Anyone else feel stupid going to docs?

[LF87]

I've got an appointment today and it has to be said, I am starting to feel ridiculous going there. It's averaging on once every month and a half I'd say, with different problems. I've been about mouth cancer, I've even been when I've had an ulcers. I've been about breast cancer more than once, I've been about headaches, tumours, undiscovered aneurysms. Today I'm going about my heart.
I can't help but feel the receptionists are almost sniggering when I'm there, AGAIN. My gp is fully aware of my HA and other anxiety problems, but I still feel she's thinking I'm ridiculous. The last time I was there she asked me to go get my eyes tested because of my headaches and organize some blood tests at my doctors surgery. I have done neither out of fear of the results, so I'm a bit scared shes going to think I'm wasting her time? Do I sound paranoid? I'm not sure anymore.
Also, I've been thinking about my breast lumpy things again. I have had my gp and another doctor do an examination and say they weren't concerned, but it's niggling at me again. Should I ask her to check again today, as well as my heart complaints? Or be satisfied that theyve checked already?
The main point of this post is I am worrying about this appointment. Theres so many things I want to discuss but I'm scared to.

[Tanner40]

LF, the more reassurance that I regularly sought, from physicians, friends, family, and from folks on NMP, the worse that I became. That momentary reassurance felt great, as I was able to go, "thank goodness it's not just me. I'm going to be okay". The only problem was the reassurance didn't last long, no matter what the source.

The only thing that helped me was to accept that all of my random symptoms were just anxiety. I still have to continually practice acceptance. Ask yourself, how many doctor visits will it take for you to really be reassured once and for all?

The real question is what are you doing to help your anxiety? Are you on any type of medication? Are you doing any type of counseling or CBT? Are you doing any type of meditation or exercise? What about distractions or making yourself laugh? All of these things are so important in controlling anxiety. Reassurance is not important.

[Fishmanpa]

^^^^ What Tanner said!

Positive thoughts

[LF87]

Thanks for the replies.
I am seeing a psychologist for my health anxiety, but she's been off sick for weeks. I'm going to speak to the doctor about medication today. I'm reluctant to take tablets as I've had fluoextine in the past and it made me feel bizarre. I've also been prescribed propanalol
, but I only take those if I'm feeling particularly anxious.
I think the problem is I'm not at that stage where I believe it's all anxiety yet. It's hard to when you have a genuine symptom, like a breast lump that can be physically felt. Accepting it's just 'nothing' is something I'm finding incredibly hard. This is because both of my parents have had sudden illnesses that went undetected and were very very serious. But they both played their symptoms down. So I suppose I've learned a bit of a lesson. Or somewhere in my head I have, that you need to shout loud about any symptoms. They're both ok now, but it's just this idea of accepting the what the doctors say. And I know reassurance doesn't really work. I'm back at square one every time.

I just don't know whether I should keep on about symptoms. Does that make sense?

[Fishmanpa]

What if you openly discussed your HA? She already knows about it. Express what you're expressing here to her. Discuss the possibility of meds. Discuss your embarrassment and perhaps put together a plan to keep you from needlessly seeing her for reassurance. Even in this instance, you're fully aware that the chances of having a serious heart issue are slim to none but you're still going to be reassured and as has happened before, it's cool for a while until the next niggle comes along. Let her know about the therapy and see if she can pitch in to further enforce what you're trying to accomplish.

Positive thoughts

[LF87]

Yeah I'm going to do that fishman. Got appointment in 10 mins. Feel a right prat. How do you tell a doctor that you're worried you have a heart problem, and then a ps I'm worried I've still got breast cancer. I feel like I don't even know why I'm going anymore!
Argh, the embarrassment.

---------- Post added at 16:59 ---------- Previous post was at 15:30 ----------

Back from the doctors. She listened to my heart and said it sounds fine, she also took my blood pressure and said it was spot on. She checked my lump in breast again and said she's not concerned. However she did give me an appointment card to get an ecg done. I can't remember if she said this before or after listening. I think she did it possibly before she listened, when I mentioned the chest pain. But she did say everything sounded fine. Doctors can't lie can they? Like say it sounds fine but really it doesn't, so that the people at the hospital have to tell me theres something wrong? She said she still wants my bloods done, because there is nothing up to date on her system. Is this all normal procedure?

[Fishmanpa]

Sounds like she's doing what a good doctor would do. Just affirming what she already knows and offering more reassurance for you.

Positive thoughts

[LF87]

Yeah. Thanks for messages today :) x

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

Did you have an open and honest conversation about your HA? :unsure:

[LF87]

I did. I told her I felt ridiculous coming in all the time and she said it's understandable after the year I've had in terms of family illness. She said she thinks it's actually beneficial for me to come in if I'm worried, rather than sit and obsess, and that shes happy to see me to discuss any worries I might have until I'm more comfortable or further into the CBT therapy.
Thank you for asking :) x

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

Oh, good....it makes a world of difference when you ca be candid with your doctor. :)

[LF87]

Yeah definitely does! She was really nice about everything x