Huff...... When will it ever stop. Fishmanpa, are you here?!

[Female healthanxiety]

Good evening my lovelies, hope your all OK.

Well as you may/not know, due to my most recent post.

I had a scare at the gym last Saturday and went back today there for the first time, faced my fears and actually went for a run on a machine for 8 minutes!!!

I felt great afterwards and to be honest, was really proud of myself, as I felt ever step of my journey getting harder and harder. It felt like the more I was getting happier today; the worse my thoughts and health anxiety got.

I feel tired and also look quite pale, also feel a little bit sick. Due to my HA based around heart attack/stroke/BP, I am fearing the worst.

My thought motions are currently:-

The gym is no good for me
My heart cannot cope with it
The numbness pain in my left Arm is because of this
Feeling sick because this is what happens
Cold feet and hands

HA is like the Big Bad Monster. Whenever I do something good for myself (which is rare) something always happens.

I am trying to not give my body any excuse, I've eaten well, drank water etc.

My partner advised me earlier that he was going out for drinks with his friends (he never usually does, well probably once a year). So feeling even worse being by myself; and he has the car also.

Replies would be appreciated

K xxxx

---------- Post added at 21:25 ---------- Previous post was at 21:11 ----------

Anybody?! X

[kurtis1990]

im going threw heart and bp related things atm so i know how your feeling

[RoseEve]

Have you done cbt? I do irrational thought logs. You would write down those thoughts and rate your feelings. Then you right a rational thought and re evaluate your feelings. It's very helpful.

[Fishmanpa]

Hi FA,

Sorry you're having a time of it. There's a verse in Matthew 26:41 that says "the mind is willing but the flesh is weak." It refers to moral issues and our strength and ability to adhere to them. A similar saying stemmed from that saying "the mind is willing but the body is weak." which refers to our intention on a physical level.

I believe anxiety and HA takes a willing body but the mind prevents it from doing what it wants. From taking a walk, to going on a trip to hitting the gym. I see example after example of things a person is easily capable of doing being thwarted by the psyche.

Of course I'm not a doctor or psychological expert but it sounds like the "Big Bad Monster" sunk it's teeth into you right good! You did incredibly well overcoming your fears and going back to the gym but unfortunately the lead up and most probably some unconscious level of anxiety was building up. You did your exercise and felt great and all of a sudden the monster vomited all that pent up anxiety on you and what your feeling now are the nasty after effects. Sort of like how we react to an emergency situation like a near miss in an auto accident. We react and get through it and it's only afterwards does our heart really start pounding.

The way to over come it is to get right back up on the horse and do it again. That's part of what CBT is about. If we can de-sensitize ourselves to things that normally cause an adverse reaction, we can eventually eliminate the reaction or at the very least live in peaceful co-existence with it. I suffer from misophonia, which is an aversion to sounds. Certain sounds really cause a negative reaction in me. Through CBT I've been able to slowly expose myself to those annoying as hell sounds and learn to tune them out and in some cases come to the point of giving a crap less about them ;)

You've already taken some really positive steps. Don't let that "Big Bad Monster" prevent you from continuing to take those steps. It's perfectly Ok to take baby steps as long as you keep taking them. Healing is no walk in the park...that's why it called healing ;)

You're fine really. Pat yourself on the back and ride the wave. When's your next gym date?

Positive thoughts

[nomorepanic]

Maybe not ask for fishmanpa in the title as I ignored the post thinking it was something only he could deal with or knew about.

Other people have helped you with the problems you have.

[Female healthanxiety]

so so so so sorry for the late reply! Think my Thread ended up on page 3 by the time I logged back on.... it is getting very busy on here!

Nicola - apologies, I did not mean for my post to sound like it was just for Fihmanpa, it's just that he was great and knew about my last 3 posts!

Thank you for your reply Fishmanpa - :bighug1:

I get your comment re the Big Bad Monster - HA reminds me of one of the Nicorette adverts where the cigarette is following the person around! ARGHHHHHHHHHH!:roflmao:

I have not been gym since I last went to A&E XXX

[Andrash]

Hi FHA,

Aftershocks. Remember? ;)

Hugs, A