Doctors Appointment Tomorrow

[Shelly06]

And I've not been able to concentrate on anything else since weekend knowing it was this close now.

I do have sypmtoms and have been having them for quite a few months now:

- Spotting around the time I think I'm ovulating, though it hasn't really happened that I've noticed last month.

- Slight pain off and on started over my ovary area on the right of my belly button and down a bit, but it has been over the left too and above my belly button and below, so everywhere really but mainly the first area.

- Waking up some early mornings for a wee when I wouldn't normally. And when I had the acid reflux period I had one or two mornings of panic. I also had a mild panic attack about a week ago in the evening.

- I used to have Asthma when I was younger and when we moved later in my life I don't know what happened I just never got anymore inhalers. My breathing is fine, apart from when I panic. And don't know whether to mention this and get a peak flow test done but I know that isn't solely a test for Asthma and I have no wheezing or coughing etc.

- I always feel so tired no matter how much sleep I get. Can't concentrate. Am irritable. Maybe the irritable part is that I'm not happy with my life right now though.

- I have been feeling on and off sicky and dizzy too for quite a while.

- I've had the tingling hands and feet, feeling like my feet are buzzing.

- I've had a bit of acid reflux recently that I've never really had before bad. As well as chest pain but I've had that since I was much younger.

- Back ache/pain.

- I had a bad cold for a weeks over Christmas and my glands were up and they still are, though my gums were very inflamed and sore a week or so ago and my neck hurt a lot so they might be still swollen from that as well. I don't know whether I have another wisdom tooth coming out, thought I'd had them all, or if it was my tooth with filling in that was hurting a bit helping to cause that. I don't have toothache all the time and it's no where near bad enough to make me go the dentist as I'm more petrified of them than the doctors, plus I don't have money for the dentist.

- My legs hurt a lot but then again I do have varicose veins so I guess that's the reason for that.

- I ache all over most of the time. My arms and hands feel heavy and ache. Today my left arm and hand and fingers are really aching and my hands sometimes feel weak and odd.


And a few other little things.

I'm terrified about tomorrow for a number of reasons.

1 - My doctors has moved and I've only been in reception at this new place, never booked in, waited or gone near the doctors rooms.

2 - I'm seeing a doctor I've never seen before as I asked for a woman.

3 - I'm a nervous wreck anyway when I've got to go anywhere on my own, I can force myself but it comes with a lot of stomach ache and fear.

4 - I can't help but think I'm going to sound stupid going in there and stating the above. I was going to write it all down, but if I go in giving her an A4 piece of paper with all my symptoms on is she going to think I'm just crazy? Should I write it all down?

5 - It's a routine appointment so I'm guessing she's going to want to do weight and blood pressure etc, I'm never calm when in the doctors.

6 - I feel stupid at the thought of mentioning my anxiety again. I've seen Counsellors before and a mental health nurse and they were no help at all. I'm also afraid she's just going to want to shove pills at me if I mention it. A doctor years ago just gave me anti depressants and that was it. Should I mention my anxiety and list it on the paper mentioned above? I'm sure I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Health Anxiety, Social Anxiety, mild OCD etc. I've had them all my life and something has to change. I am at home all the time, don't work right now due to me being so anxious, have no money, am totally dependent on my partner, have loads of fears of losing everyone. So want to move out of my parents as we need our own space and the whole living situation does my head in, but with just his wage it would be really difficult. I can't walk our dog on my own for fear of dogs attacking him. When I go out it's usually with my partner and I stress all the time around people, unless I'm in the vets talking about my dog then I can chat to people a bit more. If I go out on my own my heart starts racing before I've left the house, more so if I have an appointment, I feel fear when outside with people leaving my comfort zone and everything. I spend fifteen minutes checking all doors windows and electrics at night in case of incidents, burglars all while people laugh at me and call me crazy. I'm just tired of it all and all the fear.

7 - I'm the kind with HA that avoids the doctors and it terrifies me that they may want to do tests and what the results of those would be. I've only been to the doctors three times in the past few years. Once when I worked up the courage finally to go for my first smear test which was fine. Once as they thought I needed stockings for my varicose veins so had to go for a Doppler Ultrasound on my legs. And then the nurse wanted my blood tested for Diabetes and I don't know what else, on this one I was called back in to have the drink test glucose thing, that was all fine in the end though. But it does still worry me that I might have it now or get it.

8 - My dad was always sick since I was born, don't know what he had but it was a progressive thing when I was 5 he had a lower mental age than I did, he was put into a nursing home when I was 6/7ish and he died when I was 9. My mum was diagnosed with Chronic Progressive MS last year, so I'm terrified that I have really bad genes or something and I'm bound to get something and am scared of MS etc too.

So anyway, I don't know what to do tomorrow, I've been sitting here with stomach ache thinking about it all day and I'm scared that she might actually find something, I'm too scared to poke my own stomach to feel if there's anything there that shouldn't be, though I don't know what it should feel like anyway. Plus I only have ten minutes if she keeps on time and look at that load above! I don't know what to say about my anxiety etc or if she'll do anything anyway.

