Why can i not accept?

[LunaLiuna]

Hellooo everyone,

Why can I not accept the cause for my symptoms?

I need advice, I feel like I'm constantly bouncing between to walls at the moment, one minute I feel great, the other I feel horrible. I know this was bound to happen as I make more progress, but my dragon keeps whispering in my ear :l

I had a meeting with my psychiatrist last night who was really impressed with what I've done, and how I've been rationalising every new symptom and doing lots of reading. He didn't seem to mind too much about me saying that I really do believe that something's wrong.

I know what you'll say. YES there is something wrong and it's anxiety! but it's sooo hard to fully accept.

I feel like everything I've done over the 3 years is like building a bridge to cross a massive river. I've laid most of the bricks but they're so soft that they could fall away at any moment.

I'm so fragile, and it doesn't help being at home which just causes added stress along with the mounting pressure of moving back into my old room, which I'm going to have to do at some point.

What do I do? I guess part of me wants to just run across the bridge. But another part is saying wait for it to get stronger. What happens if I miss my only chance and it all falls away?

I have no one to turn too except here.

Help? :blush:


.

[Tanner40]

Luna, it sounds to me like you are walking the road to recovery. It's very normal that the first steps that we make are plodding and our legs don't feel very stable. Those bricks along the pathway will get stronger each day as you put more work towards your recovery.
It's a lot like learning a sport. The more we practice, the better at it we become. Our confidence becomes stronger each time we face a tough match. Sometimes, it takes losing a small skirmish to learn new lessons and to continue becoming stronger.
Acceptance is not easy. It's all about having faith. It's all about believing. Ones faith needs teaching moments in order to get stronger. Keep doing the things that you're doing. All will be well.

[LunaLiuna]

Thank you Tanner.

I guess it makes you feel good trying to fight it, you feel strong, alive, like your fighting an endless fight that could go anywhere. But still you fight and eventually on endurance the anxiety wins, as I found out.

But acceptance is a little different, I've always thought of myself as having a little Buddha in me but this is hard! I feel like I'm putting trust in an endless void.

Thank you for the reply again, have a great day :)

[Phuzella]

Little Buddha, I like that:shades:

[LunaLiuna]

Little Buddha, I like that:shades:


Aha, thank you Phuzella ;)

[Andrash]

Hellooo everyone,

I know this was bound to happen as I make more progress, but my dragon keeps whispering in my ear :l



But don't you see the progress? :) Before the dragon was roaring, now it's only whispering-in short notice you'll render him totally speechless, trust me ;)

[LunaLiuna]

I see the progress, but stupidly enough, I don't know whether to trust it :l

[MRS STRESS ED]

Lunaliuna keep building your bridge make it stronger and stronger and eventually you will cross it x

[LunaLiuna]

Lunaliuna keep building your bridge make it stronger and stronger and eventually you will cross it x


Thank you, I will keep going, hopefully the river doesn't rise! :)

[MRS STRESS ED]

Thank you, I will keep going, hopefully the river doesn't rise! :)

Lol I never thought of that I hope you can swim :D

[LunaLiuna]

Maybe, if all else fails I guess I'll have to!

Or maybe I should of just made a boat hahaha :)

[MRS STRESS ED]

Maybe, if all else fails I guess I'll have to!

Or maybe I should of just made a boat hahaha :)

Lol maybe you should :D