Meewah
24-01-14, 00:39
Hi
I have always suffered from anxiety of one type of another. Well I am 45 now and looking back can see my life and how limited it was I can see the use of alcohol and Weed as a way of coping.
As life went on I started with a disturbing habit of not being able to sign in front of strangers this was when I was trying to sign a credit card slip or something..the warning signs.
As life moved on and I got married to my wonderful wife and had our first child he was diagnosed at one years old with asthma or viral induced wheezing. The constant visits to the Doctors and the hospital took it toll and I soon found it very difficult to sleep especially on the nights the little chap came to sleep with us. My constant checking to see how he was and the fact that my wife was so relaxed about it all started to make me worry constantly. I felt I was the only member of the family that really understood how dangerous his illness was. I took it upon myself to treat him and take him to the doctors when he had a cough.
Well after 3 years we had a second child and then the nightmares started I used to have horrible nightmares that he had been hit by a car and I was watching him. I told close family members about them and they said they were normal anxious parent dreams. Well as time went on we had a third child which I have to be honest was quite a shock as my father was diagnosed with dementia and my mum was finding hard to cope. Our third child was born premature and was taken away to a incubator for a week. All these life pressures have left me in a state of high anxiety.
Now every time my eldest son gets a cough or a cold I am in a high state of anxiety and cant sleep and worry continuously. I also have thoughts of him being really ill and visualise pictures of us all round his bed. It scares the hell out of me.
It is now effecting my relationship with the rest of the family as I go on about health with them and really worry over their health. My whole life is consumed with worrying about my families health and mine. I have become so worried with my health that a strange thing has happened. I know don't check myself like I used to as I feel it makes me too anxious for the rest of the day , I avoid anything health orientated, the doctors and basically just bury my head in the sand. This really worries me because the inverse to what usually happens has occured I have become anxious about the anxiety.
Does anyone relate to this?
Does anyone feel like they are seriously ill and that members of there close family are seriously ill? Do you avoid anything to do with illness and just sit and ruminate about what if and when's ?
My life is so limited with all this I feel I am drowning and its me that is pushing my head under.
Help
Mee
I have always suffered from anxiety of one type of another. Well I am 45 now and looking back can see my life and how limited it was I can see the use of alcohol and Weed as a way of coping.
As life went on I started with a disturbing habit of not being able to sign in front of strangers this was when I was trying to sign a credit card slip or something..the warning signs.
As life moved on and I got married to my wonderful wife and had our first child he was diagnosed at one years old with asthma or viral induced wheezing. The constant visits to the Doctors and the hospital took it toll and I soon found it very difficult to sleep especially on the nights the little chap came to sleep with us. My constant checking to see how he was and the fact that my wife was so relaxed about it all started to make me worry constantly. I felt I was the only member of the family that really understood how dangerous his illness was. I took it upon myself to treat him and take him to the doctors when he had a cough.
Well after 3 years we had a second child and then the nightmares started I used to have horrible nightmares that he had been hit by a car and I was watching him. I told close family members about them and they said they were normal anxious parent dreams. Well as time went on we had a third child which I have to be honest was quite a shock as my father was diagnosed with dementia and my mum was finding hard to cope. Our third child was born premature and was taken away to a incubator for a week. All these life pressures have left me in a state of high anxiety.
Now every time my eldest son gets a cough or a cold I am in a high state of anxiety and cant sleep and worry continuously. I also have thoughts of him being really ill and visualise pictures of us all round his bed. It scares the hell out of me.
It is now effecting my relationship with the rest of the family as I go on about health with them and really worry over their health. My whole life is consumed with worrying about my families health and mine. I have become so worried with my health that a strange thing has happened. I know don't check myself like I used to as I feel it makes me too anxious for the rest of the day , I avoid anything health orientated, the doctors and basically just bury my head in the sand. This really worries me because the inverse to what usually happens has occured I have become anxious about the anxiety.
Does anyone relate to this?
Does anyone feel like they are seriously ill and that members of there close family are seriously ill? Do you avoid anything to do with illness and just sit and ruminate about what if and when's ?
My life is so limited with all this I feel I am drowning and its me that is pushing my head under.
Help
Mee