Holiday fast approaching

[jayjoe18]

I'm starting to feel the effects now, the anxiety is getting much worse and sleeping is becoming an issue. I'm also having dreams related to the holiday and waking up feeling sick. I keep getting waves of panic, my mind is racing :weep:

My anxiety says I don't want to go but my old self says what a great holiday it would be, but I'm not my old self so the anxiety is winning as usual.

I can just not go but then my anxiety kicks in again with panic about staying at home on my own for a full week, what if I get ill etc. I feel like I will die of panic in either two situations, what the hell do I do!!?!?

My mum is my safe person and I just can't be without her, that means going with her.

I just can't win, I am petrified!

Then there's explaining it to others, I know people will think how can she go on holiday if she has anxiety and can't do other things. And that's totally right, the thing is I can't go on holiday, I have been forced into it by my anxiety as I can't bare to be home alone. I can't stay with family as I have social anxiety around everyone and I have no friends. I am totally trapped which ever way I turn. I am really in a bad place right now.

I was thinking of going to the doctors and upping my medication and getting something else like Diazepam but she doesn't know about the holiday, I feel embarrassed, how do I explain it?

I am in a mess, please if anyone has any words, I have nobody to talk to about it :weep::weep::weep::weep:

[Oosh]

I think you should go on the holiday. Where is the holiday to ? What is it that worries you about going on a holiday ?

"My anxiety says I don't want to go but my old self says what a great holiday it would be, but I'm not my old self so the anxiety is winning as usual."

Your old self is the real you. Focus on that. You're right, what a great holiday it will be. You choose what you focus on. Ignore the anxieties. Let them enter your mind and leave again.

List all the things there is going to be for you to enjoy on the holiday.
Make this a habit.

You'll be with your mum ? Cool ! That's another good thing.

Take some good books, music.

Forget what anyone else thinks. Your problems are genuine. You don't need to explain to anyone. And if you did you'd tell them you were terrified to go but more terrified of being on your own. Sounds good to me.

[lizzie29]

I've had times like this before, where I've been anxious about going somewhere but couldn't stay home alone without my "safe" people. It's always been better than I anticipated, and at least being anxious WITH your safe person is better than being anxious WITHOUT them.

Take loads of things to do and distract yourself, and keep busy. And try to find things to look forward to about it. When do you go?

[pinkofire]

I know how you feel!! Holidays for me are literally a straight up no. Wouldn't even attempt it the fear of being ill all the time Im there and the crowded airport and being stuck on a plane for so many hours. I had a few holidays a few years back when I wasn't as bad as I am now. I was actually ill on one of the holidays and it wasn't even that bad so I don't know why I worry. But if you are going too go take music and books and things. I find it so embarrassing to even tell people about my anxiety and why I don't like going on holiday I just think they will think im stupid because they don't understand :blush: