Back again, with a new, scarier worry

[janine84]

I was worried for the past few months about my health. I thought I had MS or something similar. I mean, I had ALL the symptoms. I still have some symptoms. But I don't care about that any more; I've moved on to something scarier.

I am terrified my 5 month old is showing early signs of autism. Like, CONSUMED by it. I can't see her normally any more because I am constantly looking for things that could be an early sign of ASD. Please, parents, if anyone has gone through anything similar please help. This is awful and there doesn't seem to be any parents having anxiety attacks over this like I am. So scared.

[RoseEve]

I went through this with my son when he was 12 months old. It terrified me. I still think about it sometimes because he only says a handful of words and now he is 19 months. I also worried a little with my 3 year daughter when she was 18 months. She is fine of course. I don't believe my son is autistic. The truth is I let go of the fear by asking myself what if he is autistic? I love him just the way he is. I would always make sure he was happy. My best friend gave birth to a baby that passed away at a month old due to birth defects and that is what really snapped me out of it. The day her baby passed my son was bouncing a ball outside and I realized she would never see her baby do that. So now if he is autistic I don't really care. Everyday is a gift with my children. I hope this helped :)

[cpe1978]

Hi - I spent 3 years running a disabled children's charity and prior to that commissioned disabled children's services for a large local authority. Consequently I have spent many years working with parents of children with autism. I don't have an autistic child myself but would say that firstly it is exceptionally unlikely you would be able to tell too muh at 5 months old, if anything at all. Secondly, autism is a spectrum and the vast majority of people who fall within it function perfectly well. You are thinking about the tiny tiny minority who have rea difficulties. However I am good friends with families in exactly that position and they lead perfectly happy lives.

That said - the chances of your child having autism are still remote so get on and enjoy them being a baby :)

[janine84]

Thank you both for the replies - I really need to snap put of it and enjoy this precious time with my baby girl. I get so scared when I see she's not doing things like rolling from her back to her front and she also squeals instead of laughing right now. We go to baby groups and she loves the social interaction. Maybe it's time to consider going back on medication.

[cpe1978]

My daughter was useless physically and in many regards still is and she is 6. My son can relatively capably play tennis at 2.5. My point is that each child is different. My daughter was a nightmare to make laugh, wheras by son has done little else. At six she is delightful, sociable and very intelligent. Each is different and each acquires skills at different rates, your job is just to creat opportunities for them to learn. :)

[janine84]

I feel like no matter what she's doing I find SOMETHING that MIGHT be an indication of a problem. She was sleeping well and I worried that wasn't normal, now she's waking numerous times a night and against. I think something's wrong. She used to tolerate the bath but now she hates it again. I feel like she used to babble more. I put so much pressure on myself and HER, my precious baby. It's just awful. Staying away from Google for now (at least, going to try to). I want to enjoy this time with my little girl.

[cpe1978]

Just to reiterate - having had two children. Nothing you say sounds in the slightest bit unusual :)

[janine84]

Thank you so much :)

[cpe1978]

I went from having a child who slept well to one that took two hours to settle and then routinely was awake between 2 and 5. She now sleeps well again and is wonderful.

[janine84]

Maeve is the same... and although she can roll over from her tummy to back, sometimes she just won't and will lay there and eventually cry. Had a mini breakdown this morning when that happened yet again
Her eye contact & social skills are great but I worry so much about her physical development :(

Also because she's my first I don't really have a baseline to know when I should actually be concerned. I mean, two months ago I was thrilled with her development and now I'm just terrified she's regressing. Makes me want to cry; I feel so helpless.

[cpe1978]

There is no baseline. My niece is 18 months old and still showing no signs of walking. In all likelihood she is just a lazy arse ;) Both my kids were slow to walk, roll, crawl etc, but it all balances out in the end.

It is impossible with a first child (which I presume this is) because all you are guided by is books and a combination of everyone else's 'perfect' babies. To give you an example, when Maisie was born, for six months all she did was feed and cry - literally, nothing else (apart from occasional and I mean occasional sleep).

Having had many many friends with babies of the same age throughout my daughter's development, the main thing I learned is that no two develop the same. As for rolling over, for months and months, Maisie could only roll one way. She kept on hitting walls and getting frustrated so we had to turn her around and start again.

Having kids is always going to be scary, but just turn up occasionally to health visitor clinics to get her weighed and they should allay any fears you have.

[janine84]

Thanks again; you've been so helpful and very reassuring!

[mgritton34]

Hi am new on here but thought I could offer some advice my daughter has autism but at 5 months old I did not have a clue she was any different. They wouldn't even test her till she was three years old because some are late developers physically she hit every milestone it was her speech that never came on. From everything u have said nothing sounds like ur little girl has autism I really wouldnt worry now like the others have said enjoy your little girl they grow up quick. :)

[janine84]

Thanks very much for that :) I've stopped reading all those infant development websites and have calmed down a bit.

[cattia]

Hi, just wanted to say that I have been through this fear with both my children. They are now 4 and 2.5 and as far as I can tell both developing normally although I still go through bad times with this obsession and worry about all kinds of little things they do. I believe this is a million times worse than any fear I have had about my own health, because it affects your relationship with your child. I know how awful this worry is and I believe it is quite common with HA because it's the kind of condition with a million babies symptoms that we tend to latch on to.