Having a bad day today, just need help

[willous1]

Hi

I've really had a set back today. I have been really anxious and dropped my wife back and drove back home. Got home in no time at all but then because I was thinking about anxious things on way back it feels like I got home on auto pilot if that makes sense and I keep getting intrusive thoughts about if I came home the right way etc. does this make sense. Just need someone to understand. Why do these thoughts enter my head. This is all because of google in the past and people saying about dementia and driving.

[Phuzella]

Probably not the safest way to drive home, on autopilot, but I bet there aren't many drivers who haven't done something similar. I don't know if you're into meditation at all, but look into mindfulness, maybe Headspace or Jon Kabat-Zinn. I find it very useful :)

[willous1]

I would have been concentrating but can't explain only dropped her around corner. Surely these dementia thoughts are just intrusive

[Phuzella]

Yes they are, and you got home safely.

[willous1]

I hate it, my anxiety has gone mental today. I have been improving so much

[Phuzella]

Just call today's autopilot drive a bit of a wobble. It's in the past now, all is well. Focus on what you're doing right now, easier said than done maybe but give it a go.

[MrAndy]

find sombody to talk to (not online) ps you havent got dementia

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

I have driven on "auto pilot" many times-- especially on routes that I take frequently. It isn't dementia. You know this, Willous.

Swap those negative thoughts for how well you are doing, and keep focused on moving forward in your recovery.

[willous1]

Thank you, I was doing do well that I'm just crying because I was almost normal again. I feel like I've done something so wrong for this to happen to me. For the first time I'm feeling sorry for myself which is selfish but this setback has got to me. I know in my head that I didn't go anywhere else and it was fine but my brain is so powerful. I know I'm feeding the dragon by posting today and learned a lot from my CBT already but just so upset. People have real illnesses and cope better than me. I honestly don't understand it. Thank you so much for posting though.

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

Your mind is powerful- and far more healthy than you give it credit for.....here "you" were daydreaming (autopilot) and yet your brain very safely got you directly home.

How about this? Quit posting various threads looking for reassurance (autopilot/dreams/etc) and share a thread with us about all of the "normal" and "happy" things you experienced on your good day! I'd love to read about your success! It is very inspiring to all of us moving along Recovery Road.

Let's focus there, eh?

Also, if you wish- check out a previous thread I had called "Cuss, Cuss, Cuss." I wrote it after I had the best (and only) wonderful day I had had in months after crisis panic. I am doing much better all the time, but still have bad days, hours, moments......, but they are less and less.....and I am not scared of them anymore. Just don't like them. :)

[willous1]

I will check that out and thank you for the great post. I smiled for the first time today I think. I am taking my boys for a bite to eat and a walk to the park when they finish nursery. I wish I had posted a positive thread in the last few days and will look at doing so soon. I have found it hard but been in a much better place. Your right about the brain. I had an hours rest and it went so quick that now I'm panicking I forgot something, it's a joke. I have not got a job now as had to leave soya be that hasn't helped my anxiety but in going to fight again and hopefully see this as a stupid setback.

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

It isn't even a "setback"-- it is just a flare up of something that will take a little while to heal. A broken leg wouldn't heal overnight, right? If you were overweight the pounds wouldn't drop over a few days, right?

You are healing..., but it takes time, and those neural pathways that are "inflamed" with anxiety are going to flare up sometimes as you are healing overall.

When you take your boys to the park- be mindful. Let's not post later about any worries that pop up. Instead, I want to hear about the sounds of the park and your two precious boys. I want to hear about the smells, the details of people and trees around you, the way the ground felt under your feet as you walked. Everytime you start to wander into "automatic negative thoughts" I want you to write down (take a notebook) one of the successful things you are going to post about later.

Do these things-- and your dragon will shrink. Today will be beautiful.