jayjoe18
26-01-14, 14:45
I'm starting to feel the effects now, the anxiety is getting much worse and sleeping is becoming an issue. I'm also having dreams related to the holiday and waking up feeling sick. I keep getting waves of panic, my mind is racing :weep:
My anxiety says I don't want to go but my old self says what a great holiday it would be, but I'm not my old self so the anxiety is winning as usual.
I can just not go but then my anxiety kicks in again with panic about staying at home on my own for a full week, what if I get ill etc. I feel like I will die of panic in either two situations, what the hell do I do!!?!?
My mum is my safe person and I just can't be without her, that means going with her.
I just can't win, I am petrified!
Then there's explaining it to others, I know people will think how can she go on holiday if she has anxiety and can't do other things. And that's totally right, the thing is I can't go on holiday, I have been forced into it by my anxiety as I can't bare to be home alone. I can't stay with family as I have social anxiety around everyone and I have no friends. I am totally trapped which ever way I turn. I am really in a bad place right now.
I was thinking of going to the doctors and upping my medication and getting something else like Diazepam but she doesn't know about the holiday, I feel embarrassed, how do I explain it?
I am in a mess, please if anyone has any words, I have nobody to talk to about it :weep::weep::weep::weep:
My anxiety says I don't want to go but my old self says what a great holiday it would be, but I'm not my old self so the anxiety is winning as usual.
I can just not go but then my anxiety kicks in again with panic about staying at home on my own for a full week, what if I get ill etc. I feel like I will die of panic in either two situations, what the hell do I do!!?!?
My mum is my safe person and I just can't be without her, that means going with her.
I just can't win, I am petrified!
Then there's explaining it to others, I know people will think how can she go on holiday if she has anxiety and can't do other things. And that's totally right, the thing is I can't go on holiday, I have been forced into it by my anxiety as I can't bare to be home alone. I can't stay with family as I have social anxiety around everyone and I have no friends. I am totally trapped which ever way I turn. I am really in a bad place right now.
I was thinking of going to the doctors and upping my medication and getting something else like Diazepam but she doesn't know about the holiday, I feel embarrassed, how do I explain it?
I am in a mess, please if anyone has any words, I have nobody to talk to about it :weep::weep::weep::weep: