View Full Version : What's the deal with Saturdays?
TooMuchToLiveFor
25-01-14, 13:19
It seems a bit of a general theme around here that oftentimes weekends give us a blippity-blip after a fairly good week. I know I have seen that with myself. For some of us, it might be that the work week is fairly structured and keeps focus outside of ourselves and our dragons, but I am a stay at home mom--if anything, I would think weekends would be better as my hubby is home and able to help with the kids and we can do fun family things. But, I seem to get actually depressed starting Friday nights and lasting through the weekends. I fake it, fight it, float above it, say "F" it, ......let's see, any other words that start with "F" that I can throw in here?......And, depression hasn't even really been my issue-- acute anxiety/panic has. Hmmm....so, am I just developing a little depression too? Maybe it has been there and I am just now bringing it to the surface to work through it? Who knows?
I think sometimes for me it is letting my thoughts turn negative thinking "Well, I've fought the dragon for another week. I am tired of fighting. I just want to be normal.".......But, I need to give a quick hug to myself in those moments and then replace those thoughts with ones that are actually helpful. Sometimes I just miss being happy and relaxed without having to work so darn hard at it.
Okay, I am putting on my dragon slayer armor for the day. I will keep moving forward.
For any of you reading this: grab on to your rational thoughts, your internal strength, your faith, your Dragon Slayer arsenal, and let's float/fight/ together through the weekend. We have the gift of life right here in this moment-- let's not waste it. XOXOXO.
I'm actually having a good day to day!
I agree with what you said, i think it's the lack of structure on weekends that gets us, but I know how you feel, it would be a welcome break to be able to put the armour down.
Or it could just be because it's Saturnday ;)
Oh dear, my amazing sense of humour there :blush:
Have a good day!
TooMuchToLiveFor
25-01-14, 13:38
:)
You, too, my dear!
(Luna, just wanted to say- even though you have really been digging your heels in to fight a lot of battles here lately.....you have kept the sweetest attitude and heart to all those you reply to and try to help. You seem like a lovely, little gal. I think this will all turn around for you as you keep putting one foot in front of the other. Have a great day!)
cut_out_stars
25-01-14, 13:38
I know what you mean! For me it's the other way around - I'm self employed and work at home alone during the week - probably not the best thing for a HA sufferer usually by the weekend I'm just relived to have some company!
My my, anxiety sure is tiring isn't it!
Great post, Too Much. For me, it's sometimes about having too much unstructured time on my hands. During the work week, it seems there are never enough hours in the day. During the weekend, it's pretty much the same. The key is that I want more time to read, to play, to do fun things. And the weekends are packed full of adult things, like paying bills, grocery shopping, house cleaning, running errands, etc... My kid still wants the weekends to be all about playing.
I do think it's got something to do with wearing that armor all week long, wanting to take it off, and just not having to work hard at relaxing. All of the adult activity can be draining. Not like I shouldn't be used to it by now.
Time to put the armor back on and slay some dragons today.
I can relate to this as well as the morning anxiety thing. Not so much with the anxiety but with the depression and the fighting.
When I was diagnosed, the "c" was on my mind almost 24/7. It was only when I slept that it went away. The same with the depression. I would awaken, and for a few moments in that quasi awake/dream state all was fine in the world. Then it crept in... "F(*&^, I have cancer"... "F(*%, I don't feel like getting up" (had to throw in the F word for ya TooMuch ~lol~). It was due to this that my cancer got the name "Jack" after Jack Nicholson. It was like the character from "The Shining" where he breaks through the door and says "Heeere's Johnny!". That was the way it came into my mind.
And the fighting part? I hear you loud and clear. The side effects are with me for life. I hurt all the time. Even when I'm feeling good there is some level of pain and it's fatiguing as hell. That lead to the depression kicking in and the same kind of "Why can't I feel normal" thoughts. I take my meds and they take the edge off to the point where I can "ignore" it.
Now, after some therapy and attitude adjustment (the CBT here really helped), I'm doing much better. Yeah, I still wake up every morning and I hurt but the dread part is gone and I just push through it. I have "too much to live for" (like the way I tied that in? ~lol~) . I'm engaged to my "Chiquita" and we have things we want to do. I have my music to get back to in a couple of months. I want to be around for as long as the Good Lord let's me and I want to do so with the right mindset.
