhere because everything has been going well recently, but then technically it is probably a result of stressful things that have happened in the last 6 years suddenly all coming out at once.

I just really hope I bounce back and it is just my body needing to let off some steam, and that once it has done so I will recover. Right now its hard to imagine bouncing back though, I've lost all my usual positivity..

[mandie]

I agree with this.

I had a lot going on in my life but carried on and everyone said what a strong person I was.

Years later, the panic and anx started and I think it was a result of carrying on through all the things that had happened as I feel like im weak if I cant deal with things on my own etc

mandie x

[beauty]

Did you find it went away again after a while, as though you're body has managed to let off all the stress?

That's what I've found in the past but its hard to imagine it ever going away right now.

[MargaretHale]

Definitely, for years if there was a crisis or a problem I was the one to sort it. I cared for my dad in illness, my partner left me when I was expecting our first baby and although things upset me, I always picked myself up and got on with things. I think this is why, going into my third year of anxiety and agoraphobia, I'm so sad about it all. I don't understand why I can't sort myself out.

My mum is a big one for 'stiff upper lip' and always told me not to show emotions, but these days all I seem to do is cry. :(

[jcd_gad]

Hi,

Look for a book, depression curse of the strong.... Excellent read on this..

[MrAndy]

Hi,

Look for a book, depression curse of the strong.... Excellent read on this..
the author was on radio two last week

[jcd_gad]

Hi,

Thanks! Which program i'll download it...

[MrAndy]

Hi,

Thanks! Which program i'll download it...
friday jeremy vine ,i emailed in but they didnt read it out :)

[Rennie1989]

Whilst I have felt exhausted (mentally) for being strong I find it is an opportunity to learn that I can be strong during difficult situations, which further makes me stronger! I managed to care for my mum when she broke her ankle whilst I was being badly bullied at school and I recently helped a friend through depression whilst trying to cope with my own stress, anxiety and low mood. It's definitely a distraction from my own problems and makes me feel tons better for helping others.

[WhyWhyWhy]

Yes this makes perfect sense to me.

I was so screwed on, so logical and so level headed.

Now I'm in my 30's I feel like I've back tracked, I feel like I'm not strong at all, in fact I feel weak. I still can't bring myself to show emotions, I haven't cried in front of my parents since I was a child, not even at funerals. I find it hard to show emotions. I bottle it all up and let it out when I'm on my own. I feel like a I need a hug. I feel needy and for once in my life I feel like I need someone to look after me and tell me it'll all be ok. I actually feel desperate writing that :blush:

[beauty]

I understand that feeling. I think being too strong does catch up with you eventually. I have felt very vulnerable and sorry for myself recently during this panic phase and for once I'm enjoying the attention and extra hugs I'm getting from people, usually I don't like or need that kind of thing but right now I think I need the attention.