jayjoe18
26-01-14, 15:09
I just feel so overwhelmed, trapped, under pressure, desperate, I don't know where to turn, my life is a total mess.
My life revolves around doing things for others (which I do willingly) but I just get so frustrated sometimes because I can never do anything for myself, it's hard to explain, I just feel that I rarely enjoy myself or do anything that I want because I am so trapped by anxiety. I have no independance and at nearly 21 it's really hard. I feel a lot of pressure to do things, especially career wise, I want to go to university but I don't see a way to get there. I want to have a job and be part of society, I feel embarrassed and totally ashamed that I am on benefits.
I also feel an absolute loser because I have no social life, no friends at all. I also feel a freak because I have never had a boyfriend, I just don't know how I will ever be able to be intimate with someone. It causes me so much anxiety.
I've had problems for 8 years now and I just feel it's all getting too much, I am desperate to be normal. I don't care if I still have some anxiety, I will learn to deal with it, I know I always will have it. I just want to be able to function and have some sort of a life. Some enjoyment, excitement. Some independance. I really want to drive but my toilet phobia and anxiety holds me back.
This is all part of the reason I broke down yesterday, along with the pressure of an upcoming holiday which I just feel is too much to bear.
I am also confused and impatient with regards to medication, I am on week 12 of 5mg Cipralex, I have seen positive results but if I am still feeling as I have described above, I wonder is 5mg enough? How long do I have to wait to increase and how do you know when you should increase.
On top of this I have started to notice physical and mental strain caused by what I presume is long standing anxiety, I just can't think straight or remember things anymore and I have a lot more physical symptoms than I used to.
I am trying to sort therapy but there will probably be a long wait and to be honest I just feel so unmotivated. I've done therapy many times in the past and I'm just fed up with it.
It's just all too much, I really could break down.
My life revolves around doing things for others (which I do willingly) but I just get so frustrated sometimes because I can never do anything for myself, it's hard to explain, I just feel that I rarely enjoy myself or do anything that I want because I am so trapped by anxiety. I have no independance and at nearly 21 it's really hard. I feel a lot of pressure to do things, especially career wise, I want to go to university but I don't see a way to get there. I want to have a job and be part of society, I feel embarrassed and totally ashamed that I am on benefits.
I also feel an absolute loser because I have no social life, no friends at all. I also feel a freak because I have never had a boyfriend, I just don't know how I will ever be able to be intimate with someone. It causes me so much anxiety.
I've had problems for 8 years now and I just feel it's all getting too much, I am desperate to be normal. I don't care if I still have some anxiety, I will learn to deal with it, I know I always will have it. I just want to be able to function and have some sort of a life. Some enjoyment, excitement. Some independance. I really want to drive but my toilet phobia and anxiety holds me back.
This is all part of the reason I broke down yesterday, along with the pressure of an upcoming holiday which I just feel is too much to bear.
I am also confused and impatient with regards to medication, I am on week 12 of 5mg Cipralex, I have seen positive results but if I am still feeling as I have described above, I wonder is 5mg enough? How long do I have to wait to increase and how do you know when you should increase.
On top of this I have started to notice physical and mental strain caused by what I presume is long standing anxiety, I just can't think straight or remember things anymore and I have a lot more physical symptoms than I used to.
I am trying to sort therapy but there will probably be a long wait and to be honest I just feel so unmotivated. I've done therapy many times in the past and I'm just fed up with it.
It's just all too much, I really could break down.