Please help me stop the fear rising in me

[worriedmummy1]

Hi

Its a while since I've been on here, the last time was about 3 years ago after having my second baby and my anxiety kicked in big time. I have been ok since then. But 2013 was one heck of a year for me and my HA particuarly came bag good and strong. This time is is a fear of cancer, but i am dealing with that.

The fear which has arisen this morning is an old fear - a fear of HIV. That was my fear after having my daughter and that I had somehow contracted it during her birth or various places after her birth. I had a test which was negative. However today has sparked the fear again.

I am sorry if this is too much information on what I am about to give, but I need to explain so you can help me push the fear away.

I came on my period today and went to the loo at work (I work in a hospital) to use a tampon. The tampon fell on the floor before I had chance to use it. I picked it up and gave it a brief wipe with some toile paper I had dabbed under the tap and used it. Anyway, I didnt end up using it, but it had been inserted in and I took it out again.

So, you can see where I am leading with this - now I am thinking, what if the tampon fell in some fluid on the floor that contained HIV, then i put it in and now I have it. Irrational I am sure, but this is how it goes.

So my mind is thinking, what if you didnt see what it dropped in, what if you have it now. What would a rational person do in this situation - probably carry on and not give it a second thought. Please help me with this. Tash x

[MoodyBlue]

Hi Tash,

I am pretty sure that there is no way that you could have contracted HIV in the situation you have described, never mind the unlikely chance of someone with HIV being in the toilet before you and depositing some of their body fluid. I know it feels real but it's your anxiety causing the irrational fear and you must believe this, you have not contracted HIV.

Take care and try to stop worrying (if only I could practice what I preach :))

[worriedmummy1]

Thank you. I know you're right and a rational person would not even think about HIV or anything along those lines. I really need to beleive I dont have it. x

[MoodyBlue]

You really do. For those of us who suffer from anxiety, rationalising things isn't one of our best skills :winks: If I thought for a second that you were at risk, I would suggest that you go and get yourself checked, but you're not so just try to put those negative thoughts to bed. Take care x

[worriedmummy1]

I've shared my worries with colleagues and they say they wouldnt have even considered my thought, other than if it was them 'on b*gger, dropped it!.

Anyone else think the same as moodyblue? I've googled and found a person asking a similar question (not this site) and the answer was no you couldnt catch it, but I'm aware not all info is correct. Thanks for reading xx

[Timisnotmyname]

MoodyBlue is bang on. I can't comment on the tampon (being a bloke) but I would have thought that the chance of catching anything would be zero.
Our minds are always racing away with the most extreme visions of what could happen. It's like having that old chap from Dad's Army in your head whispering "doomed, we're all doomed" all the time. Ignore the old sod he lies a lot :)

[worriedmummy1]

Thank you Timisnotmyname - I'll try to remember the the dads army thing. I have been up and down over the last week. i told my gp of my worry and he said I didnt need to be concerned, even if the tampon had fallen in blood with hiv in it, I still wouldnt have caught it.

I wish my little voice that says 'he might be wrong, protect your family from you in case you give it to the kids and your husband' would go away, it is so strong at times. :wacko:

[Follow The Sun]

Hi Tash

I know it's hard not to worry when stupid Health Anxiety gets its claws into you but I think you're fine. The NHS website says: "It is a fragile virus and does not live very long outside the body." Use official sources of info like the NHS or HIV charities who are the real experts - Dr Google is crazy.

You are definitely not alone with the "what if" thoughts, I come up with some real gems: "but what if this happened, and then this, and then this, and then this, and then that's how I get ill..."

Keep battling it!!

[saab]

Hiv doesn't survive outside the body for long at all. The chances of the hiv virus being on the floor at all are virtually nil (floor will have been mopped), and even if it was on the floor it wouldn't have survived long. You also need quite a lot of it to pick it up, not just say a speck of blood that you couldn't see. I am sure you will fine.

When I get anxious about my pvcs, I sometimes do a cbt exercise where I list the reasons for my anxiety in one column, then the logical response in the next column. Seeing it written down as evidence helps to make me think more logically.