Realization?

[Laurr90]

Hey everyone. So, lately I have been making some small changes in my life in order to alleviate some anxiety but I feel in the process of doing so it has heightened my anxiety. It has me thinking that this is because beforehand I had relied on these certain activities as a way to channel my anxiety.

For instance, some of the things I have cut out are as follows:

- Drinking
- smoking
- checking my boyfriends phone and facebook religiously
- facebook stalking his ex religiously to make myself feel better for "winning" him

Has anyone else noticed that when they cut out these "crutches" so to speak, that they actually got MORE anxious?

---------- Post added at 07:16 ---------- Previous post was at 07:15 ----------

I know it seems like a given, but honestly I feel like the reason I cut these things out were because they would be contributing more to my anxiety.. but it just seems like it's gotten worse.

[Oosh]

If you're feeling insecure and anxious, cutting out all of those things would make anyone worse.

Alcohol is definitely a good one to quit. I packed in years ago. Whenever I GAVE had a drink I notice straight away a massive rise in anxiety. That's THE reason why I can't drink anymore now.

Smoking was probably helping with anxiety but it's unhealthy.
Maybe go onto those e-cigs for a while and gradually cut down.

Checking your boyfriends stuff. Means you're feeling insecure. Checking his stuff reassures you he's not gonna leave you and makes you feel more secure.
How longs it been though ? Does there come a point when you gather enough evidence to be able to say you trust him ?
Do you see day to day that he values his relationship with you ?
Any reason why you shouldn't trust him ?
I'm not sure that ones anxiety. If you felt secure you wouldn't look.
"I'm a catch. If he's stupid enough to do something to jeapordise his relationship with me I'll drop him like a bad habit. His loss."
Feels better to think like that. Learn to see yourself with more value.

[WhyWhyWhy]

In the last two months, I've stopped drinking. The anxiety that came with a hangover was crippling.
In the last 3 weeks I've quite smoking, the sore throat and harsh chest bought on lots of anxieties and endless googling... So I then diagnosed myself with lots of incurable nasty things.

Facebook?? I have facebook habits I'm not proud of, I check everyday. Yesterday I did not check and realise that I felt better right up until the moment this morning when I remembered that I hadn't checked for a whole day. I was like WHAT HAVE I MISSED. I felt like I'd let myself down for not keeping on top and checking like I usually would. So today I've checked and felt better, but I have read that this ritual will make us feel better temporarily but essentially is making us worse.

I'd say keep on going because it's the healthy thing to do. Maybe it's a case of it gets worse before it gets better? Xxx

[Rennie1989]

You're thinking about it more, and the last two seem to have been obsessions and cutting out an obsession does increase anxiety, naturally. I have an awful habit of checking doors, switches etc time after time and not checking increases my anxiety, but over time it's got less and less so. Don't give up now, the first two points for your health and the last two points for the sake of your relationship.