So whether it's a blip on a week day or a weekend or even if you've been in a full time blip for a while, you can pull yourself out of it. Just don't be afraid to ask for help. There's no shame in it. Never tire of the fight and understand that acceptance IS fighting as it's one of the strongest weapons we have against mental illness. I know I have depression. I accept it and recognize the signs and deal with it when Eeyore come moping into my home. I've just learned to sic Tigger on him ;)
Positive thoughts
:)
You, too, my dear!
(Luna, just wanted to say- even though you have really been digging your heels in to fight a lot of battles here lately.....you have kept the sweetest attitude and heart to all those you reply to and try to help. You seem like a lovely, little gal. I think this will all turn around for you as you keep putting one foot in front of the other. Have a great day!)
Thank you, I've only drawn inspiration from you guys though, when your suffering yourself you can see how hard it is for other people, and to me I really do not like it. So I'll do all I can to help, seeing other people happy makes me happy :)
And I'm not sure if I should take you calling me a girl as a compliment hahahaha!
TooMuchToLiveFor
25-01-14, 14:14
I know what you mean! For me it's the other way around - I'm self employed and work at home alone during the week - probably not the best thing for a HA sufferer usually by the weekend I'm just relived to have some company!
My my, anxiety sure is tiring isn't it!
It sure is!
Well, I hope you have a great weekend!
---------- Post added at 08:14 ---------- Previous post was at 08:06 ----------
Thank you, I've only drawn inspiration from you guys though, when your suffering yourself you can see how hard it is for other people, and to me I really do not like it. So I'll do all I can to help, seeing other people happy makes me happy :)
And I'm not sure if I should take you calling me a girl as a compliment hahahaha!
:roflmao::roflmao:
Oh, my, gosh, I am laughing so hard right now! Seriously, this just made my morning and chased my "Eeyore" depression donkey right out the door! I was sitting here loving on my baby girl, Evangeline, while I was typing to you with one hand.....I was planning on writing "lovely, young, man" and I was cooing to my baby that she was a "lovely, little, girl"......LOL!!!! Good thing I don't have HA.....I would completely think I am getting dementia at this point!!!
Let me rephrase what was intended...."I think you are a lovely, YOUNG, MAN!!!!" Hee, hee, hee.....still laughing!
Oh hahahahaha :D
You saved yourself there, at least it made you laugh! ;)
TooMuchToLiveFor
25-01-14, 14:54
Seriously, still laughing! Just told my husband and he is now totally making fun of me. :roflmao:
---------- Post added at 08:54 ---------- Previous post was at 08:39 ----------
Great post, Too Much. For me, it's sometimes about having too much unstructured time on my hands. During the work week, it seems there are never enough hours in the day. During the weekend, it's pretty much the same. The key is that I want more time to read, to play, to do fun things. And the weekends are packed full of adult things, like paying bills, grocery shopping, house cleaning, running errands, etc... My kid still wants the weekends to be all about playing.
I do think it's got something to do with wearing that armor all week long, wanting to take it off, and just not having to work hard at relaxing. All of the adult activity can be draining. Not like I shouldn't be used to it by now.
Time to put the armor back on and slay some dragons today.
Yes, I think it is just tiring of the work it takes to keep that dragon behaving. I also have had several symptoms (heart racing and shaking) along with crippling headaches from neck and shoulder tension getting stronger again. It just makes you weary, but I have never shied away from hard work in any other area of my life, so certainly don't want to start now!
Hope you have a great weekend, Tanner, and I hope you get a good share of "kid time" to play!
(Hey- FMP and I have been wondering how things are going with your dad and brothers....anything to report?)
(Hey- FMP and I have been wondering how things are going with your dad and brothers....anything to report?)
That would be Tanner and I've been wondering the same... But my Dad is doing well and so is my Sister ;)
Positive thoughts
TooMuchToLiveFor
25-01-14, 14:59
I can relate to this as well as the morning anxiety thing. Not so much with the anxiety but with the depression and the fighting.
