Intrusive/anxious thoughts causing me MAJOR problems

[AnxiousPansa]

Hi everyone
I posted about my intrusive thoughts a few days ago but now it had gotten out of hand. I got sent home from college again today after breaking down in tears for the second time this morning because I can find no peace in my mind. I am making anxious/intrusive thoughts out of literally everything - what if I shout somethign out in front of the class? what if I walk out in front of that car? what if I hut someone around me or myself? Now ive started on what if I hold my breathe all the time? It is so horrible these thoughts are all I think about and I am really struggling to find any peace and enjoyment. I am seeing a councellor on thursday but I just dont know what to do until then. How can I stop getting intrusive thoughts about quite literally everything? I feel like its all piling on top of me and I cant cope. Thank you

[craigj1303]

Hi There

The best advice I can give having suffered extensively with intrusive thoughts myself is to "stop trying" to stop them.

I spent years living with intrusive thoughts, "what if I hurt my wife or my little ones", "what if I become a peadophile", "what if i'm turning gay, that would ruin my families lives" etc etc.

For me this has continued on and off for years. Until I discovered various resources, such as this site, a couple of really good books on anxiey and CBT I allowed these thoughts to frighten me, cause more worry, more anxiety which in turn led to more intrusive thoughts as the body is on a state of high alert all the time.

When I sit back and think of all the years I spent worrying about hurting my partner or children, how many times did I do it. Zero. Have I turned gay? No, still love women! Since my daughter was born 7 years ago and I started to get worries over "what if I become a peadophile?" , have I become one? Of course not. So those years of worry was time well spent wasn't it!

Intrusive thoughts lead to fear, leads to worry, leads to anxiety, leads to adrenalin, leads to more intrusive thoughts and on and on. It might take time, weeks, months, but the sooner you stop believing the thoughts the sooner they will stop coming in. Just let them come in to your head and exist with them, but don't be frightened of them, that's the key.

[Tanner40]

Craig has given you some excellent advice from his own experiences. Intrusive thoughts are very much like anxiety, in that the more attention that you give to them, the harder it is to stop them from spiraling out of control.

[Rennie1989]

what if I shout somethign out in front of the class?
You won't

what if I walk out in front of that car?
You won't

what if I hut someone around me or myself?
You won't

Now ive started on what if I hold my breathe all the time?
You won't

The more focus on them (which seems to be the issue here) you worse and more frequent they'll become. Nothing will happen to you if these thoughts jump into your mind. I've had them for absolutely years and I've never acted on them, infact, I'm learning to make light of them. I walked passed a glass shop yesterday and I said to my husband 'My intrusive thoughts want me to sway my arms and smash them all!' it won't happen because the thoughts do not control my actions.

So remember that. Nothing will happen. They are only thoughts.

[shakey1961]

When I was at school (many many years ago now 1970's) the maths teacher gave us some quick fun mental problems at the beginning of lessons.

Here's one I remember. The circus strongman was very sad and he didn't want to live anymore. He decided to strangle himself with his own hands. Did he succeed?

Being kids we discussed it for a few minutes, some said yes, some said no.

The correct answer is no. Why? Because he could only strangle himself to the point where he would collapse. When he collapsed his grip would release and he would start breathing again.

Why am I telling you this? You said "What if I hold my breath?" So... what if you hold your breath, you'll faint and start breathing again.

What if you shout something? What if you hurt someone? I've said this before, the fact that you are aware of your thoughts and don't act on them mean that they're just that - THOUGHTS!

What if I was driving at 70mph on a motorway and I pull the wheel hard to the right? What if I throw a brick through someone's window? What if I were hit my mate hard across the face? I've had those, but I don't worry about them. I tell them to sod off, laugh it off and carry on.

Tell you what, next time you're in college and in your class I want you to stand up and shout something. Go on, you can do it. Really have a go and stand up. Bang you desk with your fist or something similar to make a noise.

And let me guess, you'll come back on here and tell me you couldn't do it, even with encouragement.

[craigj1303]

What if I was driving at 70mph on a motorway and I pull the wheel hard to the right? What if I throw a brick through someone's window? What if I were hit my mate hard across the face?

:D I've had all those. One of my other "favourites" was when i'd be stood talking to a colleague at work whilst holding a cup of hot coffee. "What if I just hurled this coffee all over her face" That used to crop up regularly for a period of weeks / months.

Also, watching disturbing stuff on TV, e.g. a documentary about a serial killer. "What if I turn in to someone like that? What if i'm capable of doing something like that?":shrug:

[bigh123]

i get these thoughts to , what if i throw up , what if i just punch this person in the face , what if i crash the car

[AnxiousPansa]

thank you all for your responses. I am trying hard to accept the thoughts and keep myself occupied so I don't pay them too much attention. I get that 'what if I throw up' too! Its so horrible its almost as if every single aspect of life has a what if applied to it :(

[shakey1961]

The more you try to not do something, the more you think about it.

If I tell you not to think of the number 243, like you must not think about it at all, what are you doing now, yes thinking of 243.

The more to try not to think of something the more you will do it.

Let the thoughts come but let them go too!

[Bonnibelle]

I get intrusive thoughts about all kinds of things. They started last year, what if's about hurting myself or my children but since then they can be about anything. What if i bang my head on the wall, what if I scream infront of people in a shop...... really intrusive thoughts.

This is all a form of OCD and you would really benefit from reading some articles by Dr Penzel, a very good OCD doctor in the US. http://www.ocfoundation.org/expert.aspx You can read his articles on that link.

You need to accept the thoughts are just thoughts, exactly like Rennie said they aren't actions. They cause you distress because you fear them so much. Remember this, a wanted thought can be acted upon, an unwanted thought cannot.