Heart obsession is ruining my life

[Spondoolicks]

I feel like I'm going insane with this problem that I have and I know I'm making it worse by my own thinking. I have an obsession with the thought that I am going to have a heart attack or heart disease. I do smoke and I'm trying to quit. My partner has been very supportive throughout my breakdown and I feel like I am ruining his and my childrens lives with this. I don't really get any pain in my chest area just pains that are I believe muscle tension in my left shoulder, down my arm and Ito my neck. I was rushed to hospital a few months ago and I was put on an ECG. No one really told me anything about it but presumed it must have been ok as they sent me home. I have since then become more and more sensitive to the feelings I get around my chest area. I have googled far too much and now wish I could unread all the stuff I have read. I am not on any medication as I have a phobia about taking medications because of the side effects. I can't even convince myself to take the beta blockers the doctor prescribed. My partner is getting more and more frustrated with me as he has been through anxiety and has pulled himself through. I feel like I'm letting him down with not following through with his advice. Just put everything down to anxiety. I'm trying to be brave and see it this way but finding it very difficult because of lack of sleep. I've had about 6 hours in the last 3 days. Every night I wake up after a few hours. This morning I felt so dreadful that I phoned 111 and the nurse said I was to call my own gp and discuss how acute my anxiety was getting. I am a total mess at the moment, to make things worse I have to have a gtt(glucose tolerance test) in the morning as my levels came back high. I'm dreading the result as I think if it comes back that I'm diabetic it will send me over the edge. I have cbt booked just waiting another month or so for it to start. I have no extra cash to pay for private therapy. I'm just wondering if anyone could give me any inspiration on how to fight this darn health anxiety. I really feel like I'm teetering close to the edge. I'm awaiting the gp calling this afternoon seriously thinking of asking if I could be an in patient somewhere as I don't want to be a burden anymore.

[ryangreen]

I'm sorry you feel like this I could have written this post word for word sorri
I don't have more for you then to tell you that you're not alone

[Antonio2301]

I can fully understand how you feel . When I was going through Health Anxiety I became obsessed like yourself with my heart . Its only thoughts in your mind remember that you're going to have a heart attack or heart disease . I also smoke which doesn't help .(trying to quit :-) )

All I can say is try not to worry , the hospital would have picked up anything wrong with your heart and wouldn't have let you return home.

Its not long now till your CBT sessions start , so try to hang on . I did my CBT last year and if its any help , I`m Health Anxiety free now so I`m sure you will benefit from it

Take care and try not to focus on it constantly and distract yourself away from it .

All the best

Antonio :hugs:

[Spondoolicks]

Thank you for your replies. I am trying my very best to hang on. Like hanging on a cliff it feels lol. Cannot wait to be rid of this dreaded anxiety and have my life back. I'll keep working on it. Thank you again :)

[Antonio2301]

It will be worth the wait spondoolicks
keep us posted with your progress :hugs:

[Ats666]

I know how you feel, this is my dear at the moment. I can't offer you any advice really as I'm struggling to help myself. Just wanted you to know you're not alone xx

[LF87]

And me. I had nightmares about it last night. I dreamt I went to the hospital and they said I had irregular beats and had had a heart attack and that they wanted to do open heart surgery. I don't even know if such a term exists but that's how obsessed my brain is with this! The relief when I woke up.

Back to the real world... Left arm aches, chest twinges, and most recently feeling breathless. It IS a nightmare. You aren't on your own with this one pet! Trust me x

[Fishmanpa]

It goes without saying but I'm going to say it anyway. Smoking, drinking and anxiety DON'T MIX!!

Of all the things that sometimes baffle me about the illness, this is the #1. I have heart disease, have had two heart attacks and cancer. Smoking contributed to all of that.

Ok, no lecture. Do something about it. I don't know what you spend on tobacco but an e-cig and the cartridges are about 1/2 the cost. I quit. I had no choice. Not true... I did. I had cancer, head and neck and to continue to smoke meant I lessened my chances of the treatment working and survival by 50% or more. It was a no brainer. I also know of a fellow warrior that started smoking again after her treatment. Guess what? She now breathes through a tube in her neck and eats through a tube into her stomach... for life! I'm telling you this to intentionally scare the crap out of you. Please, please and please once more....QUIT!

I used the e-cig to quit. Even my doctors agreed that the e-cig was better than the hundreds of chemicals in tobacco. I tapered down the strength of the cartridge until I got to 0% nicotine and that was it.

Some use patches, some take Wellbutrin, some quit cold turkey and some do so, like I did, with the e-cig. At least make the effort.

Positive thoughts

[LF87]

I agree with Fishman, you have to try to stop! When my HA first developed I had tonsillitis, which I genuinely thought was mouth cancer for about 7 months. I quit immediately and have never looked back. The thought scared me so much, and what made the thought worse was, 'you've done this to yourself'. That's what really made me angry enough to pack it in. I still go for drinks with my friends on a weekend, but smoking had to go. Good luck x

[Manda0404]

OMG I could have written this myself, I am suffering with work stress, anxiety and depression but for years since my early teens I have had the overwhelming fear that I have major heart issues which then brings on panic attacks and anxiety. I haven't voiced this fear to anyone close but it is always there, every little twinge gets me panicking.

At the moment, I had a bit of a strange feeling like a strained muscle in the right side of my chest last night and ached more on deep breaths ( I know it is anxiety and tension pains in me right mind) and then by the time I had got to bed my right shoulder blade at the bottom near my spine had started to hurt. Kept me awake most of the night and is still there today. Really does worry me and I have spent most of the day in bed. My husband is doing most things for us at the moment but I feel awful as I think my kids are missing out on having a mum that is so screwed up.

[Spondoolicks]

I have been for my GTT today, got follow on for results on Thursday. Hoping and praying that I will be negative. Fishmanpa I have totally given up alcohol until I'm better, the ciggies are already on the decrease. I do have a electronic cigarette and don't mind using it at all but now with impending diabetes I'm not sure if I can use it as I've already found out that I can't use Nicolette inhalator according to nhs website. I hate smoking with a passion but I am finding it really hard to deal with the extra anxiety of nicotine withdrawl. I have already gone from 20 a day to 6-7 and coping just about. My other anxieties are huge and I'm somewhat out of control at the moment. If I manage to get into a better sleeping routine I'm sure I will be stronger. Only sleeping 3-4 hours a night at the mo and medication free because of side effect phobia. I was prescribed zopiclone this morning but they will be staying in the lock box as well. I'm my own worst enemy as I make everything hard for myself. I'm working on my heart phobia and praying my psycho symptoms stay that way, hence the passion to get off the death sticks.

[dharmakarma]

Thank you for having this forum.

I have been going through exactly what you're all going through and I constantly have the fear of having a heart attack. I take my pulse regularly as well as my BP. As soon as I get my BP reading, I get a sense of comfort. Silly, I know but it helps me out.

Just recently, I went on a vacation and I constantly had a fear of an incident. This got escalated as I started to learn about the lack of health support in the area. The concern of a what if situation.

It was 2:00 AM, my heart rate spiked, I started to feel a sense of doom. I went to the local doc (closed). went to another and had to get my BP done. As soon as that happened, I felt okay.

I understand this is all driven by anxiety and reading everyones comments, its assuring that I am not alone in this battle.

Thank you..
Do keep the conversation going :)
D