When I was diagnosed, the "c" was on my mind almost 24/7. It was only when I slept that it went away. The same with the depression. I would awaken, and for a few moments in that quasi awake/dream state all was fine in the world. Then it crept in... "F(*&^, I have cancer"... "F(*%, I don't feel like getting up" (had to throw in the F word for ya TooMuch ~lol~). It was due to this that my cancer got the name "Jack" after Jack Nicholson. It was like the character from "The Shining" where he breaks through the door and says "Heeere's Johnny!". That was the way it came into my mind.
And the fighting part? I hear you loud and clear. The side effects are with me for life. I hurt all the time. Even when I'm feeling good there is some level of pain and it's fatiguing as hell. That lead to the depression kicking in and the same kind of "Why can't I feel normal" thoughts. I take my meds and they take the edge off to the point where I can "ignore" it.
Now, after some therapy and attitude adjustment (the CBT here really helped), I'm doing much better. Yeah, I still wake up every morning and I hurt but the dread part is gone and I just push through it. I have "too much to live for" (like the way I tied that in? ~lol~) . I'm engaged to my "Chiquita" and we have things we want to do. I have my music to get back to in a couple of months. I want to be around for as long as the Good Lord let's me and I want to do so with the right mindset.
So whether it's a blip on a week day or a weekend or even if you've been in a full time blip for a while, you can pull yourself out of it. Just don't be afraid to ask for help. There's no shame in it. Never tire of the fight and understand that acceptance IS fighting as it's one of the strongest weapons we have against mental illness. I know I have depression. I accept it and recognize the signs and deal with it when Eeyore come moping into my home. I've just learned to sic Tigger on him ;)
Positive thoughts
Wow- LOVE the "Heeere's Johnny!" reference. So perfect. Also, loved the "F" word tie ins and "TMTLF" tie in. :winks:
Think the best was that you have "learned to sic Tigger on Eeyore." Truly perfect.
I know that you don't suffer from anxiety, but it is very helpful to have your insight into depression as this seems to come along side of most fights with anxiety at one point or another.
Really good post, FMP!
TooMuchToLiveFor
25-01-14, 15:06
That would be Tanner and I've been wondering the same... But my Dad is doing well and so is my Sister ;)
Positive thoughts
Wow- I am definitely having some communication issues while trying to multi-task this morning! :roflmao: Having two little monkeys crawling all over me while trying to have an "adult conversation" is evidently something I am not capable of at the moment. (Just ask LunaLiuna! LOL.)
What I meant, was to address to Tanner-- that you (FMP) and I had been wondering about her family- based on her "Coping with my Father's Illness" thread where we both inquired about an update yesterday.
I SWEAR I am NOT losing my mind.....just preoccupied! LOL! I need to be sure to direct Willous to this post next time he is concerned he is falling into dementia. I know I'm not- and look how scatter-brained I am this morning! :roflmao:
But, glad your dad and sister are doing well! :winks:
---------- Post added at 09:06 ---------- Previous post was at 09:04 ----------
Seriously, have tears in my eyes from laughing.....and it FEELS WONDERFUL!!!
I SWEAR I am NOT losing my mind.....just preoccupied! LOL! I need to be sure to direct Willous to this post next time he is concerned he is falling into dementia. I know I'm not- and look how scatter-brained I am this morning! :roflmao:
But his last thread was the "100% no more reassurance post". Surely you won't have the opportunity to refer back to this now will you? :whistles:
Positive thoughts
TooMuchToLiveFor
25-01-14, 15:27
But his last thread was the "100% no more reassurance post". Surely you won't have the opportunity to refer back to this now will you? :whistles:
Positive thoughts
Poor, sweet man (Willous)....I am excited to see he hasn't been on here since earlier yesterday......hoping that means he made it to his outing for his wife's birthday!
Poor, sweet man (Willous)....I am excited to see he hasn't been on here since earlier yesterday......hoping that means he made it to his outing for his wife's birthday!
Me too....He's much too young and has so much ahead of him to be so fixated on dementia... If he thinks he forgets stuff now, wait till he's in his 50's! Glad to see he finally has taken steps to get treatment.
Positive remembered thoughts
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