My family think I'm crazy and joke that they'll come and visit at weekend when I'm locked away either that or she'll laugh me out of the surgery, that all isn't helping my anxiety either but I'm used to that by now. As my family don't suffer with abnormal anxiety they think I'm just crazy and my partner thinks it's nothing and I can just get over it and stop all the 'nonsense' whenever I want to.

:scared15:

If anyone has actually read all of that, well done if you're still awake, I'm sure sometimes I should be bottled and put on sale for insomnia, in my above long winded moments. :shrug:

[Andrash]

Shelly darling,

Don't be insulted, but honestly-if you had strength, concentration, willpower and drive to write this lengthy Russian novel here, it's really, really, really nothing wrong with you, except anxiety. Believe me :)

Go to your GP, explain her everything (yes, including anxiety). Don't be afraid of the pills-if she prescribes them, drink them. She'll calm you down and you'll be perfectly fine.

Apart from that, maybe you should consider joining the Labour-you really do have talent for these looooooooooong speeches and you are NHS addicted. :) Say a bad thing or two about the Queen and there you are, you'll be Dennis Skinner's personal assistant in no time :D

[Shelly06]

:roflmao: No offence taken, made me laugh actually. :lisa:

I have just wrote everything down and yes it's long as well, hope she likes a good read :read: And I will bring up the subject of my anxiety as well as see how that goes.

My appointment is for 1.40pm so I'm going to leave at 1.00pm even though I can walk there in ten minutes, so I can calm down a bit in the waiting room and see how it works in this new place and where everyone else goes.

Thanks for the reply. :)

[Andrash]

Post here how your appointment went :)

[Shelly06]

I feel very tired now, heart was pounding when I was sitting in the waiting room and was trembling when I went in her room, God knows what she thought.

Anyway she felt my glands and said as I had a bad cold all over Christmas and then gums inflamed etc they can take a bit to go down.

She then felt my stomach and there was no real pain there, just a bit of discomfort where I've had the pain. She didn't seem worried. But my stomach is still hurting now, more so with being poked around.

She mainly spent time on the anxiety and I think she knew I wasn't relaxed when I went in there sat down and handed her an A4 piece of paper full on both sides for her to read. :blush:

She offered to give me a sick note (I don't work right now outside but am trying to get as much work as I can online, so can't take that)

She gave me an appointment to have a mental health assessment on 13th February and back to see her in 4 weeks.

She also gave me some pills as I was expecting her to. I mentioned that I don't like to take pills as scared of side effects, she said you get that with anything that you put in your body etc. She gave me Sertraline 50mg and as I'm scared of side effects said to take one every other day. I'm not taking them today as I'm scared to but might see if I can work myself up to starting tomorrow. Reading the section for that drug on here isn't helping though as everyone is reporting scary side effects at first.

Was so worked up before going that I put my wrong coat on, my thin one and I was freezing which probably didn't help the trembling. Then had to come out of the health centre and walk to the nearest cash point ten minutes walk to the supermarket it's in and then back to the health centre for my pills that I'm not even going to take today. The dog gave me a filthy look when I got in for going out, think he thinks I'm a fixture in this house.

The dog is being walked in an hour or so as usual so might go along on that :woof. So I'd have been out twice today, no wonder I feel tired my body is probably wondering what I'm up to.

Thanks for replying again :)

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

Hey Shelly,

I started Sertraline back in November. Would be more than happy to share my experience. Do you have any specific questions?

[Andrash]

I feel very tired now, heart was pounding when I was sitting in the waiting room and was trembling when I went in her room, God knows what she thought.

Let me describe you my MRI experience. I went to the radiology room totally convinced that I had a brain cancer. To make things worse, I had an important business meeting after MRI, so I had to wear a tie. God, that tie-I thought it was not a tie, but a 200 pound metal box pressing my neck. So there I went, got undressed and entered the thing. After 20 minutes they told me it had been finished, and to get dressed. I did.

Naturally, as soon as I got dressed I asked the operators (nurses) about the results. I got the answer "Radiologist will speak with you in half an hour". For every sane person, that means exactly that. For me, that meant curtains. I was now even more convinced that I had brain cancer, that they saw it, and that they were just slowrolling me and not telling me the truth.

That half an hour-my heart was not pounding. No chance in hell. It was doing bloody somersaults. And it was not the only one doing them too-the whole bloody room was doing them together with it. I was shaking like a leaf, and trickles of cold sweat were pouring down my face and onto my freshly ironed, freshly bought silk shirt. When I entered the room, the radiologist (grey-haired woman, about 60 years old) greeted me with a big, broad smile, and told me everything was ok. I swear to almighty God I wanted to kiss her. :)

I repeated this story many times but doesn't matter-I don't like just to make fun out of others, but out of myself too :)


She then felt my stomach and there was no real pain there, just a bit of discomfort where I've had the pain. She didn't seem worried. But my stomach is still hurting now, more so with being poked around.

