relationship

[AnxietySufferer]

I have never been in a relationship before, in fact i didnt have my first kiss till 16 (im 17 now) this is mainly due to confidence issues..
but anyway.. this guy has liked me for a while but im so nervous to get in a relationship and im not sure if i like him enough.. im worried that i will change my mind and am terrified of leading him on. We have kissed but nothing more..
Im not sure if i want a boyfriend, he told one of my guy friends that he isnt sure if hes ready for a relationship but if he was in a relationship he would want it to be with me, but at the same time we have been talking for ages now and it just hasnt happened.
I am also worried about it getting in the way of exams and stuff since this year is really important for me..
Another thing im worried about is him expecting more if we were in relationship.. i mean at 17 most people are more experienced than me.. i know he has slept with one person before but it wasnt a relationship.
Anyway, these are all the things I cant say out loud due to it sounding ridiculous..
oh yeah. my other issue is my anxiety, i deffinately dont feel as though i can tell him fully about it, so i dont reslly know how to go about dealing with it.
I know he isnt my soul mate or anything.. im not looking to spend the rest of my life with him...
advice would be appreciated :D

[Shammy]

Your only 17, do not worry about rushing into anything.

I rushed into a relatoship AND engagement with a guy when I was 19 because I had never been with or even kissed anyone before and thought I would die alone if I didnt go with the first guy who showed me interest.

It ended up in a lot of heartbreak and a waste of a year of my time and a lot of guilt. I did not "love" him just the idea of being in a relationship

am a lot more wiser now.

Do what feels right to you, not what everyone else tells you to feel

[AnxietySufferer]

I know your completely right!! I do like him, just dont know if i like him enough.. like i definately dont want to spend the rest of my life with him.. i guess i was wondering how do people decide if they want to get in a relationship with someone?
I thought in some ways it may act as a distraction for all of the negative thoughts with me 24/7.. i hate living like this I dont know what to do :( fed up of thinking the worst all the time!!

[Fishmanpa]

I have never been in a relationship before, in fact i didnt have my first kiss till 16 (im 17 now) this is mainly due to confidence issues..
but anyway.. this guy has liked me for a while but im so nervous to get in a relationship and im not sure if i like him enough.. im worried that i will change my mind and am terrified of leading him on. We have kissed but nothing more..
Im not sure if i want a boyfriend, he told one of my guy friends that he isnt sure if hes ready for a relationship but if he was in a relationship he would want it to be with me, but at the same time we have been talking for ages now and it just hasnt happened.
I am also worried about it getting in the way of exams and stuff since this year is really important for me..
Another thing im worried about is him expecting more if we were in relationship.. i mean at 17 most people are more experienced than me.. i know he has slept with one person before but it wasnt a relationship.
Anyway, these are all the things I cant say out loud due to it sounding ridiculous..
oh yeah. my other issue is my anxiety, i deffinately dont feel as though i can tell him fully about it, so i dont reslly know how to go about dealing with it.
I know he isnt my soul mate or anything.. im not looking to spend the rest of my life with him...
advice would be appreciated :D

As one who is old enough to be your Dad and has kids not much older than you, let me give you some fatherly advice. On the coattails of what Shammy said. Do what feels right to "you". Always follow your gut, it will never steer you wrong. Learn to love yourself and never worry about what others think. They're not in your shoes. The best things in life are truly worth waiting for and I speak from many, many years experience :)

Positive thoughts

[AnxietySufferer]

Haha Thankyou Fishmanpa! Your kids are lucky to have you... Wish it was that easy though!!

[pas74]

Okay - as one who is old enough to be your Mam etc, I would say enjoy whatever you have with this guy but don't rush into anything. Goodness me you're only 17 oh how I wish I was thinking like you at 17. Have more friends who are boys but not necessarily boyfriends. If it doesn't work be honest with him but don't fret about it.

Oh happy, youthful days ..... Where did you go :D

[Rennie1989]

I'm old enough to be your sister!! (just joining in, haha!)

But seriously, there is no definitive age or time when we must have our first kiss, our first grope and first relationship, some experience it younger than others. You're 17 and still have a lot to experience and learn, you don't need to be in a relationship, just because your friends have or are does not determine when you should. I do understand the peer pressure of it, I was single when I was 17 and I hated it, especially when I saw my friends with their boyfriends. But I met someone later on, turned out to be a clingly mummy's boy! Sometimes it's worth the wait ;)

Just remember that there is more to life than relationships. There's education, a career, hobby pursuits, traveling, parties!

[Fishmanpa]

Haha Thankyou Fishmanpa! Your kids are lucky to have you... Wish it was that easy though!!

I'm blessed to have them as children. They're good people. The advice being easy? Unfortunately it's not BUT... I tell my kids that all the time. I know they're going to do what they want despite that advice but I also know that in the end they'll say Dad was right ;) One more is take what's said in my signature to heart. Those are truly the wisest words ever spoken concerning life IMO :)

Positive thoughts

[AnxietySufferer]

Haha thanks everyone :D hopefully it will be worth the wait :)

[jayjoe18]

I'm in agreement with everyone else here, don't rush! If it doesn't feel right then don't worry, things will happen when they happen when it's the right person, don't just settle just to conform with society. I hate peer pressure but I do totally understand where your coming from, it's really difficult. I'm nearly 21 and haven't had a boyfriend yet, or my first kiss! I do feel really embarrassed about it and feel anxious and pressured but it's just not the right time for me due to anxiety. Your definitely not alone with this!

[AnxietySufferer]

Thanks everyone :)

[Marty_67]

Okay - as one who is old enough to be your Mam etc, I would say enjoy whatever you have with this guy but don't rush into anything. Goodness me you're only 17 oh how I wish I was thinking like you at 17. Have more friends who are boys but not necessarily boyfriends. If it doesn't work be honest with him but don't fret about it.

Oh happy, youthful days ..... Where did you go :D

I have two wonderful teenagers (old fart alert) but would like to say that you should follow your heart. Your studies are so so important but you sound like you have your head screwed on the right way!

Oh to be 17 again :)

Let us know how you get on!