Fear of harming children.

[Joda]

Hi all

Just looking for some support and reassurance really. I've always been quite an anxious person but have managed it myself for years and it's never interfered with my life to the extent where I couldn't function. However recently I've really been suffering with terrible thoughts. The kind of thing that I used to dismiss, is now driving me crazy going round and round in my head. The thoughts terrify me when I get them as they involve harming my children, youngest just 11 wks old. Its taken a lot for me just to write this down. They're not specific thoughts, I have just developed a fear of harming them in general to the point I feel uncomfortable around them. I know they're just thoughts but at their peak they can send me into a frenzy of panic and they are starting to get me down. I just want to enjoy my children without this horrible thing hanging over me. I'm starting a mindfulness course on Tuesday which I hope will help but if there are any other therapies that you have found to be successful then I'd love to hear them. Just being on here and knowing we are all experiencing similar things helps! Hope to hear from some of you soon. Jo x

[Catherine S]

Hi Joda, I believe this comes under the umbrella of OCD. Alot of people here have some form of this and i'm sure somebody will be able to reassure you. Perhaps you could also visit the OCD section just on the left side of the screen.

[WhyWhyWhy]

You are ok. I'm no professional, but I'd say this sounds very very much like post natal ocd. Please google it and you'll gain some insight into it. You're a good person and you deserve to enjoy your baby. I have heard good things about mindfulness. I wish I had more info for you, but I just want you to know you are certainly not alone. If you do a search you'll find stuff on there I'm sure you'll relate to xxxx

---------- Post added at 23:28 ---------- Previous post was at 23:25 ----------

The irony of an ocd mum is that they are the most caring and protective - I just read this on a quick google search. The intrusive thoughts are all part of it. Xxx

[Catherine S]

Google is not usually recomended as it can make anxious people feel worse sorry, but there is a wealth of information on this site that you can read up on. Take care.

[Bonnibelle]

I have awful intrusive thoughts of harming myself or my children. I had no idea what was wrong with me until this week when I was diagnosed with GAD and OCD.

Thoughts of harming children is extremely common in post natal mothers so I would say you're suffering from OCD type thoughts and should tell your gp. Don't be scared, I was terrified but he reassured me I wouldn't lose my children. They are unwanted thoughts.

It's very frightening. At first I was petrified to even be left alone in a room with my children. They are all growing up, most of my thoughts are centred around my youngest who's 8. It's horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

A few good books are At Last a Life, The Imp of the Mind and if you google Dr Penzal he has a lot of articles on the subject of harm OCD. It's extremely common for mothers to suffer. Don't go through this alone, speak to your gp and maybe take a look at OCD uk, lots of good articles and it may help you understand what's going on and put your mind at ease.

Big hugs xx

[Joda]

Thanks everyone. I've only been really suffering from these for a couple of weeks and I've never understood them to be a symptom of OCD until reading more about it. They're so frightening. And of course I guess part of the illness is self doubt and loss of confidence in yourself which just sends you in a never ending spiral of thought. I hope there is some cure. I've just ordered imp of the mind actually so I hope that helps. Thanks for the other recommendations. Good to know there are others going through similar experiences. X

[fruity]

hey joda it,s post-natel dep. i had it with my kids exactly the same as you. they were monsters to me i could not look at them,touch them,hold them. you name it & i wanted to hurt them. when i mean monsters i mean monsters i had monsters in my head but they were my kids.

[Joda]

Hello Fruity

Thank you for your reply. I'd be interested to hear how you've overcome it, assuming you have! I will PM you.

Thanks

Jo.

[MrAndy]

I went through this and and I am now nearly out the other side,it was a tired and weary mind playing tricks.Time will heal this for you

[Joda]

I've just messaged you mrandy.

[carlleo123]

I have this it's awful, but just know your not alone and don't be afraid to get support. I thought people would think I was mad but all the therapists I've seen have said it's ocd.