brigidite
26-01-14, 07:11
Hi everyone,
Im glad i found this forum..i hope i can find any help by sharing any experience...here is my story:
I'm 31 yo female, live in Auckland, NZ and I just self-diagnosed with ocpd (obsessive-compulsive personality disorder). I've been suffering with this disorder since i was a kid, but never thought it's one of the personality disorders.
I'm a super perfectionist person and a control freak.I like making plans. Everything has to be in a good order. Everything has to be tidy and perfect, same heights or same colours. I make a very high standard expectations even for myself. I'm very discipline and always on time. I hate being late. If I knew that I'm running late, then i felt very anxious and very angry to my self, or often blamed it to my partner.
If anything has changed out of my control, i would get so angry, upset, frustrated or even depressed. Thinking myself as a failure. More often I started blaming & hating other people who changed anything I've done. Then I felt that they changed it to ruin my life, or simply hate me.
I became a person who never trusted anyone. I stop talking about my life to others because i'm afraid people would spread my stories and they would judge me. I became a super judgemental person. I dont like delegating any work to others because they never achieved my expectations.
Then I just realised, this OCPD thing, is the reason I've never been happy with my workplace. I always feel everyone wants to put me down.
I haven't seek a professional treatment yet, and prefer to do self-medication first. Is anyone here having the same problem as mine? Can we please share and discuss together. I terribly need some advice from people with the same problem..
I am very looking forward to talking with someone who can help...
Thank you!
Brigidite
Im glad i found this forum..i hope i can find any help by sharing any experience...here is my story:
I'm 31 yo female, live in Auckland, NZ and I just self-diagnosed with ocpd (obsessive-compulsive personality disorder). I've been suffering with this disorder since i was a kid, but never thought it's one of the personality disorders.
I'm a super perfectionist person and a control freak.I like making plans. Everything has to be in a good order. Everything has to be tidy and perfect, same heights or same colours. I make a very high standard expectations even for myself. I'm very discipline and always on time. I hate being late. If I knew that I'm running late, then i felt very anxious and very angry to my self, or often blamed it to my partner.
If anything has changed out of my control, i would get so angry, upset, frustrated or even depressed. Thinking myself as a failure. More often I started blaming & hating other people who changed anything I've done. Then I felt that they changed it to ruin my life, or simply hate me.
I became a person who never trusted anyone. I stop talking about my life to others because i'm afraid people would spread my stories and they would judge me. I became a super judgemental person. I dont like delegating any work to others because they never achieved my expectations.
Then I just realised, this OCPD thing, is the reason I've never been happy with my workplace. I always feel everyone wants to put me down.
I haven't seek a professional treatment yet, and prefer to do self-medication first. Is anyone here having the same problem as mine? Can we please share and discuss together. I terribly need some advice from people with the same problem..
I am very looking forward to talking with someone who can help...
Thank you!
Brigidite