I'm not a doctor, but that sounds like indigestion-common ailment of anxiety sufferers.


She gave me an appointment to have a mental health assessment on 13th February and back to see her in 4 weeks.

Serious now-that's very good thing. Don't miss that appointment, and if possible, try to get counselling for your HA problem. Counselling really helped me, although I only had two sessions so far. Believe me, without it I wouldn't be posting this-I would be too busy researching about squamous cell carcinomas, rhabdomyosarcomas, glioblastomas multiforme and ALS on Dr Friggin' Google. :)


She also gave me some pills as I was expecting her to. I mentioned that I don't like to take pills as scared of side effects, she said you get that with anything that you put in your body etc. She gave me Sertraline 50mg and as I'm scared of side effects said to take one every other day. I'm not taking them today as I'm scared to but might see if I can work myself up to starting tomorrow. Reading the section for that drug on here isn't helping though as everyone is reporting scary side effects at first.

Ok, another thing from my experience-I was prescribed Xanax for my HA. My counselor said that, since I am not the hardest case (whatever that meant :)), I didn't have to take them regularly-only when I am under big stress or when I felt my anxiety was rising. Recently I had been under stress and I took the pills for two days. My only noticeable side effect was that I laughed a bit more than usually-for example, reacted to jokes that without the meds wouldn't have been that funny, if you know what I mean. But no "spaced-out" feeling, no dizziness, no nausea-nothing really.

Therefore my advice-take the pill. Don't be scared about the effects-90% of these are also Dr Google stuff=they don't happen really.

Of course, I'm not a doctor, and I was proscribed alpazarolam, not sertraline, if you want my experience with medications-it was much, much more positive than negative, and it helped.


Was so worked up before going that I put my wrong coat on, my thin one and I was freezing which probably didn't help the trembling. Then had to come out of the health centre and walk to the nearest cash point ten minutes walk to the supermarket it's in and then back to the health centre for my pills that I'm not even going to take today. The dog gave me a filthy look when I got in for going out, think he thinks I'm a fixture in this house.

The dog is being walked in an hour or so as usual so might go along on that :woof. So I'd have been out twice today, no wonder I feel tired my body is probably wondering what I'm up to.

Thanks for replying again :)

Another piece of advice-don't be out twice today, be out five times. Occupy your body and mind. It does wonders for anxiety, believe me. Run, exercise, work, go to pubs with friends, go watch a film, go to library and read a book, go to parties-whatever. It's better to be tired than anxious-active lifestyle is very, very good remedy for anxiety.

You are very welcome and looking forward to hearing from you again :)

[Shelly06]

Thank you both for your very nice kind replies :)

For the past few weeks I've been winding myself up as well as ever, researching everything that I could find about Sertraline (of course I found all the bad) I made myself feel sick with the worry about taking pills. Went out once and tried to convince myself I was cured and didn't need pills, but clearly I might.

Anyway, went to have my initial mental health assessment this morning. She was very nice just asked me about how I was feeling, what and how long etc. And then asked if I'd been taking my pills, I said no and then reeled off a list of things I'd learned online and why I was scared to take them. I don't think I have depression just very high anxiety so she changed what I was to take over to Citalopram. I've done a bit of googling and read something about heart problems but I'm not allowing myself to Google anymore. For one I can't keep stacking pills up and paying for them when I'm not taking them.

I've got an appointment to go back and see the doctor I saw initially in two weeks and dread going to say I've still not taken anything. I've got an appointment for CBT on the 19th March.

I did go to the shops after my appointment to buy my dog something so at least I didn't just go straight home.

Thank you Andrash for sharing your story and experiences and for taking the time to reply :) Hope you're doing well. Glad that your medication worked well for you when needed. I know you're right about half of the things that I read when I Google that probably never really happen or at least not as bad as some make out. I'm on a Google ban on all health related things at the moment, it's so hard not to though. :banned:

And thank you TooMuchToLiveFor for offering advice, just hope that I haven't done the wrong thing by making her take the Sertraline off me before I've even started and putting me on the Citalopram. Hope you're doing well on your medication. :)

[Leslie735]

Good luck with your appointment today!!:hugs:

[Andrash]

Good luck with your appointment today!!:hugs:

Second that! Post how it went :)

[TooMuchToLiveFor]

Yes- I am wondering how it went too…..:)

[Shelly06]

My appointment went fine. She really wanted me to take the medication though even though I don't want to. As I said I'd researched the hell out of the Sertraline and talked myself out of taking it.

So she put me on Citalopram and I've been too scared to take them, well my family got me to take one an hour ago and now I'm trying not to stress about it, keep trying to convince myself that my throat is closing as that's what it feels like it's doing I'm just going for a look at my throat with the torch, I keep thinking I'm going to have some major bad reaction to it and die.

I love being the anxiety part of me, not. I hate taking medication so much it always stresses me anyway, let alone anything like this.

Thank you all for still posting here xxx