My Story

[Deb Izz]

Hello all,
Hope this appears in the correct forum as I'm new to this and not sure on what to do, but here's my story,

I'm 35 and live in the Midlands with my wonderful husband. I first started having attacks when I was 15 and hadn't a clue what was happening. I was frightened of being sick whilst out and would panic, which in turn made me feel sick! My Mom took me to the docs and he said it was just an upset tummy!!!!! I then suffered these attacks in silence for many years and avoided going anywhere apart from school. I didn't have many friends at school and was bullied (I had a deformed jaw which didn't help my confidence and other kids would be cruel). I started getting better when I started work, the people I worked with were older and were great to me, so slowly I built up my confidence and by my early twenties had my life back again. I even had the confidence to have 2 major operations to correct my deformed jaw, with no panic attacks!!!! I then met my husband, who is wonderful, he's my soul mate and I love him dearly. We were married in 1998 and I had a wonderful day and honeymoon without any panic or anxiety. cont'd

Deb x

[Deb Izz]

Sorry I ran out of space. I've suffered in silence for a long time and I have a lot to tell!!!!!!!!

My Hubbie then got a job in Newcastle (he'd been unemployed for a year), so he was away during the week. I was fine to begin with but then one night when I went to bed I went into a terrible panic and didn't sleep at all that night, or the next, not at all that week. I was in a terrible state, crying when I was on my own and not sleeping. The only time I slept during the week is if I had a couple of glasses of wine before bed. But eventually I got over it again and life settled down. We then bought our dream house and within a few months I was pregnant, sadly I miscarried at 12 weeks and couldn't face going back to work, so I left my job and spent more time with my hubbie in Newcastle. We then went to Australia for a year and had a great time, apart from a few anxious moments I didn't have any attacks.
But now they're back with a vengeance and with different symptoms (headaches and dizziness) and I'm devasted as I'd thought I'd left them behind. Well that's my story (I've kept it as brief as poss!!!)
It's wonderful to have found this website, I've always thought I was on my own,

Deb x

[kate]

Hi Deb,

Welcome to the site.

I'm in the Midlands too, Birmingham. Where abouts are you?

Great isn't it to get support from people who REALLY understand!!:D

Look forward to hearing more from you!

Kate x

[Meg]

Hey Deb,

Welcome to the site ,

If you keep on writing the page gets longer. You can write as much as you like in one post .

So whats troubling you now to have brought them back ? If they're panic driven then there will be a trigger- what are you dwelling on again and again, maybe just in the background.

What other symptoms have you got that lead you to think these are anxiety if they're different from previously ?







Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[sal]

Hi Deb

Pleased you got to the right place to introduce yourself!!!

Sounds like you have had a lot of ups and down. Is there any major reason why you think it has all come back again.

Are you still not working? Sounds like your husband is really supportive, which is great news.

Pleased you found this site it will help you loads and makes you realise how not alone we are.

Keep in touch.

Love Sal xxxx

[Deb Izz]

Hi Folks,
Thanks for your messages, I'm not sure what has triggered the lastest episode, I have had a lot to deal with recently. I started a new job last November after having 2 years off work, and I really enjoy it and the people I work with are great. My new job is at a boarding school so I get lots of holidays but the last 2 weeks before the end of term I was really busy and under pressure, not even taking a lunch break.
My husband has been in and out of work since we got back from Oz last August and we have a lot of debt so we've had lots of threatening letters from debt collectors. My husband has recently gone back to work in Newcastle, he didn't have much choice as the job is well paid and we don't want to have to sell our dream house.
I had the miscarriage 3 years ago and we've been trying for a baby ever since with no luck, we recently had fertility checkups and I'm fine but my husband has low motile sperm count and it will cost us £1800 to have the neccessary IVF treatment and I really do want to have kids and I'm not getting any younger.
I've also been stressing about my friends wedding next week (I'm one of the bridesmaids).

It could be anyone of the above but I thought I was coping really well with everything, that's why I had no idea the latest symptoms were panic attacks and anxiety. But the doctor has done all the tests and can't find anything wrong with me.

(Hi Kate, I'm in Kingswinford which is between Dudley and Wolverhampton)


Deb x

[sal]

Hi Deb

You have had a lot to cope with over the time and one thing we can cope with, but when there are lots of issues it eventually catches up with us.

You have been working hard like you said and that is a big pressure on its own.

As for debt that can make the hardest people grumble. Plus you are at home during the week on your own, without your husband, lots of time on your own, which when feeling how we do isnt always the answer.

I am pleased you enjoy your job, but whilst on the school holidays take out time for yourself.

Even thought about joining a gym or treating yourself to different kind of therapies like massage, indian head etc. I know they can be pricy but they are really beneficial to.

I am not surpised you are feeling poorly at the moment, when you look at the built up there has been a lot for you to contend with.

Keep in touch.

Take care and enjoy the holidays.

Love Sal xxxxx

[Deb Izz]

Thank you Sal, it's great to have support from people who know exactly what I'm going through. My Husband is very supportive, he has had a couple of bouts of depression and is taking Paroxotine, so he sort of understands what I go through and my Mom has suffered (in silence) over the years so she kind of understands too.
I'm taking everything one day at a time and I'm making myself go to different places everyday and it gets a little easier everytime.
I'd love to join a gym and have massage but unfortunately with all the debt we have I don't have the spare cash. I love to shop and I'm an avid bargain hunter so that's keeping me busy at present and I'm also spending lots of time in the garden which helps.

Thank you again Sal and thank heavens I found this website, it is fantastic and you are all wonderful:D

Deb x

[kate]

Hi Deb,

Just a thought on the massage.

If you have a college of higher education near to you their trainee beauty therapists offer cut price treatments in their salons, to enable them to practise on you!!:D

You have had to deal with a lot of pressures lately and a little pampering for yourself wouldn't go amiss!!

Keep posting, Deb!!

Kate x

[Meg]

Deb,
It sounds like you are very overwhelmed with worries and concerns . Financial concerns particular often set off anxiety as its a survival thing as well as needing money for your IVF.

Do you worry constantly about how you will cope with it and not being on top of it all as yet ?

I'm taking everything one day at a time and I'm making myself go to different places everyday and it gets a little easier everytime - this is brilliant and just what you need .

I guess Ebay is getting a battering too.


Enjoy the wedding, once you're there the anticipatory anxiety will vanish and you'll be able to relax more and just go with it all.






Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch